The secret language of Horns

Over the years the traffic in my beloved Vadodara City has become extremely congested. And I don’t think the problem is the aabaadi. Clearly, the problem is the aabaadi of cars. Most of the roads I care to traverse just aren’t built to accommodate cars. And each car displaces about five two-wheelers. The consequent unfavorable people-to-vehicle ratio results in some nasty gridlocks during rush hour.

For the most part this doesn’t affect me because I refuse to use my parents’ car (or its obdurate driver). Instead I scoot around on the Honda Activa that Pappaa has kept around for my visits over the years. Seated on a two-wheeler, you get to insert yourself in impossible spaces between cars and get ahead one foot at a time in even the tightest of traffic gridlocks. Its amazing how much distance you can cover a foot at a time.

This annoys the car drivers no end –I’ll often get a gaali, a tongue cluck or a glare from someone behind a glass window. The best way to react to this is to lift the hood up from your helmet and smile very widely. Then continue to see if you can bend your scooter into the “L” shaped space left between the ricksha and the truck.

And with all of this comes the honking. Initially it was an ego thing with me to not use the horn and thus join the swarming masses. Later I realized I was missing out on some tremendous social interaction via horn. Thus as I started closely observing honking patterns I came to realize the potential of its rich vocabulary.

Here are some of the many honking words I encounter (and emit) on a daily basis.

Beep: Hello
Beep-Beep: Good Morning
BEEP: Out of my way!
BEEP-Beep: I’m still waiting for you to move!
BEEP-BEEP: Move, Balad! (Reserved for Buffalos or particularly slow pedestrians)
Bipbip: Aunty, is Chandu home?
Bipbipbipbip: Crap, I’m out of control, run!
BEEEP: Yawn. I’m bored.
BEEEEEEP: Moorkh!
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP: Stop glaring. YOU are the one WALKING on the ROAD!

Also:

• The secret language of horns in Dubai by SkD



• Lata P discovers the new use of the emergency lights in Kerala

Sardines in a car

Activities that are built to entertain me in classy and well-meaning ways have never had much of an impact on me. I prefer to be amused and entertained by the simple and unexpected events, even if they cause me discomfort.

In my many trips back to India one such event that I’ve grown to love is what I call the Impossibly Packed Car Ride. It works like this.

You’re hanging out at a Mall, with some relatives. There are three adults including yourself and five kids between 10 and 3 years of age. You are joined by a cousin who is to give you a ride home. Boy, you tell yourself, I had no idea my cousin made so much money that he would own a huge van.

Cuz shows up in a Hyundai Santro. Hmm….you think: where is the other car? Turns up that is the car all nine of you are riding home in. In my days of past as The Annoying NRI, I would have protested. But these days I whoop and jump right in the middle ready to get crushed by everyone.

Against all odds, everyone is accomodated. There are children in every lap – heck, even the children have children on their laps. One of them is screaming his head off. And to save gas, you just took a shortcut through what is known as roller-coaster gulley – a road so filled with potholes from nearby apartment megaplex construction that the children involuntarily exchange laps from the jerks.

I’m not being sarcastic – I’ve become extremely fond of this near-ritual. I like this virtual invasion of personal space as long as the people are related to me in some way.

There are limits to my capacity for entertainment as well. I have problems with extreme closeness with strangers. I still get annoyed when the person behind me in line stands so close it feels like he’s right up my butt. And I haven’t ventured on a local train in Mumbai in years to experience the People-Juicer.

Also:

• 14 people in a Premier Padmini, recalls Saritha



• Joules remembers her early NRI days



• SkD on why she misses India now



• Saritha reviews Jab We Met



• Joules observes that Kareena's role was tailor made for her



• 8 in a Maruti 800 in Chennai for anu g



• What exactly is the NRI look?



• Minnie reveals the new word for blue films and nominates Welcome as the worst movie since Cash



• Priti thinks Jab We Met is overrated



• Seven people in a small Japanese car in California with Kanan



• anu g's kids are forced to ride in a sleeper class on a train

A tale of two Ustaads

Most of the time Mission Ustaad makes me want to gag. Take this week’s episode for example. The theme was liberation of women. Lara Dutta made some appropriate noises to open proceedings. Javed Akhtar threw out the somewhat tired, but tested, argument of not putting women on a pedestal but instead treating them as gender equal.

Then Roop Kumar Rathod and Sonali came out and sang something and Roop Kumar talked about what a progressive male he was. More appropriate noises.

A. R. Rahman went “Mumble, mumble”.

But then something funny happened. Sonali made the rather excellent point that even though women were making inroads, even after a full day’s worth of work, they still had to come home and cook. This is called responsibility of critical function, i.e. women still have the responsibility of critical household work despite working as hard as men outside the home.

And Kailash Kher – also known as the Nemesis of Javed Akthar on this show – picked up the mike and said something extraordinary. “Sometimes it’s just that we like women’s cooking” he said to a flabbergasted Sonali “People like Mummy ke haat ka khaana. So we are just saying, compromise and come home at 4pm instead!”

For Javed Akhtar this opportunity must have looked like a long hop from Brett Lee. And he promptly picked up the mike and hooked Kailash Kher. “Would YOU come home at 4pm?!” he thundered. At this point wisely, Kailash Kher did the equivalent of a Bobble head.

Interestingly, after Kailash’s retrograde outburst, he sang the most progressive song of the show. Praise came in from a lot of quarters. His partner Mahalaxmi Iyer - with whom Kailash forms a magnificent singing pair – must have asked him to zip it because the Kher stood around quietly. But when Javed Akhtar spoke, Kailash wore an “I don’t know this man” expression on his face. More Bobble heading ensued.

A. R. Rahman again went “Mumble, mumble”.

Later, Roop Kumar Rathod challenged Javed Akhtar’s criticism of his second song by pointedly saying that his message was for the masses and not for a bagalthela intellectual.

Point well made – and Mission Ustaad, having configured itself as “Javed Akhtar versus Everyone” might well be on its way to being an entertaining show after all.

Sir, your flight is not an option

I'm going to retool an old phrase: opinions are like flying nightmares in India - everyone has one. Here is my latest one - nightmare, not opinion.

I'm coming back from a super vacation in Goa with my eight year old son MotorSandal. And en route to Vadodara, I have a connection in Mumbai. The connecting flight to Vadodara was an Indian Airlines flight. When I mentioned this to people, I thought I saw concern in their eyes, but I didn't understand it back then.

The flight from Goa to Mumbai was uneventful if you are used to chaos - which I am. But I had already fought a battle with a woman cutting line in the baggage check over how invisible my son was next to our loaded cart that she thought no one was in line (Lady, how about the other eight people behind him? You think they were lining up for a swayamvar?)

