Sunday, November 18, 2007

Black and Blue on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa

I'm convinced John Abraham is a comedic genius! Let me explain.

On this week's JDJ, the star of the show - that would be Mir Ranjan Negi to everyone who's been living under a rock so far - got ready for another side-splitting routine.

This time, he dressed up in a shimmery black outfit with gold lame all over. He then donned a moth-eaten afro and applied what looked like black boot polish all over his face. Then he came out bouncing a basketball. It took me a few seconds or so to realize he was trying to channel a black basketball player.

Now if he had tried this around here in Chicago, he would have become the next CIO (Career Is Over) of the industry. Be that as it may, with this look in place, he bombed. Not funny bombed. He just bombed. This saddened me - because more than anyone else I like seeing Negi in full flow.

Bipasha Basu, who was all geared up to praise Negi to the skies, admonished him for disappointing her. But then John Abraham grabbed the mike and said more or less this: "Negi, the skin on your face was all dark. And so when you smiled, your white teeth really stood out. And this made your smile very noticeable. And this smile really saved your ass today" On the pantheon of nonsensically kind things to say, this one must rank pretty high.

Meanwhile, JDJ as a show took a rather nasty turn.

First, Mika got kicked off the show - and the bad vibes between him, the judges and his peers on the show resulted in a surreal results episode. Last week, frustrated with the judges thanda reaction to his rather sloppy dances, Mika asked his fans to refrain from voting for him.

Now on his exit, he grabbed the mike and proceeded to tell everyone how only Mika could have caused the exit of Mika, no one else. "My job was to increase the grandeur of this show" he smiled "which I've done. Now I'm leaving so others can get a chance to come forward". Heh, heh. A heart of gold, our Mika has.

The saga of Jay Bhanushali also plumbed some tacky depths. Tired with Jay's constant whining and recognizing the pettiness behind his claims that the judges were biased, Urmila finally had a go at him. In a voice that could freeze hot lava from a volcano in three nanoseconds, she ripped him up for focusing on the wrong things. Jay, who had earlier tried chatoing Urmila, for once looked lost for words.

This was followed by a dance plagued with wardrobe malfunction for his luckless choreographer. That same dance ended in both barely keeping their balance in the end.

Thus chastised, Jay tried to salvage some pride with an undoubtedly rehearsed jig where he chatoed Bipasha and asked her to dance with him. Phaltu Drift advice for Jay: it's pointless to create more opportunities to do stuff you're not good at - like dancing!

Ronit Roy has now become a highly interesting character in the show. He's dancing better than anyone else (he gamely took on Hritik Roshan's jig in Dhoom 2 and did it rather well).

But you get to see these montages of a driven, sad sack type of guy who keeps pushing himself, mainly by getting constantly pissed at his choreographer. Despite his extra humble personae, this makes him difficult to like whole heartedly.

Finally, the prospect of a wild card entry to either Prachi or Sudha Chandran caused much bitching among the contestants. I'm not sure how I would handle JDJ but if I were a producer (and I recognize I'm nowhere near being one), I would consider it the responsibility of the hosts to control the vibes on the show and generally keep them positive. In that, Rohit Roy and Mona Singh seem to be failing spectacularly.

Also:

44 comments:

anu g said...

Fantastic review Aspi.The captions were so so funny.I seemed to have missed a very interesting show.
I did read about how only Prachi and Sudha are returning as wildcard entries. The story goes that Balaji group hounded the JDJ production guys and so they decided to get back Prachi.To have a dummy contestant , Sudha was chosen.But she says she is not interested....and she has been given a very important role in Kyunki...somethign fishy!!!It sounds so much like typical indian politics!

anu g said...

Prachi has unfairly (I think so too) been given a special entry.Seems to be having a rough time at JDJ.Details at:http://www.mumbaimirror.com/net/mmpaper.aspx?page=article§id=30&contentid=200711192007111903025493cd6075f5

m said...

i knew it it is so predictible.. they voted her out so their darling young Prachi (18 year old for the last 5 years) could take a rest and then come back through wild card..in the meantime get some publicity..

i predicted this weeks ago didnt i? didn't i?

i'll miss mika, he was entertaining in a effed up kinda way..unlike sonali who is getting into my nerves, i can't stand her.. she seems like a total grade A b*tch.. now we might see her come here and give a big bhasan on how i dont have a life but i dont care

http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/4535/tn11689sonaliuh5.jpg

lol did anyone see what she wore to saawariya premiere? LOL

do not want said...

btw aspi your obsession with john and bipasha is disturbing, he's not even remotely hot if you consider hot guys in real life let alone be hot enough to compete with the likes of orlando etc

..and she reeks of desperation and how she thinks she can wear 2 inch of fabric and automatically get into hotness list.. sorry your waist is still bigger than texas and i seen strippers in las vegas hotter than you darling so offense to you..
maybe for mainstream india she is "hot" but not remotely if you look at wider scheme of things

anu g said...

