Monday, October 29, 2007

Himesh Reshammiya versus Rakhi Sawant

Having seen Himesh all summer on Sa Re Ga Ma Pa, I recently stumbled across Rakhi Sawant on Nach Baliye 3. It's hard to ignore either one and they carry the same cheesy entertainment quotient. So I thought I'd see how they stacked up against each other.

Fake drama: Rakhi recently engineered a confounding message from her Mom on Nach Baliye with an out of the blue appeal to leave no girl behind just because of her gender. Deliciously loopy! Himesh, as is well documented, converted a 17-year-old into a reluctant lover boy and annoyed the bejeesus out of his fellow judges on SRGMP.
Winner: Tie

Positive Energy: Both vie for the Farah Khan donated title "Number One Positive Energy". Either could find something cool to say about a rusted bed of nails. But when Himesh chatos, he weaves in inflated details from the slathered hasti's past thus convincing them momentarily that their past three disasters have actually been monster hits.
Winner: Himesh

Looks: I went back and looked at Rakhi's old videos - she ain't bad looking. On the other hand, Himesh looks like the kid every aspiring bully would want to start their middle-school bullying career with.
Winner: Rakhi

Cleavage: Sure Rakhi has the big now-small again drama going on with hers, but laughing about it just makes me feel like a creep. On the other hand, Himesh's expansive man-cleavage makes me feel like worse things could have happened than losing my hair.
Winner: Himesh for helping my self-esteem

Acting aspirations: Rakhi has some comic timing and can go from sobbing to perky in under 3 nanoseconds, thus enabling a director to save on elaborate scene transitions. As far as acting goes Himesh is comic, can move around a bit and deliver dialogue in a flat monotone making him a lock-in for Cyborg-type roles when the sci-fi genre takes off in Bollywood.
Winner: Tie

Himesh wins the toe-to-toe 2-1.

More in this series: Shahrukh Khan versus Amitabh

Also:

27 comments:

Joules said...

I feel sorry for Rakhi. The film industry can be a brutal place if have no connections and no talent.

Himesh is definitely on a movie signing spree. He has signed a movie with John Mathew Mathan (sarfarosh director) called Love Shtttorrry. That is how it is spelled. Himesh plays a tapori in the movie and apparently that is how they talk.

m said...

and no looks.. but she did well considering she has no redeeming factors

Love Shtttorrry? LOL are you fo real? genius

this movie might just might replace shaka lakakaka boom boom

Leera said...

Thank you Aspi for highlighting the beacons of our own burgeoning brand of saas-bahu reality tv.

So cheesy that it brightens your day and of course my favorite - deliciously tacky!

OzAngel said...

Rakhi has a tacky aura, but is tolerable... Himesh is a morone. I want VS back! By the way, Sonu is doing a charming job on the lil champs show. Go Sonu.

musing said...

I think there is no comparison here and Aspi is grossly mistaken. Rakhi Sawant is the greatest. Certainly better than Urmila Matondkar and I am sure if she had been in SRGMP, she would have flattened Himesh with her verbal barrage.

JDJ desperately needs Rakhi Sawant to come in and inject some life. Urmila can't dance can't act and can't talk..Rakhi can do all three much better. Plus if she is there Mika will give up fighting with the Judges!!

He will try to kiss and make up :)

Imagine she and Cyrus Broacha or Rakhi and Shiamak..Har Har..that would be blast..Negi would give up hockey totally and move onto more advanced stuff..

One day in the near future we will recount to our Kinder how we used to admire and cheer Rakhi. In contrast Himesh would be another wannabe who almost made it..

In any case this topic was most interesting and kept me awake most of the working day..no mean achievement that. Better than some of the other discussions..

Garam Rasam Ki Kasam..I am lovin it..pa ra pa pa ra..

Aspi, in your banner you have on the left side we have your caricature and on the right side we have 3 folks..One of them is His Himeshness, the other is Rakhi? and the third gollywog?

-a mused

Sidekick said...

Aspi, fun post! I haven't seen much of rakhi except on koffee with karan where she was smarmy, obsequious, attention seeking, tacky and of course huge entertaining! I also saw HR on the same show and that revealed his Jekyll and Hyde personality! On KWK he chaatoed Karan shamelessly, was the model of humility, was very low key and self-effacing. In short the polar opposite of his darth vader like persona on SRGMP. Maybe its bcoz i haven't seen much of rakhi, but she seems to lack some the malice that is evident in HR.

OzAngel said...

The gollywog is Debojit, I'm guessing? Am I right Aspi?

anu g said...

I think Mindrush/Manish said it was Sachin Tendulkar!

anu g said...

As Rakhi says 'Mere Jejus ki kasam, how can you compare me with Himesh.Main to apne dil ki baat bolti hoon. Himesh to kabhi seeda nahin bolta hai"......

Sania said...

But it looks like Abbhas!


Also, Vaibhavi Merchant? Nothing? Sigh.

Aspi said...

