Monday, January 22, 2007

How Himesh Reshammiya can get his groove back

Himesh Reshammiya is probably the most prolific music director in Bollywood today. His songs blare from loudspeakers all over the nation. His concerts are packed. His music props up dance floors everywhere. His fans are legion. So why does my gujju brother get no respect from a lot of people? Even Johny Lever handed him a hilarious reprimand on his show not too long ago. Well, there are several reasons, but instead of dwelling on them, I'd like to point out the following things Reshammiya could do to get his respect back.

Stop with the whole "India's First Global Rock Star" angle. A talented musician with ambition is one thing. A talented musician who thinks he's the big cheese and sorrounds himself constantly with women writhing around him is another thing. It works for rap stars, not for Bollywood directors. Besides it'll make older men jealous and they'll stop buying your CDs.

Quit playing wounded, noble guy in sappy videos. Playing sobbing victim wronged by women works once or twice. After a few, it gets old, then downright annoying. Make a video that isn't scripted around staring with puppy dog eyes at hot women. Mix it up, for God's Sake. Cast Jassi in something. Or better yet, play a psychopath who is obsessed with killing ants.

Know your strengths. See that video: I Love You Sayoni? You cracking a smile in there - good. You dancing - bad. You playing a good soul to a little boy - good. You playing martyr - terrible.

Do keep the cap and flowing trench coat. The entire scruffy, mysterious, cool look works if only because no one in their right minds would wear stuff like that in a tropical country and that makes you stand out. (Although reader Asha P. would like you to take the cap off - good idea once in a while)

Don't try to sing all your songs even though you have a pretty good voice (Don't worry about that "nasal" thing. It's not bad at all) Even a voice can get overexposed and your voice box is more exposed than Shakira's hips right now.

Pick your singers with care. It's not important to try out new talent just for the sake of it. More of the amiably sunny Kunal Ganjawala, less screechy stuff from Tulsi Kumar. And to hell with filmi connections.

Do push the limits of dance and rave but innovation is best served with quality not quantity. There is absolutely no need to remix every song on the CD. Some people do like to just listen to the music, not everyone wants to attempt a dislocated hip with every song.

Stop with the hyno-trance lyric thing. If the line says "Mein tumhe pyaar karta hoon", you don't have to go "Mein mein mein tumhe pyaar - mein mein mein tumhe pyaar - karta karta karta hoon". There is a fine line between hynotic and annoying.

Get some new instruments in your orchestra. It's not your songsmithing that's gone stale, it's your musical arrangements. Do an entire song with an acoustic guitar. Do another with a two-step. Pare down your music so we can enjoy the beauty of your tunes. Because when you choose to, you can still create some pretty darn good music. Unfortunately, it's all getting lost in the parameters imposed by Brand Reshammiya.

UPDATE: For those of you who asked for what is behind the cap, here is a picture.


Anonymous said...

Why's he hiding behind a cap? My opinion: Take it off!

Unknown said...

asha p. I updated the blog just for you.

Anonymous said...

U losers stop writing nonsense, ur nakkams like ur site name! ;)

Daddy's Girl said...

Best thing I've read about this guy so far. Well done.

Unknown said...

Thanks Daddy's Girl - I periodically get hate mail for this post :(. It's time to update it!

Anonymous said...

i agree with all you have said.. lol
i i i i i agree agree agree agree with all what u say !1 hahahah