Now I get off my much-delayed flight in Mumbai and run over to the Indian Airlines terminal feeling good about being in the nick of time and having outwitted the many porters who claimed I couldn't get to Departure with a cart.

A young lady in a starched saree smiles at me and asks if I need any info.

"Where is the check-in line for Vadodara, Miss?" I ask.

She smiles again. "That is not an option for you today, sir"

"Um, what does that mean?"

"It means we don't fly to vadodara any more"

I wave my ticket in her face. "But you do - it says so right here. Flight IC 149!"

She smiles like one would at an errant child "Sir, that flight stopped going to Vadodara a few days ago"

"Um, I wasn't informed! What do I do now!"

Another smile. "You could take the flight to Ahmedabad. There are taxis available there that can get you to Vadodara"

"Ok, can you help me get on that flight?" I ask.

"No sir, because we aren't flying to Ahmedabad today either"

At this point I decide to ignore her existence and turn and look at the crowd at the Wait-List counter. I elbow my way through a throng of people yelling and waving tickets and state my case to no one in particular because the counter isn't manned.

A Lalita Pawar-like woman in a purple saree and horn-rimmed glasses jumps on the baggage conveyor belt from the neighboring counter and waves a pen in the air. "We DONT FLY TO BARODA!" she says. "Try buying another ticket for tomorrow at the terminal outside!" Then she jumps off the belt and disappears. Everyone else at the other counters are busy trying to burn holes in the desk with their eyes.

After some more trying, I give up and make my way to the other terminal. En-route I chat with a staffer from another airline. "Can you show me your ticket?" she says, her eyes widening. "I have to see this - its crap even coming from Indian Airlines". Now I understand the look of alarm in the eyes of anya sajjans earlier.

Interestingly while buying new tickets, I note that the only airlines with orderly queues are Kingfisher and Jet. All the others have jhunds of people thronging the ticketing window and trying to insert their entire body through the small window cutout. Already having added Vibhishan-like wisdom to my self in the last hour, I decide to stand in queue at the Jet window (Kingfisher doesn't fly to the V).

I have to buy business class tickets for the following day because everything else is sold out. In between I get pummelled by a sweaty unkil who is late for his flight and having hijacked my space at the counter wants someone to stop the plane. My helper - a young girl with a dazzling smile - says: "Sir, in the time its taking you to argue with us, you should just run and miss your flight in person!"

I call my favorite cousin in Mumbai and tell her I will be home for the night. Then I fight with the taxi driver who is sorely disappointed that I am only a Rs 200 fare instead of the bigger fare he was trying to land. "Sahab" he glares at me "I was hoping to make more money off of you! Samajh ke de dena!" After some negotiations with Startlingly Honest Taxi Driver, I am instructed to lie to the gate officer about where I am headed so that the taxi driver won't have to stand in an 8 hour line outside the airport again.

Most of this I find highly amusing and educational except the Lalita Pawar character - who just annoyed me without providing much entertainment. Of course, I don't have to deal with this every day unlike the many other passengers who - when I chatted with them during waits - spontaneously unspooled their own tales of flight frustration.

And even a pool of mud can house a lotus or two. I was able to observe Mithun's highly personable son Mimo from close quarters at Goa airport and I got to hang with my cousin-sister - who I fondly call Abuleen and who is the only person in the world I've met who shares my befuddlement at the popularity of Jaya Bachchan. Much savage Bollywood bitching ensued at her rooftop restaurant not far from Santa Cruz.

And if you think I'm being harsh on IA - I haven't even gotten to the Drift Memsaab's story about trying to get a refund for a cancelled flight.

One of these days, I expect to pick up a newspaper and read the following headlines: "Indian Airlines actually run by Gabbar Singh. Heads nod with enlightenment"

Also:

• Gabbar Singh was a perfectionist and would have set things straight, says Amrita



• Beth on why she calls her laptop Gabbar Singh



• SkD recalls a Govinda song



• Engine trouble on Sahara for Joules



• anu g documents her husband's flight experiences



• Priti's VUSA arrangements go haywire



• Blue Bike wants domestic travel outsourced



• Malz is amused by the new IC name and merger



• anurag has some recommendations for US flights

Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Lil Champs 2007: War and Peace

Priti notes the escalating competitive sourness on the show with dismay

When a game becomes a war, when the sports arena looks like a battle field, when a creative competition becomes cut throat, the very ethos and spirit of the game takes a beating.

The winners gloat - remember Aneek’s expression of disbelief on being declared a winner? - and losers break down - Rakhi and Abhishek’s walk out on the recent NB3 results, and Rakhi’s subsequent tirade alleging the channel had manipulated them to ensure the TRPs of their show even as they ensured people from their channel’s serial win – “They have ruined us! I did nothing but concentrate on working for months for this show”, and Abhishek’s wail of “there is no reality in the reality shows!”

Such moments make these competitions such a sham. Aren’t the participants prepared to lose even if they have dreamt about winning? Do the channels actually promote these conflicts to raise the TRPs, as most losers would have us believe? Or is it just a case of sour grapes?

When this gets extended to a show that involves kids, one feels like rushing to protect those little lovable ones - from elimination and in the case of SRGMP Lil Champs even from their own parents!

These parents seem to have set no limit in realizing their dreams through their children. The very adults who are supposed to inculcate sporting spirit in their wards, seem to be a role model for exactly the opposite. Win! By hook or by crook!!! That seems to be the message they are driving home.

The Dec 21 episode saw this bitter sense of competition echoed during the results. But before that a peep into the little darlings’ performance - Vibhore’s roaring “Dardi rab rab kardi”, Rohit’s “Kawa kawa kawa”, Amir Hafeez’s “Soniye”, and Tamay’s “Jhooth nahin bolna” were superlative. Rohanpreet seems to look so much more relaxed now and his singing has improved manifold. But I wish Vaishali didn't act sooo precocious and was a little more her age. Vasundhara also pulls my sails down with her “Oh my God!” naatak each time she exults over something.

My all time favorite though is Amir Hafeez. His “Saawre” and “Teri diwani” were absolutely divine. Also Vibhore with his mop of thick hair and toothy smile is lovable. The unpretentious Sahil getting back in the game is great too. Actually each of those kids is ever so cute.

Result Time

There were to be four eliminations this work. I waited for the results with bated breath – not sure if I wanted to see anyone, least of all four go away. Even Sonu seemed to be bracing himself when he remarked that they would be sad to see some of the kids go. They had become like their own kids he said. Richa Sharma, the guest on Friday, announced the results - Sagar, Barbie, Sayon, and Loria could not make it.

Aisa Kaise

With so many kids going, the parents voiced their disappointment. Sayon’s mother wanted to know each kid’s individual vote count.

Loria’s father was the most vociferous. He demanded to know how there could be a total of little over 2 lakh votes when they had themselves set up special computers in various places for sending in more than one lakh votes, and had spent more than 70k on SMSs!

