I am touched by your numerous letters of encouragement. But I don't have time to dwell on adulation as I have to get down to work. Two desperate letters came my way, and after some deep meditation, I came upon the responses.
Letter #1---Dear Mind Rush:
Lions Gate doesn't let me have any creative freedom. I used to enjoy making gorno (aka torture porn) but ever since I met a lovely young woman, everytime i sit down writing ideas for most innovative ideas of maiming and torturing a half naked woman, i end up writing sweet love songs to the girl of my dreams.
She is a lot younger than I am (but legal) and she loves me for who I am, sick and twisted and with bushy eyebrows.
But how can i go back to envisioning torture chambers and not gardens of love.
After all i need to stick to my genre to earn bread for my new woman. I don't want struggles.
First off---this is a "family" blog. So hereafter, I shall discreetly refer to your professional interests, a.k.a. tourture porn as TP.
So, you are in love! You came to the right place to seek advice. Okay, ER, you are in a rapturous relationship! Celebrate it! Sing from a bridge! Dance in a towel! Love is pure poetry...you have discovered your yang with your "Saawariya".
If this young woman is legal, marry her! Once the honeymoon is over, life might well become a torture chamber. You will be recover from your sweet love songs and then can go back again to being entangled in TP.
Letter #2---Dear Mind Rush:
I am a celebrated but beleaguered Bollywood director. The critics have lashed out at not only my pure, subtle, beautiful story but have also launched broadsides at my personality dubbing it as controlling, egotistical, self-indulgent and so on. What is even worse is that my magnum opus has been dubbed a flop. I've gone on the offensive too ---- to tell my side of the story but it hasn't stemmed the tide of the critics.
What should I do now? Ignore the ignorant, biased, critics who clearly have an agenda against me or continue to fight with all I've got. Can I help it if I'm a misunderstood genius and the naysayers are clearly too stupid to understand the subtlety of my craft?
S(eriously) L(ost) (in) B(ollywood)
Dear Mr. SLoB,
Your inner purity and beauty are misunderstood! You are a visionary. As they say: "Genius is in the eyes of the beholder." And how could your vision be in need of a prescription?
I applaud your strategy. The best defense is attacking others. How dare anyone question your genius? I mean, the world is a harsh place for narcissists. (Mr. Him-mess Besharmiya should learn a thing or two from you.)
But Mr. SLoB, if ever cruel self-doubt leads you to genuine self-examination and cures your short-sightedness, you could shift your focus away from yourself and towards others for once. Heck, there might even be a choreographer who is pining for you. Now that would be a pure, subtle, beautiful love story!
- girlie girl thinks Ranbir and Sonam's careers depend on their next choices
- Sania can't believe SLoB won't make a move on his lovely choreographer
- Its because he's a mama's boy, says Joules
- headmistress's money is on Ranbir to make it big. Sonam scares her.
- Anon wants some advice for Shahid Kapur
- P reports Katrina has dumped Salman (hint, hint, the advice here is free Sallu!)
- SLB decides to finally show his jalwa to everyone
- Sidekick thinks Shahid and Salman should stop by here
- AB asks for advice about being sandwiched between famous people
- SK asks for advice about being dumped by a famous person
- SK asks for advice about being dumped by a hoping to be famous person
- SR wants help with hordes of crazy female fans