BCCI's Dos and Donts

Reportedly the BCCI handed a list of "dos and donts" to the Indian cricket team on the eve of their departure for the cricket World Cup in the West Indies.

Balle Baaz - my special BCCI mole - has leaked some of the contents, which I have reproduced below.

We the BCCI have compiled a list of do and donts for you based on our past experiences. They are the following.

• Do not be paying for a lap dance beforehand, you might getting cheated


• Be suspicious of a woman who accepts your offer for make friendship eagerly, she may actually be being a man


• Do not be doing limbo after tequila shots. Your barf can blind you for days


• Do not be using the opening line "you want a piece of me?" on the women. They will whup your ass.


• Do not be saying "kya kallu ki aulaad" to Chanderpaul. He can bat really well.


• Do not be taking Shri Pawar with you to the beach and be giving him a soda to drink. He will be running after the women in no time saying "you want a piece of me?"

Yours Truly,
Secretary Niranjan Shah