Loria’s was taken aback at this“admission” by her father. If she had her way she would’ve rushed across to him and gagged him. Aditya informed him that only one vote from a computer was registered. Mr. Doshi’s shameless demand of why they were not told of this had the judges shocked.

Sonu had to tick off Mr. Doshi with “achhe sanskar sikhao, sharafat se jeetna sokhao”! Suresh Wadkar and Richa Sharma, the guest of the evening were in agreement. Also a spot for drama, the judges staged a walk out! A tiger doesn’t change it’s spots! So the script writers furiously wrote the drama, that was subsequently enacted on the show.

I wonder if those kids can really enjoy the winning or losing with such overwhelming pressure from their parents. I thought the advantage with children is you can’t keep them down for too long. They get over their adversities far quicker than adults. But can they get over quickly enough carrying their parents’ baggage?

Only time will tell.

Nach Baliye 3 Grand Finale: A coronation goes south

It’s amazing how you can build hours worth of programming around what is essentially 1 minute ka kaam. And so it was that Nach Baliye 3 went on and on for over four hours on Saturday – even though it was the final fifteen minutes that yielded the most amusing drama.

Having danced really well as a couple throughout the show, Rakhi Sawant and her exuberant partner Abhishek Awasthi had translated their status as early forerunners into final favorites. A hugely confident Rakhi pranced with élan in pre-finale press conferences and declared her belief that she would finally win a show.

Many seemed to agree with her: she was up against the pair of Aamir and Sanjeeda – graceful and flexible dancers but with all the personality and presence of undercooked noodles.

As the results were about to get announced, Rakhi shed copious tears. Abhishek clasped and read the Hanuman Chalisa under his breath. Someone next to Rakhi’s mum looked about to keel over a statue of Mary she was holding. Both the dancers looked like they were winding themselves up for an “Oh my God! I won!” type of release.

But bhais ki pooch if it wasn’t the competition that was announced as the winners. For a whole minute, it seemed, neither Abhishek nor Rakhi moved. They didn’t even glance at the winners – let alone make a gesture to congratulate them. And when they did move, they stormed straight off the stage.

Even a guy like me – who loves tacky crap like this – cringed a bit. Because something like this has got to hurt. It means facing up to the fact that you might just not be as popular or likeable as you might believe you are.

It was kind of like Kashmera Shaw on the same show dancing her heart out and still not impressing the judges. The thought must surely have crossed her mind that perhaps she was just not good enough as a dancer.

Speaking of which, was it really necessary to cram the show with dances by just about everyone? Bhagwaan ke liye, if I wanted to watch TV stars dance to Bollywood numbers, I’d tune in to a TV awards show and drink in the Bollywood envy. This annoying practice reached its zenith when Barkha Bisht and Indraniel showed up and executed yet another loose dance. Although for a moment it was fun to see Indraniel waving (he calls it dancing).

Still I noted the fact that hosts Hussain and Tina had established camaraderie with the contestants and earned their respect thus enabling them to keep the show tight and maintain some level of positive energy in front of the camera.

And I was thankful to the judges for shaking a leg between commercials – thus giving me the impression that people were into the show even as my eyes were turning bleary and my neck was hurting.

brb

Boy, the holidays are here and its time to unwind. So I'm going to take a breather and spend a lot of time interacting with friends and family. What'll happen to Aspi's Drift? Not much - the regularity of the posts will be choppy. I'll probably take the opportunity to post some non-TV stuff I've written.

I might post less frequently or not at all for days - we'll see if the Drift Memsaab keeps me in the house with this kind of time on my hands. I'll definitely try to catch the finals of JDJ and NB.

It won't last forever - I like writing too much and I enjoy the company of everyone who is gracious enough to stop by. So by the time the second week of January rolls by - I'll be fully charged and much more disciplined. Hope you won't mind this too much.

Happy Holidays!

Mir Bidaai on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 2

Well it had to happen sooner or later - but Mir Ranjan Negi bit the dust last week, leaving a rather sad me in his trail. Why did I become such a fan of the Mir?

For one, in the very first episode of JDJ, the producers stuck to showing snapshots of him voguing for the camera - thus sending us a clear signal that he blew chunks. This endeared him to me, especially since he was carrying a hockey stick in that non-performance to remind us that he was actually a khiladi.

Then he turned in one riotous performance after another - his brilliant choreographer making light of his inability to do complex moves by giving him comic avatars.

Since Negi was the oldest contestant, everyone - including the judges - called him "so sweet" and told him he was great! At one point the judges - obfuscated by Negi playing a stiff puppet - gave him a perfect score. Consequently, Negi became convinced he was in with a chance and seeing it evaporate bad mouthed the judges just prior to his departure. Entertainment!

At one point Negi showed up dressed as a black basketball player (with a darkened face to boot) in a glitterarcious outfit, causing Mind Rush to send me this furious note:

Being Black or of African origin is not a cartoon character that one can imitate and caricature. Negi and the production people are essentially satirizing a whole people and their appearance. What's worse, they are furthering the stereotype that Black = Basketball player.

There was no need for the darkened face and Afro. It’s the equivalent of a Hollywood film depicting Indians in turbans and speaking with a thick accent.

But Negi put this behind him and went from strength to strength. His khiladi friends starting sending SMSs to the right shortcode and Negi was off to the races. He even got a kiss from Diya Mirza (the flying kind) and a "sexy" out of Sharmila Tagore. Now think about this: how much has a self-appointed "chocolate boy" like Jay Bhanushali gotten out of actresses across generations despite chatoing them relentelessly? Zilch! See my point?

For a while it was Mir Ranjan Negi's world. We all just lived in it.

Also:

• anu g on why she loved Negi on JDJ



• A true gentleman says Leera



• Tania applauds the Mir

The incredible lightness of being Javed Akhtar

As a lyricist I enjoy Javed Akhtar's concoctions, well mostly (Meena thinks he is a Lyrics Factory). His ability to thread together interesting words on even a potboiler like OSO made me sit up and pay some attention. Although I'm not much of a consumer of poetry, his prose almost always is of interest to me. In interviews, he's engaging and full of fascinating anecdotes which he unfolds carefully like treasured possessions - he's the kind of person you would like to invite over for dinner.

But of course there is a different Javed Akhtar as well - the one who pops up on shows almost always as an evaluator of proceedings. I've watched Javed Akhtar on enough shows that I can tell you that his presence fills me with mixed emotions.

His presence is a dignified one, until you realize he has very little patience for those he marks down on perceived intellect.

His pride in Hindi and Urdu are rousing, until he carries on incessantly in it, often making the same point repeatedly.

His intellect is refreshing and so is his sense of soulful observation, until he tries to say something clever every time he is handed the mike.

