Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Can this Indian Idol judge be saved?

Javed Akhtar has a personae that has been built up over the years: a kurta toting poet of fluency and intellect. A man who writes with his head but always with a rose in one hand. He commands a lot of respect - just take a look at his lead in our poll.

But for the last few episodes on Indian Idol 3, that crown has been slipping. And last week, Javed Akhtar threw a horrific tantrum that lasted two shows and - despite Mind Rush's hilarious theory - shook the faith of his fans.

Can this judge be saved? Have I ever held back on phaltu advice? Here goes.

  • Javedbhai, don't put pressure on yourself by trying to sound intelligent all the time. See when you do that, you'd better walk a straight line. No double standards, no chamchaagiri - that kind of stuff. Otherwise you come across as pompous. We know you can't do it. So sometimes - instead of trying to force an equation between a spunky girl's performance and the state of bharatiya naaris, just smile and have some fun. Say something silly. Heck, even say Mindblowing if that's what it takes.

  • On the other hand, forget Mindblowing and please keep saying umda and uttam - both words you've used and which I like a lot!

  • More respect, less chamchaagiri. And I'm talking about Alisha and Udit here - both of whom have been taking your barbs with good humor and enhancing their reputation. If Amit Paul bombs, we won't think less of you for saying it. If Anu Malik spouts more of his confouding theories, we'd think highly of you if you called him on it.

  • Occasionally allow yourself to think that others might be right. For example, if Sonu Nigam says Emon doesn't sing like him, allow yourself to believe it instead of insisting Sonu was fibbing.

  • Lose your temper more maturely. Otherwise you end up sounding like Richa Aneja who you once reduced to tears for her bachpanaa. You get my point?

  • You always hold me spellbound when you dig up some stories from the past about Indian artistes. You're someone whose career longevity spans three generations. How about putting it to good use and entertaining us all?

  • And finally, definitely wear those sparkling kurtas. I'm digging them. Really, where can I get some?

Since I've been accused before of hating sexy people, please also do read Mind Rush and Bong hits the bong's excellent defense of Judge Javed.


ppl said...

For a better outlook on the whole talking over, slightly belligerent javedji, I suggest another indian pop culture gem - Koffee with Karan.
Interesting look at the equation between shabana and hubby.

Anonymous said...


So true. I felt exactly the same the about that show when I had seen it. JA kept on talking over, and barely gave a chance for Shabana to even pick up her own questions. And I was surprised, how a guy who claims to be this classy feminist (add to that a dash of 'intellectual' and Aspi-pointed-Kurtas) can be so insensitive to the fact that during conversation everybody needs to follow some basic rules (manners, etiquette et al.).

Unknown said...

Leera, Many thanks for the link. Not only was it interesting and entertaining, but that Shabana. Hot!

Anonymous said...

Javed has indeed shattered all our opinions about him. I always considered him the most simple clear-minded unbiased (other than his special love for Ankita, tho I agreed with him during the wild card round that Ankita was far ahead of Suhit).This week came in as a shocker.It was really really mean of him to say that Emon could never be a playback singer etc etc. Emon does have a high pitched voice,but he sings songs of his 'jonar' very well.As for Ankita, she could be considered a 'goonj' of Sunidhi, cos thats the types of songs she sings. And its stupid of him to say that there is prejudice cos viewerss didnt vote for Ankita. He should have said this when Deepali got out.Ankita got out simply becos she didnt sing well.Period. I think shabana needs to give him a firing. Remember the firing she gave Anu Malik when he criticised the same Emon.
And if Javed speaks any more, he should know that Emon sings like Javed too...they both lisp!

Anonymous said...

Let me add a PS to this, lest Sunidhi fans start attacking me. Sunidhi is a wonderful singer. Ankita just tries to imitate her, and alas, falls way behind.

Unknown said...

Ankita was doing a bit of a Mauli lately. But according to that interview Leera forwarded Shabana and Javed meet only in airports. So where's the time? On the other hand if she did decide to do it, I'd pay a lot of money to be in the same lounge.

Anonymous said...

The hedonistic smile on Javed's face betrayed his "I got my pound of flesh" feeling, as he read the verdict.
I think, Javed's ignoring emon to the extent that he tripped over the boy as he tried to touch his feet was the most disgusting and obnoxious moment of Indian Idol 3.
Emon does have his limitations as a singer but he went down like a Man. No baby tears, no tantrums .elegance personified....an ending fit for a Greek Tragic Hero of the like of Petronious, complete with the most soulful redention of "Tarap Tarap" as his swan song....
You make me proud beta....You taught me how to win by losing.

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen the episode yet.But your comment has forced me to download it and now I'll watch it rt away.

Anonymous said...

Thank god!I slipped in the "Anon" mode, else there would be an uproar against me for using force on the Ahm! weaker sex
......Apologies galore before protests flows in ..........
Happy watching, waiting for ur Post