Sania, I share your like of Vaibhavi. I need to work on an NB post but its hard not knowing these people or those stars who come on the show. Its coming though - and I have one cool pic of V in it.

musing, the way Manish did it: its Sachin, Megan and Himesh. Really, you map to what you want to. That's why Manish is a digital Van Gogh (and enough with the cut his ears off jokes already).

Megan Fan said...

Megania is right : Rakhi has done well for herself. Read some where that she makes Rs. 10 Lacs / per working day.

musing said...

Aspi Bhai,

Hmmmm.....so let's see what the banner says -

aspi's drift is about S & M & H ?

-a musing

anu g said...

Wow, Musing, for once u have made a comment without a reference to coffee/sambar/rasam/beer.ort he likes....!!

anu g said...

Himesh is again in the bad books of Asha( tho it seems pretty delayed).Catch it at:
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/asha-bhonsle-lashes-out-at-reshammiya-again/51397-8.html

musing said...

Hey Anu,

How observant of you..you have nailed me again. Last night I had punjabi dinner :(

And now yearly yearly in the morning you have reminded myself of rasam!! aiiyo, How I miss my amma's food :((

This afternoon I will drown my miseries in sambhar and rice. Later on in the evening CNN and beer. I should recover in a day or two(hopefully).

BTW, in a different thread, the best "dialogue" I remember is the anger shown in a commercial by a typical tam brahmin (don't remember the context) - "Is this your father's ancestor's property or WHAT" ??!!

I don't know why I was talking about that..Aspi is surely going to use a creative slogan for this post now..something like: musing turns into confusing ..

-Be Mused.

Joules said...

Heard our girl is doing really well on NB. Has been scoring 30's from the judges.

Amrita said...

WHAT?!!!!
Listen, it's one thing to be all upbeat about The Himesh but all things being equal, Rakhi Sawant does NOT lose. Them's fighting words buddy. I'm planning a morcha to your house right now where we'll sing Supergirl aka Yaara Dil Na Laga outside your bedroom window all night.

girlie girl said...

Great post Aspi. I actually went back and read the Amitabh Vs. Shahrukh as well and that one was just as funny!

Anu g, I think Himesh is in the dog house with a lot of people...and after what happened with Asha Bhosle on srgmp, it doesnt surprise me!

Sania said...

Aw Aspi, no worries - I was just kidding! I'm just sad because I'm not Vaibhavi.

This may be an unpopular and/or naive opinion, but I think that Rakhi is actually pretty simple and earnest. I didn't think so when I first saw/heard/read about her in the news, but after watching her on NB, seems like she's just a hard working girl who just has her priorities a little jumbled. She must have it quite tough given that she doesn't speak English, and hasn't really tried to. I was also kind of touched by her crusade about "girls can too" on this weeks episode. So sue me, I'm a mush.

Although, was is here that I saw the article about Rakhi and how her father had moved out in disgrace? I'll have to look for that one..

meena said...

Sania, I am with you. Rakhi Sawant may be loud, crass and brash but she is also open, unapologetic and has more personality than any of the other simpering cats in bollywood.

I dont want to judge her personal choices but cant help cheering for her as she gives the smug typical self-satisfied bollywood male with double standards something to think about while she plays his own game.

SkD said...

OMG...slept thru all dis....lol...gud topic aspi..as always...love sthroryyy watveer...sic...aint gonna watch it...i used to hate rakhi..but , now i admire her for de guts n ahem..talent..ehehe..i hate himesh..for evrything..and i agree 100% wid meena..

Mind Rush said...

I agree with Meena. Raki is a Bollywood outsider. No sugar daddy or uncle is launching her career. She has managed to gain quite a foothold in a hostile industry. She has created her own brand of woman power. Not one that I necessarily agree with, but I can't ignore her either.

Sania said...

Clearly I'm on Aspi's bad side because he didn't include me in the roundup this time. :(

Aspi said...

Sheesh! How could I have missed that comment in there, Sania. I added you to the round up - which looks empty without you so I'm glad you are back to commenting again :)

Priti said...

Geez - how do you choose between two devils (almost like being between the devil and the deep blue sea!). Both are awful, but if one were to select the lesser of the two devils, it will be Rakhi who would win hands down.
Himesh is extremely manipulative, vindictive, shrewd and wily; Rakhi is climbing the ladder using her “virtual blonde” head. I am not saying she is not manipulative. She is, but that is not a patch on Himesh’s.
So for the criteria stated above, Rakhi is the clear winner.
But, if the criteria changed to wily, wicked, and devious– it would be Him-mess, for sure!

minnie said...

I am totally in favour of rakhi cos like the others above me pointed out...she has managed to survive in an industry where so many miss india's have failed to gain a foothold (or even a toe hold)...and she is totally frank and outspoken ...maybe put-on these days (have you noticed her expressions change like quicksilver on nach baliye) but still a lot of fun...better than the mealy mouthed female stars of today who snigger at her on kjo 's show just becos they are more privileged than her..jai ganapati bappa and jejus!