No one is without flaws - or as in my case overwhelmingly filled with them (but then, I'm not on TV). And watching anyone incessantly can take away the mystique. And I believe this might be happening with Javed Akhtar.

There is a filmi template of overexposure that is prevalent in Bollywood where stars blanket themselves on hoardings, media, TV and films. But while this might work with their core audience - which is considerably younger than Javedbhai's - it certainly doesn't do the poet any favors.

So here is my phaltu Drift advice for Judge Javed:

Limit your appearances on TV - show up as a celebrity guest or trade in some favors for an occasional appearance instead of doing an entire season.

Once in a while walk in with Shabana Azmi to help promote her movie.

Definitely keep the bagalthela look, but mix in those Khadi Bhandar kurtas with some of the more colorful ones you wore on Indian Idol 3.

And above all remember that intellect comes in many forms.

Also:

• It's tough to be witty and well-behaved all the time, says anu g



• leera links to a Ranvir Shorey-Vinay Pathak chat for more insights



• Joules wants to see a more romantic Javedji

Mission Ustaad: Rahman Jaage!

Sidekick's curiosity brings her back to Mission Ustaad although her patience is wearing thin

Can the dual goals of raising social consciousness and providing entertainment coexist? Based on the evidence from the first full week of Mission Ustaad, sadly the answer is an unequivocal No! Not so much because this is much too ambitious to undertake, but because the creative forces behind the show haven’t the faintest clue how to execute its concept.

Case in point: this week’s theme was “Jaago”. A well-meaning, noble, generic anthem if there ever was one, but one without a context or a well articulated purpose. The immediate question that arises is: Arre yaar, kiss liye aur karna kya hai? In the first of the weekend’s two episodes, the luscious Lara Datta presented us with a set of dismal facts on how developmentally backward India is. We know the issues in the abstract, but I’ll concede that the statistics are chilling. What is missing here is the call to action - okay, so now what? How can we be instruments of change?

If you’re expecting a show with a real social mission, one that will awaken a genuine social conscience ala Rang De Basanti or Lage Raho Munnabhai, it’s time to desert this sinking ship. However on the entertainment front this is not yet a lost cause. So let’s get to the stuff that really counts - the superficial- and let me count the ways:

1 Sur, Taal aur Laye: The singing is fantastic. For two more straight episodes, I loved hearing these talented and accomplished ustaads. Dil Khush hua when Rahman opened with “Yeh Jo Des Hai Tera” to an audience swaying to the beat, holding up candles in a darkened studio.

2 Yeh Apna Fashion Hai Bhaiyya: The darjis on the show (there’s a huge gaggle of them including some big name designers) are top notch.

• Simone Singh (who for some reason the captions identified as Simon Singh, my fave author!) sported a variety of elegant Anarkali kurta ensembles



• Lara wore a green sari with a very interesting blouse in the currently popular pallu over one boob style (which is a no-no with the fashion forward Drift Janta) in the first episode and a sparkly fitted black dress in the next episode. In the black dress she was seated throughout, so my phaltu Drift advice to the show runners is to make sure that Lara stands up and models her outfits appropriately for maximum masti.



• Sonali and Vasundhara wore really pretty kurtas with their jeans that I would love to source.



• The men were a tad boring, but Naresh was unintentionally hilarious in his unkempt outfit with red jacket, flapping belt and rose colored (literally!) glasses inside the studio.

• My Bitter Half joins Aspi in Judge Javed (JJ) kurta-envy. He wants to write to JJ to ask where he gets kurtas, so that he can buy some on our trip to India this week.

3 Jhagde Zindabad: JJ is living up to his glorious potential for conflict and this has unexpectedly become a three way fight between JJ, upstart Kailash and smooth operator Roop Kumar in the king of verbosity sweepstakes. Where the upstart is by turns confrontational and contrite, Roop Kumar is super slick and sneaks in a generous dose of irrelevant shayari to upstage JJ who is of course up to the challenge and answers in fitting style. More spectacular fireworks are surely to follow as the cumpteeshan heats up. But most satisfactorily, pomposity and verbosity reign supreme.

4 Rahman Jaage: Simon …. er Simone did something smart and frankly self preserving in the first of the two episodes - she sidelined Rahman. She got to him last if she did at all. He was allowed to stare vacantly into space (I mean compose Jodha Akbar’s background score!) thus permitting him to stew in peace. Perhaps this emboldened him or he isjust a slow starter, or the Rahman-chatoing JJ pitched in with advice - take your pick.

But in the second episode our reticent Rahman jaage. Silver tongued he is not, but in his inarticulate way he dissected compositions expertly. In particular his analysis of the interplay of melody and lyrics in Kya Hua Tera Vaada and the analysis of the Naresh-Shweta Bhramastra (which means an original composition by the artists) were interesting. Perhaps having come that far he was tempted to overreach - he even declared that the Rathods’ Bhramastra surprised him!

Tut, Tut, Rahman saar - love that you’ve found your voice, but while that was a nice composition that likely has repeat value – but really was it such a great surprise???

Also:

• Aspi would like more Sonali Rathod on the show



• Here's what to do if you really want to contribute, says Joules



• Tania sees promise but is cynical about the show's future



• anu g is still confused about the show's concept

Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Lil Champs: Setting a few new trends

Tania enjoys this show and tells us why

SRGMP L'il Champs can boast of one thing: it is definitely REFRESHING. It sets a few new trends.

1. The judges actually focus on music and analyze each performance honestly
   


2. The guests till date haven't just walked in to add to the glamor quotient


3. There are no true favorites of the judges

1. No regional sympathy garnering...yet


2. The annoying "Time Please" instead of SRGMP's "Yudhviraam"


3. The amusing report card grades

A few things have still remained the same

1. Head's omnipresence - which is a good thing if you ask me
   


2. The name calling as in "Pune ke kaanchtor cricketer!" or "The poetess from Assam!"

The guests have been a refreshing change and there is no unnecessary chatoing going on during the show. Credit is given where due and the criticism is fair.

Last week featured an old and a new face. The original Item Diva Usha Uthup and the hatke superstar Aamir Khan. Usha was as energetic as ever and gave some good advice to the kids regarding singing and life in general. Aamir came to promote his directorial debut Taaren Zameen Par but I won't get into my "stars as guests promoting their movies" bashing because I've been a huge Aamir fan since his QSQT days.

Aamir was surprisingly down to earth unlike the snobbish image that is portrayed in the media. He was floored by his star fan Sonu Nigam and their mutual admiration was far fetched from the usual "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" scenario. Genuine exchanges like this makes this show worthwhile for me.