'Do not want', Bipasha has just been named as the Hottest Asian Woman.I dont think she is getting votes only from mainstream India.This is only for ur info,not to begin a debate on how un-hot she is or who deserves it more!!

Bella said...

john is a hottie of note!!

I am just upset that i had to miss this show :( Is there anyway i can catch it online?

Saritha said...

John looked smashing in white.And bips is only getting better and better by the day.

I've liked Bips and John rt from their modelling days(they were not dating back then).Admire her for losing all the weight that she gained post Jism and getting back into shape.I shd chk her fitness video someday.Bips is sexy for her attitude,she speaks her mind,no hypocrisy - that is quiet likable

They've been the hottest couple ever...
Chk this Opposites attract

Saritha said...

Click on the thumbnails on the left to see John and Bips together.

anu g said...

Very true, Saritha. Bipasha has lost so much weight;thats something most people find extremely tough, esp for those living in india where food is a very important part of life.
And she is dark-complexioned, so thats a great thing to be happening in a land where people consider fair=beautiful.

anu g said...

Hey Aspi and other Gujaratis here,my husband's cousin is marrying a Gujju......do u really have all those pre-wedding song-and-dance sequences as they show in Kal Ho na ho?We are preparing the itenary, and I was telling them we need to keep apart time for some entertainment. Will they suddenly break out into a 'Jijju' dance and song like KHNH? My cousin says movies are exaggerated. But can i get any advice on this?

Saritha said...

anu,

Iam not sure of any 'jijju' act,but they might end up with a garba night.My cousins who lived all their life in Ahmedabad,got married to hyderabadis and irrespective of our tradition, always instited on a garba night-it's a diff issue that we could never match their steps.

Non-gujju advice:Play 'Move ur body' from Johnny gaddar and see what happens or go for this mad dance from 'honeymoon travels' - Sajna ji

Aspi said...

anu g, I've been to enough weddings now to tell you that life imitates art. So if you've seen it in a Bollywood movie, chances are someone will try to do it. Now whether your to-be relatives are adventurous enough or not remains to be seen.

Like Saritha says, learning a garba step or two is always a good bet.

And yes, eat your dessert first.

Aspi said...

Bella, you can watch online here.

do not want, I like John as an actor: I think there are some roles he'd be a winner for. He just needs to be cast right and Bollywood audiences need to break down their stereotypes of what constitues an actor: i.e. either face-crinkling teeny bopper or trembling-lipped drama king.

And Orlando Bloom?? My plate of boiled broccoli has more personality than him :)

Bips I like for several reasons: she comes across as articulate and a non-nonsense Go Ma Durga types - i.e. full of pop feminist energy. She bucks a lot of conventions in being so, is closer to Indian women physically.

Saritha and anu g both made these points as well.

headmistress said...

there are worse things to obsess over than John and Bips. I like John too, esp. in No Smoking - mainly because he is so typically pretty and buffed etc and he gets so messed up in that film...
Bips could be better if she could wear more clothes. But you've got to love her for bucking the phair and lovelee trend.

gujju weddings - get all your classic shaadi hitlist lined up, goad the more hyperactive aunties and uncles into doing a jig (not difficult) and everyone soon follows suit, then watch chaos slowly unravel.

Mind Rush said...

First off---I was upset with Negi's dance. I considered it offensive, but more on that another time.

Note kiya jaye ki His and Her Hotness have mended their relationship. Their body language was easier and more playful. Definite thaw in relations since the Indian Idol 3 soccer episode.

Mind Rush said...

Did Shiamak Davar read my post on his irritating behavior and decide to retire from JDJ?

Lest you all think that my false sense of omnipotence is on par with the Mika, let me add--I am kidding. However I am very curious to know if anyone can shed light on Shiamak's absence.

megan said...

oh wait hang on.. Bipasha could be dusky (i hate that term) but she also wears those light makeup to appear lighter.. so its not like she's the poster child for all the injustices done to "dusky" girls by the light skinned girls

headmistress said...

megan - you're right, but she's all there is, her and that saloni girl - but she wears the dodgiest foundation I've ever seen.

SkD said...

Ders dis new chick too in sum new serial on star world bout dark females....shes wearing some reall fake paint slapped on herself...weird.....comin back 2 de topic...is ronit[mihir virani] de choreographer or de celebrity...fail 2 get it...wat an ass...thinks no end of himself...did he forget how his debut movie had bombed....and btw, it was called "Bomb-blast"...:-s

m said...

WTF is up with desi soaps?