But what bothers me is Sonu - being the huge singing star that he is - results in less face time for Sureshji. I love to hear the good natured banter between Sureshji and the guests as well his fabulous critiques. I also want to see some Bs and B+s on the show instead of As and A+s being handed out like candy at Halloween. Unlike the bade bacches, its the chhutkus and chhutkis that are quite good at handling disappointments.

A few things to watch out for, with public voting starting. The sympathy factor and regionalism will likely be the trump cards the producers will start the SMS mania with. I am hoping the drama between Sonu and Sureshji will be limited - but hey, its reality TV, so expect a few things that will wow you and a few that will hit below the belt.

I haven't picked my favorites yet, but Aamir Hafiz is one kid to watch out for. And Anamika Chaudhury from Assam is another rising star. I am not sure about the already risen ones as they might fade away sooner that you expect.

Also:

• Public voting for kids? That's harsh! says Cinderella



• anu g agrees and admires Sonu's presence on the show



• Mind Rush asks for a Himesh ego-collection



• Bella is reminded of Aamir's hotness in Fanaa



• anju writes an eggcellent song

Himesh hi Himesh

This was a great week for Himesh fans like me.

First there was news that The House of Reshammiya rocked The Heineken Music Hall in Amsterdam on the 1st of this month (Thanks, Joules!). Thousands of Indians, Pakistanis, Moroccans (don't ask) and fans from all over the world gave out so much Himanshu-love that our man sang for three hours straight! Maybe someone mispelt Masochists as Moroccans - but enough such talk! Himanshu haters are roundly ignored on the Drift.

Now this reminds me of the time when I used to read Stardust during my teenage years and wonder "Wow! Our stars are really popular in America". Later I learned that it wasn't that Bollywood had grown in favor - it was just that the desi population abroad had exploded. But I digress.

Next up, Himesh's new look for Karzzz - check it out here (Thanks, HKD). The three extra zzzs in the title are to balance numerology. Now if the movie turns out to be a turkey, knives will be sharpened over the zzzs. But hey its Himanshu composing, singing, acting and in all likelihood dancing! What could possibly go wrong!

Also:

• Sidekick digs Himanshu's movie titles



• The new look reminds Payal of Emran Hashmi



• leera wants Himesh to win an award just so she can hear the acceptance speech



• SkD might be falling in like with Himesh



• anu g thinks the fans might go zzz



• minnie reports that the contestants on VoI Chhote Ustaad are much better



• Joules remembers owning Sonu's posters of Aamir and reviews Manorama: Six Feet Under



• Which left Ritha cold



• girlie girl cures her Himesh withdrawal



• Himesh makes headmistress' milky way go the wrong way



• What's not to love? asks HKD



• Saritha swoons over reminders of QSQT

Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 2: Bahu versus Babe

For a few weeks now JDJ has needed a shot in the arm - some palpable tension to make up for celebrities dancing feebly and passably. And the insertion of Prachi - say what you will about the politics - has given the show a much needed shot in the arm.

Last week Prachi played the "I'm not exposing myself" card - one of the oldest in the profession - and in doing so, partitioned the top two contestants along the lines of sexuality.

Clearly Sandhya Mridul is the better of the two dancers. But as probably shrewdly observed by Prachi, she is also open, aggressive and bluntly sexual in her dances. And by positioning herself as the goody Indian girl who will dance on her own orthodox terms - Prachi stands a good chance of alienating Sandhya from the conservative vote bank.

All of this Prachi did with one sentence: "I refuse to wear revealing outfits". This right after writhing on a table and being virtually licked by her choreographer partner - who for some reason dances with his mouth open constantly - reminding me of a goldfish.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. Its perfectly fine to not want to show cleavage (or thighage) and still do a mean Helen. But I'm just saying.

Sandhya - on the other hand - is very focussed on her dancing and keeps reminding us of that. Only the pressure, not to mention Prachi's continued popular presence, is annoying her enough that she talks about her rival constantly.

This cold war reached such a crescendo last week that the choice of the third finalist was coincidental to the show. Jay Bhanushali - that guy who always makes people laugh - although not quite how he intends, squeeked through at Negi's expense (more on that in another post). This makes one feel good for his partner Bindi - purveyor of highly entertaining and energetic whips, spins and jabs on the dance floor.

Speaking of Negi, let's talk about his dances - shall we?

First, Negi showed up as a server in a restaurant - twirling a round tray with such glee that given his unhappiness with the judges, it looked like he might be sending it in their direction. This performance got him some shakes of the head. But later he emerged to sing the Gujju classic "Ae to prem chhe", dressed in a glittering sleeveless yellow tunic and a green dhungi (dhoti meets lungi) and handing out whiffs to everyone of his freshly shaved underarms.

This joyous performance earned the exclamation "Sexy!" from guest Sharmila Tagore and resulted in a thrilled shoulder jiggle from Negi. Unfortunately, this would prove to be Negi's last competitive dance as in the elimation that followed, he was given the kiss-off.

But cometh the hour, cometh the man. And as the competition gets hotter, the entertainment here will come from a bahu and a babe.

Also:

• Mind Rush wouldn't mind analyzing the bahu and the babe
  



• anu g describes the bahu naatak on Indian news



• leera will miss Negiji and is getting creeped out by Jeetu



• Sidekick tells us why she is in Sandhya's corner



• Tania recalls that Mona Singh campaigned as her TV alter ego last year



• Joules shudders at memories of Mona dancing with a teddy bear



• More memories of Mona's "Jassi" campaign on JDJ from Saritha



• Spruha links to Shaimak Davar's views on SMS voting and his rising mastery of Hindi

The One Minute Therapist

Dear Drifters,

My overflowing Inbox must be a sign of the mental health crisis in Bollywood. Being the egalitarian analyzer that I am, I decided to divide up my therapy hour into slices. Each celeb crisis gets 60 seconds of my time...

As the Bard say: "Brevity is the soul of sanity."

I give you below my "Blink" responses to these beautiful people.

A(bsolutely) B(efuddled) said...
Dear Mind Rush,

I am a moderately successful Bollywood actor who is married to an actress much more famous than me. My mother is a beloved actress from yesteryear. To make things worse, my Dad is a Bollywood legend. Whenever I'm at a press junket, I get asked more questions about both of these than my own work.

I try to put on a brave composed face. But its hard to be calm when a pesky reporter says "You are promoting a movie?! Let's instead talk about those pissed friends who didn't get a wedding invite from you".

No matter how hard I work, I am overshadowed. Besides I'm not terribly hunky like that Ritwik, my dancing is a cross between Asrani and Yunus Parvez and I have bad taste in hair accessories. Help!

A(bsolutely) B(efuddled)

Dear AB,

Don't be a baby!
Tumhare paas bungla hai, daulat hai, car hai, biwi hai. Tumhare paas Maa bhi hai.

"Aish" karo!

-Mind Rush

S(hamed and) K(onfused) said...
Dear Mind Rush,

I am a terrifically personable actor with a short body and a big head. I used to date a hugely famous actress who was skittish but very loving.

Unfortunately Mummy didn't like her and my woman threw a fit and up and went - straight into the arms of a known casanova who has lately been hitting on anything in a skirt that moves.

This breaks me up inside. Especially now that our last movie about how we met has been acclaimed by everyone as a super love story.

How do I get over her when her face is splashed on hoardings around town and all my best songs remind me of her?

Dear S.K.,

Love is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get truffles sometimes you get nuts. Go get yourself some assorted "Go-diva" chocolates.
And one more thing! Love your mom, but leave her out of your bedroom.

-Mind Rush

S(vengali) K(icked out) said...
I have the original hot bod which I've made a career of showing off in my many films. While my 6 pack abs have enduring appeal, I haven't been quite as lucky with my lady loves – they seem to flee my arms with alarming regularity!

I've only recently got over the humiliating defection of the most beautiful face in the world with the help of a promising PYT whose career I helped nurture.

Now that my K(aptivating) K(atch) has tasted success, she too is throwing me over like an old shoe on the flimsy pretext that I'm too controlling, possessive and interfering.

Please help ---- I'm running out of chances to snare THE ONE!.

Dear SK,

Dude! In therapy jargon, you have what most professionals call "serious problems". Instead of looking for an LTR (long term relationship) you need to be looking for LTP (long term psychoanalysis.)

Please call me at 1-(800) MIND RUSH for an appointment ASAP.

-Mind Rush

S[eriously] R[estless] said...
Dear Mindrush,

I am a musician and unfortunately i am better looking than most people in my profession.

The problem I am facing is that I have too many females gaga over me.Not that I dont like it, but now today being my birthday, I cant even breathe peacefully.I am online the whole day doing absolutely nothing except checking my orkut scrap book which is being bombarded by crazy fans.

Please help!

S[eriously] R[estless]

Dear SRji,

Aap ne hamko bhi "restless" kar diya hai. I will see you in my clinic for free.

Autograph, please?

-Mind Rush

Disclaimer: Please don't mistake this for medical advice

Nach Baliye 3: Judges and Losers

Since I'm such a laggard and Mind Rush's terrific column is awaiting - I'll keep this short. Last week's Nach Baliye raised the interesting question: how strict should the judges be without crossing the line? And its a question that begs closer examination.

With the contestants on NB clearly raising their level with each passing week, the newly inserted jodi of Barkha and Indraniel stuck out like sore thumbs. On the first show two weeks ago, the judges dug into the newbies with relish. So on last week's show all eyes were on that particular train.

And bhais-ki-pooch if the two didn't come out and do a curiously amusing circus-like routine where Barkha got lifted and twirled around like a trapeze artist. It wasn't that they didn't try hard. Barkha looked all pumped up and ready to go and executed some promising moves. Her partner Indraniel on the other hand has a bit of a hangdog aura. And his laid back demeanor during the dance pissed Vaibhavi Merchant off no end.

So it was that the judges railed on Barkhaniel. And sent poor Barkha into the crying room. Funnily enough, although I felt terrible for the fresh jodi - imagine bombing after such hoopla - I felt that the judges handled it rather well. So how did they do it?

For one, no matter how much they pretend on screen, they tend to vote en masse. Its hard to tell if they compare notes during the performance because on NB more than any other show the camera stays focussed on the performers throughout. But this block voting seems to keep one judge from collecting all the bad vibes and sends consistent messages.

Second, Vaibhavi does a terrific job of explaining why she's marking people down. You don't always agree with her (especially in the case of Karan-Amita) but she isn't afraid to pull someone up and more importantly, does it clearly and concisely without any co-dependent beating around the bush.

In all of this Madhuri's presence was a winning one - I like how she goes for the drama in a hugely game fashion (Saritha's observation also on VoI). For her to take Vaibhavi on in the opening dance sequence was bold. Measured against Vaibhavi's wonderful compactness but somewhat over-rehearsed jhatkas, the duet showcased her unhurried grace.

Also:

• Why is it that all choreographers speak their mind? asks anu g



• Sidekick is impressed with Krushna



• Saritha decides that inserting a new jodi was a lousy idea



• Rakhi shows up and besiblings Aspi



• Like Saritha, Joules loved Govinda too



• Ritha is digging the music of Khoya Khoya Chand

Shabana Azmi to JDJ: Give me some lip!

Last week on JDJ, Shabana Azmi landed on the show with much fanfare. But she waved off the taalis and pooh-poohed the attention, soberly articulated her new movie and then went about handing out comments.

Now there is something about Shabana that even though she says something nice and encouraging, she makes everyone shake just a wee bit. And this time she pulled up several contestants for not lip synching properly while dancing. "Lip synching ka dhyaan rakkho!" she commanded. Contestants nodded vigorously before vanishing from her presence in nanoseconds.

Which led me to ask myself: why is lip synching important in a show about dance? Anyone remember Mika? The guy who didn't know what to do between dance steps? He was a half-ass lip syncher and I barely even noticed it. And while I'm on annoying contestants how about Jay Bhanushali? He lip synchs enthusiastically and look what it does for him? Nothing!

In fact, I find mouthing the lyrics to a song to be downright distracting when a couple is dancing. Case in point: Nach Baliye had a Kuchh Na Kaho theme where everyone had to dance to music without lyrics. And I found that the dancers had to work much harder to convey the emotion but it looked a whole lot better.

I suppose you could argue that this isn't just dance - this is Bollywood dance and lip synching is an essential dance technique in this industry. To which I say: so is being able to act but look how many star kids and super models (isn't anyone just a model these days?) daze their way through movies these days.

Also:

• Harsh & Raw asks: what is it with those eyebrows?



• leera notes the importance of lip synching and remembers Saroj Khan stressing it on NB2



• Filmi Geek notes that the eyebrows are part of the whole magnificent package



• anu g recalls Shabana pulling Sandhya up for panting and talks about her potrayal of a Tamil Mami



• Shabana is an artist, not a Page 3 celeb says Mind Rush



• Botox? queries Sidekick, Jeetu's face didn't move much anyway



• Lata P dishes the rumors on face lifts, botox and too much drinking



• Joules remembers a Shabana play and links to a Himesh marathon

Mission Ustaad: Arre, Kya Funda Hai Yaar????

Sidekick checks out a promising new show

In the crowded landscape of reality music shows this seemed hatke and I was curious enough to check it out. Okay, I’ll come clean and admit that with the “bitter half” away on a long business trip and faced with a cold snowy evening in Boston, adrak chai and reality TV were my refuge - a lemming-like quest, given that I’ve been lamenting on how reality TV has been eating into my movie time.