I watched one the other week and OMG it was hilarious (unintended).. it was total rip off of Devdas where this annoying mom yells "mera pritam aa raha haiiiiii from umerikaaa after 14 years"

WHAT THE EFF???? 14 years and he never visited his family ONCE?

then there was some Paro wannabe who was in love with the devdas wannabe who was fugtastic!

and 14 years ago they decide to meet at some temple after he comes back from his studies(AHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHAHAHAH WTF?)

and they meet but dont recognize each toher then something happens and they're rolling on the floor together in a TEMPLE of all places.. WTF? is it supposed to be cute?

anyhoo then she talks to the idol and is like "whyyyy are you doing thissss to meeeee? why didn't he cooomeeee visit meeeeeee.."

well dumbass he was there and you were too thick to ask for any young male's names...

i wish i had superpowers so i could go into my TV screen and slap these dumba**es...

Aspi said...

Ronit Roy was in a movie?! This I gotta see.

One more thing about Bips: anyone who can come out of "No Entry" with some dignity intact has my unending admiration.

Leera said...

It seems John and Bips are the remedy for a show losing stream, they made a horrible II3 season bearable in the tail end and last week's JDJ was the best yet. Now whether GOAL will benefit from any of this, remains to be seen.

I especially liked Bips chiding John for hinting that her role was marginal, even though its blatant that her role as a 'physiotherapist' is for some hotness quotient and of course the fantastic Billo Rani.

Sania said...

I would like to point out that Bipasha is, in fact, hot. She makes me renew my resolve to go to the gym. I want to look like her.. sigh.

anu g said...

Heres an interesting article on how Balaji is playing foul!http://www.india-forums.com/tellybuzz/article.asp?id=1322

Aspi said...

anu g, that article links to the NB Jodi No. 11 piece. Perhaps you pasted in the wrong link? Where is the foul play article! I want to know!

anu g said...

Sorry.Here it is, though its not as melodramatic as I made it out to be. .http://entertainment.oneindia.in/television/top-stories/specials/balaji-cheating-jhalak-dikhla-jaa-191107.html

Joules said...

Ekta has become the George Bush of India. She gets blamed for everything that goes wrong.

Meg, I am with you on tv serials. The main character always a woman seems so meddling I wanna scream at her.

John has the best torso of anyone in bollywood I have seen. The guy looks yummy in jeans.

m said...

I kinda have a crush on a "celeb" participant of "celeb talent show" after i saw first episode of it last night

I am too embarassed to say who.. heck i don't even know who he is or how he's a "celeb" but he had a cool personality

megan said...

they showed his 2 kids - he was a major DILF!!

SkD said...

Aspi, Ronit Roy has acted in a few movies in de mid 90s as the lead....if u remember....there was this song..."Dil Kya Cheez hai jaanam apni jaan tere naam karta hai"....from de movie Jaan tere Naam....and he did Bombbalst wid Chiranjeevi too...and de dude Aliasgar was in de JTN movie too..

m said...

ronit roy needs to get his teeth fixed- dude you can afford it

yuck..its nastay..how can his wife/girl kiss him?? with those cavities

Mind Rush said...

Again, anyone with info on why Shiamak Davar is MIA?

a) He decided to call it quits because of my post on his annoying behavior
b) The participants told him he was annoying
c) He is sick and has some annoying symptoms of ego-itis

nutmeg said...

d) He is in love and is way busy with his new boyfriend

SkD said...

e] His Hindi language tutorials clash with the shoot timings.

Sania said...

haha I like SkD's reason the best.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Mumbai/Shiamak_is_Indias_Michael_Jackson_/articleshow/2535290.cms

Possibly the real reason.

Sidekick said...

For Bips fans
http://specials.rediff.com/movies/2007/nov/20sl1.htm

anu g said...

Mindrush, u seemed so worried about Shaimak wondering whether u had shooed him away fromJDJ.Sania was right.....and guess who is taking his place as judge this time.Bipasha bASU!
Saritha,talking about overdose, heres a killer-dose!!!

m said...

ARGH

doesn't bipasha have movies to shoot? she comes on every single reality show.. ARGH so annoying..

oh wait my bad, all she does is do a few item numbers and shake her booty in the movies she does so she'll have spare time

anu g said...

Can someone tell me who got out on JDJ and Nach Baliye this week?

Spruha said...

JDJ: Ronit was eliminated.

Nach Baliye: Shweta-Alex were eliminated.

Spruha said...

Oops...Alex-Shweta were eliminated on last week's episode. I just saw it so got them mixed up! They didn't eliminate anyone this week, but introduced this 11th jodi.

Anonymous said...

Megan,who is the "celeb" participant of "celeb talent show" that you have a crush on?

Now now,don't be embarassed:)

Anonymous said...

Megan,who is the "celeb" participant of "celeb talent show" that you have a crush on?

Now now,don't be embarassed:)

m said...

haha anonymous this is really random..

actually i don't for the life of me remember who he is that i had a crush on so many months ago? srsly.. must have been like a "one look" and i thought hey he seems cool and almost cute

then the following episode "EWWW he's a fug and sucha TOOL what was i thinking.. NASTAY"