Anyway, the idea seemed both lofty and unique and of course that was enough of a hook. With idealistic calls to action from Aamir Khan, Sachin Tendulkar and Rahul Dravid, four pairs of top drawer singers, India’s most celebrated music composer in Rahman, the witty and eloquent lyricist par excellence Javed Akhtar and the glamorous and articulate Lara Dutta ----- a surefire recipe for quality infotainment surely?

It was up to a point ---- which I’ll get to eventually. But before that, the show itself ---- definitely a classy set-up. The set was swish and aesthetic - a far cry from the tacky SRGMP one. Simone Singh, the host was a polished, lovely vision in what is now the ubiquitous style statement of the season - the anarkali kurta-churidar ensemble. The singers (Naresh Iyer - Shveta Pandit, Mohit Chauhan - Vasundhara Das, Sonali Rathod - Roop Kumar Rathod and Kailash Kher - Mahalakshmi Iyer) came, vaguely bandied about the broadest generalities of the UN Millennium Development Goals, sang divinely and conquered.

At the end of each pair’s performance Simone deferred to the music guru himself and asked Rahman about his thoughts. For instance, “Naresh is your discovery, how do you see his evolution to this point?” she queried. “Umm, this is a difficult mission for both singers and judges; there is much responsibility on us” Rahman dithered. “I expect something extraordinary”. Undeterred Simone gamely tried again, “Mohit delivered a brilliant rendition of Khoon Chala in your very own Rang De Basanti; your thoughts on his presence here, Rahman Saab?” Rahman took another stab at it, “ for all of us this is a chance to take it to another level, to break free of our blinkers and think out of the box. I expect something extraordinary”.

By the time we got to the last couple of Kher and Iyer, the now wary Simone looked pleadingly at Rahman for his reaction, as if to say “dude, throw me a bone here; get with the program”! Unmoved Rahman said “Of course, I expect something extraordinary” and neatly tossed it to Judge Javed.

I admire Rahman greatly, love his music and firmly believe he is India’s true cross-over star – move over Aishwarya Rai Bachchan! – but a more inarticulate soul I’ve yet to see. Those of you who abhor Shiamak Dawar for his angrezi love and atrocious hindi, may have a bone to pick with Rahman. While everyone else spoke Hindi or Hinglish, Rahman refused to step out of his comfort zone (such as it is!) of English.

Luckily the voluble and eloquent Judge Javed (JJ) sparkled ---- and not just in one of his patented kurtas that Aspi adores, but in the way he trotted out inspiring comments and rah rah encouragement to all of the singer jodis as if to make up for the lack of firepower from Rahman. Until the upstart Kailash Kher overstepped his bounds and dared to usurp JJ’s role of bombaster extraordinaire. “I’ll have to unchain my wallet to buy a Hindi dictionary and then perhaps I can try to understand Kailash’s sentiments”, JJ ribbed mercilessly. Our bombastic upstart squirmed having been put firmly in his place while his partner Mahalakshmi Iyer cheered JJ lustily. I rubbed my hands in gleeful anticipation of more JJ-upstart jhagdas ---- they seem ripe to be plucked off Mission Ustaad’s gleaming dais.

The lovely Lara played her role as UN representative with poise and ease. I haven’t had many chances to see much of her to this point, but she thoroughly impressed me. First off, the lovely long fuchsia evening dress set off her obvious Miss Universe aura. But beyond that she seemed anything but a beauteous bimbette. There were no unnecessary giggles, no gratuitous chaatoing --- she was clear and coherent and full of dignified grace. At this point it is obligatory to offer some phaltu drift advice (what’s a column on Aspi’s Drift without it!): Rahman saar, please requisition JJ to write you some dialog and use Lara’s services as a dialog coach to put us out of our misery.

So, what’s not to like? Well, I expected to say in awe, “arre kya funda hai, yaar!” and I did by the end of the show - just not in awe but in bewilderment as I was scratching my head. Either I’m thick or I just glazed over as they explained but I just don’t get how the lofty ideal is to work.

The way I understand it, the singers are to rework their popular songs and/or sing special new compositions that create awareness and a commitment in the aam janta to UN Millennium Development Goals. Huh? But the singers (however extraordinary to use Rahmanese) are but mere instruments in the hands of powerful composers and writers, the ustaads among whom are playing judge and jury. Shouldn’t Rahman, JJ and their ustaad ilk be the participants if this mission is truly to resonate with the public?

There is however enough intrigue here ---- and a preview of Rahman singing my fave “Yeh jo desh hai mera” from Swades--- to keep me hooked for another week. Beyond that I can’t say – stay tuned.

Also:

• Meena is still foggy on the premise but has begun to dig Lara lately



• leera wonders if MU can balance entertainment with social consciousness effectively



• Joules compares Rehman's social dexterity with that of Abdul Kalam's



• anu g feels MU has been under publicized in India



• Mind Rush says you can't compare Rahman's problems with Hindi to Shiamak's



• anu g chronicles Rahman's kushti with Hindi and a show called Cinestar Ki Khoj
  



• Saritha prefers "Mindblowing" to anything Shiamak might say in Hindi



• Meena proposes a dream team of judges: who'd be in it? Javed Akhtar, Ram Gopal Varma and Subhash Ghai for starters

Aaja Nachle: The Review

Sania sees Madhuri dance back on the screens on opening weekend

I saw Aaja Nachle last weekend, but it's hard to succinctly say how I feel, possibly because I'm not quite sure. But I'll offer some disjointed thoughts nonetheless..

The film, much like most Bollywood fare nowadays, requires a healthy suspension of disbelief on part of the viewer. Not that's necessarily a bad thing in and of itself. Some of my favorite Bollywood movies ever are built on fantasy - it's what adds to the charm.

My main problems with the film lay with the construction of the story. It's a classic tale of an NRI who comes back to India, bringing culture and sanksriti back to the town. Nothing new or exciting.

But the screenplay didn't really explore any of the threads it started - whether it be Dia's (Madhuri) old love interest, Dia's potential new love interest, Dia's family, her relationship with the estranged townspeople, or even what happens after she succeeds with her challenge.

Everything was resolved without protracted examination, and was tied nicely with a big red bow. The movie wasn't super emotional, the relationships that were shown were a bit shallow - mere cardboard cutouts.

But Madhuri is a delight to watch. She's very self assured and you almost feel as though she walked into the sets of the movie like she owns the place.

In the presence of anyone else, this movie would have fallen flat on its face. But you feel satisfied even after leaving the theater because your adrenaline is pumping after having seen her dance, and smile and offer encouragement to others. It's almost as if she's patting you on the head and saying it'll be okay, there can still be glimmers of joy in Bollywood.

Akshaye Khana is cute and it was nice to see him on screen again. Kunal - smoking hot. Konkona did great in the acting department, but her role was very much a caricature.

The Laila Majnu tale at the end of the film is lovely and riveting - you could hear a pin drop in the theater while it was going on (except for the jaanwar baccha munching popcorn behind me - a story for another time).

Even though you're not quite convinced about the struggle in the movie, the first 15 minutes and last 30 minutes make it all paisa vasool. Stay through the end of the credits for some cute vignettes.

Also:

• Mind Rush's take on the lyrics controversy



• Sidekick loved the title dance and compares the choreography of Saroj Khan with Vaibhavi



• Joules doesn't want to be tormented by kids doing Madhuri's dances
  



• Saritha remembers the Madhuri dance craze and thinks Vaibhavi has done ok



• Sidekick's review

Aaja Nachle and the lyrics controversy: To ban or not to ban?

Mind Rush takes a closer look at the Aaja Nachle lyrics controversy and asks "Ban ya Boycott?"

My brother was a huge, and I mean HUGE, Madhuri Dixit fan in his younger days. So while I thought she was passably cute, I was planning to see her comeback film for the sake of my brother.

Then the controversy over the lyrics hit. I tried to figure out first hand what the offending lyrics were. I soon realized that every major desi newspaper, while covering this issue, refused to actually print the offending lyrics. It took some online sleuthing to find them.

Ki sone mein usko ranga gai
Mein ranga ke atariya pe aa gai

Mohale mein kaise mara mar hai
Bole mochi bhi khud ko sonar hai
Sab ko nacha ke nachle
Aaaja nach le nach le mere yaar tu nach le
Jhanak jhanak jhankar

First off, what were the lyricists thinking? Clearly, this song puts down a whole community, and one that has been historically oppressed in Indian society. That this film was cleared by the Censor Board and various other bean-counting folks tells you how insensitive the "haves" and the privileged people are. The ban had an interesting effect. Various stakeholders of the film came out of the woodwork to apologize and also delete the offending lyrics. The usual excuse of "We didn't mean it that way..." was offered.

But the ban left me wondering. Should the government ban a film that offends many people? (This ban has now been lifted in some states.) Is this an example of hate speech calculated to oppress and hurt Dalits? Or an example of thoughtless insensitivity? Or should we even care about intention if the effect is the same.

Would it not be better for the offended groups to organize a boycott of the film, thus giving the power to the "aam janta"? Mostly, should we give the government power to step in and decide what is too offensive for our eyes and ears and minds? Can a group of individuals decide what an entire society should or should not be protected from?

Maybe some of you reading this can't relate and are rolling your eyes. Before you think this controversy and thus this blog post are a tempest in a teacup, let me also pose this question: What if you were a Dalit and then heard these lyrics? What if you had lived your life hearing caste-based insults hurled at you? What if you struggled each day to be treated with dignity? Would you still feel the same way about the ban?

I invite you to share your (thoughtful) reflections and comments.

Also:

• The five reasons Amrita says BS to the hoopla



• Saritha says it makes no sense to raise this ban now



• anu g strives to make caste a non-issue



• Joules would much rather trust the collective than the government



• Meena considers the question: is this hate speech?



• Indian feels overwhelmed by the last para in the post and asks: who is best to take a stand for everyone - a billion people, an NGO, a financial institute or a student body?
  



• Tania plays Devil's Advocate for debate's sake and imagines the Mochi experience at the theater



• freud_reader has advice for anger management



• "Mochis" deserve better from their leaders than the banning of a Madhuri movie, says Leera



• Prejudice is implicit and unconscious says Sidekick in her take on the controversy
  

Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 2: Discordant Dancing

This week on JDJ, Mir Ranjan Negi - that unending stream of entertainment - lost his way. He did two Amitabh Bachchan dances. Now this might sound like a good idea - associating with a senior Bollywood actor would make people aware of your seniority plus you only have to learn one or two nukkad dancing steps. But this strategy backfired badly on the Mir. It not only sucked out the energy from his usually madcap performances, but forced his lovely and talented partner to under-dance.

Fortunately, public ne unko bacha diya. And for that, I'm grateful to the public (especially those who finally stopped sending their SMSs to Negi and sent it to the right shortcode instead).

Luckily, some juicy bitching ensued on the show, resulting in much compensatory entertainment. It's no secret that the wild card insertion of Prachi through some influence management has split the JDJ contestants into two camps. The anti-Prachi camp reportedly led by Sonali (tied for master whiner along with Jay Bhanushali) and Sandhya Mridul (fast becoming the item dance muffin on the show).

Prachi's performances have been appropriately split - she is a pretty decent dancer but her overall performances seem to vary greatly between average and excellent. Of course, there is the added pressure of exiting again ignominiously after all the fuss. And so when the results are announced or heck even before the scores are handed out, everyone seems to tense up a little more than you'd expect.

There were enjoyable sleazy moments - and I'm not even counting Sandhya Mridul's writhing in "Mast Mahol". First, Jay Bhanushali did two dances - one was a Jeetu classic with Sridevi and then a Govinda special. And because he is such a stiff dancer, he did a terrific Jeetu.

But after the second one, before anyone could really even ask, he volunteered an encore and proceeded to hug a stripper's pole dressed up like Superman. Thousands of darshaks now will not eat chocolate, read Superman comics or have appetite for sex for weeks.

Later yet, Prachi invited Dino Morea for a dance. And much to everyone's surprise Dino Morea ignored the invitation and instead started stripping. Fortunately this ended at the third button of his shirt as Dino - probably sick at all the attention his female costars were getting - tried hard to flaunt his own hotness.

This week resulted in the exit of Sonali "I'm the biggest celebrity here" Kulkarni. Having raised everyone's hackles with her constant complaining, she proceeded to give a very gracious elimination speech, apologizing to her choreographer Tobby for letting him down.

This new configuration of remaining contestants makes the Prachi camp three units strong leaving Sandhya Mridul in a lonely corner. While Sandhya is a good dancer, her partner Javed is a terrific one and has saved her often via many energetic and eye-catching performances.

The contest now looks like a Prachi vs Sandhya duel - which saddens me because it means Negi is only a chand hapto ka mehmaan. Sob!

Also:

• anu g thinks Ekta will win this show, demystifies the Dia-Jeetu controversy and predicts Prachi will top next week
  



• Joules believes Prachi's sweet, humble show personae will result in a win and talks about falling in love with "Love Story" on Sony



• SkD hates all Sony dramas
  



• leera was captivated by Shabana's presence



• Saritha ponders on who she would like to see go next and a few other things



• Sidekick wonders why Dia is so popular on the reality show circuit



• anu g explains why



• As does Saritha



• Joules joins in



• Mind Rush joins the Shabana coalition and notes Shiamak's fondness for Mum



• Hey, Filmi Geek has an entire Shabana site