Monday, January 14, 2008

Which Bollywood character would you like to play?

A long time ago Beth had done a post in which she responded to a tag about which movie characters should have their own blogs. This had triggered an idea for a similar post about which character I'd like to play most in a film. But I sat on it till Amrita recently reminded me of Amitabh Bachchan's Lawaaris in a recent comment.

Why Lawaaris? Let me explain.

I'm a huge fan of stereotypical 60s and 70s Bollywood constructs. For example, how about the song situation in which only the singer and perhaps one or two other characters in a mehfil know what the song is about. In which the rest of the other highly intelligent people just aren't paying attention to the lyrics. Does the title song of Amar Akbar Anthony ring a bell? Yes, that kind of song.

Another construct goes something like this: you often have a situation in which the director has covered a lot of emotional or narrative ground and wants to summarize for the audience. Perfect situation for a song, but wait, the characters aren't ready to sing the lyrics just yet. So you employ a sequence in which someone (like a nukkad kalakar or a fakir) shows up in the neighborhood and sings your thoughts for you.

Zanjeer contains a joyous example of this in which two street performers verbalize what Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bhaduri are feeling, while the two actors quietly exchange meaningful glances.

And Lawaaris contains the mother of such sequences. In the movie Amitabh's hapless character, Heera, whose story begins at childhood, just can't catch a break. He's an illegitimate child, his father is Gabbar Singh and he's adopted by an abusive drunk father who won't feed him. All he has is a galli ka kutta for company. And whenever he's feeling down in the dumps, out pops this fakir singing a raundu song for the ages called "Jiska koi nahin".



Now if Prakash Mehra were to come to me with a film offer and say "Beta Aspi, play any role you'd like in my movie", I'd respond by saying: "Prakashji, forget dancing herogiri, forget action herogiri, forget romantic herogiri, forget Shatrughan Sinha-type herogiri, forget playing John Abraham even though he always has Bips wrapped around him."

"Just make me a fakir in your flick", I'd beg him "Because like a khota rupaiya, he'll show up everywhere and no one could get rid of him. Even if you were to nuke the guy, he'd still be in the next frame following some sankat."

Good choice, no? So, what character would you like to play?

Also:

50 comments:

ritha said...

very interesting question...i'd like to be alisha's character in ishq vishq...the college bomb with a golden heart.heh heh so wht if its
far removed from my reality as possible...who said these had to be plausible fantasies? :P

Joules said...

Aspi, fun topic.

Like you I am a fan of the 70's cheesy movies and I personally believe female lead characters in those movies were far advanced than the ones protrayed in current bollywood. Give me a Parveen Babi of Zanjeer, Zeenat Aman of Dostana, Rakhi of Bemisaal even a Helen of Don, anyday.

I also would love to do Sharmila or Babita kind of roles where they would always have a scene on the ski slope with the actors wearing the most ridiculous ski outfit.

In current days, dont care what my role in the movie is as long as it puts me in close proximity with John Abraham.

girlie girl said...

I agree Joules, I'll be the Bipasha who's got her arms wrapped around John Abraham at all times! But otherwise, I would love to do any of Aruna Irani's characters...she was a total badass!!

Aspi said...

ritha, I must agree that is a standout character. I just saw Ishq Vishk and need to write about it - had never seen Shahid in a movie before.

Joules, that ski outfit comment is hilarious and brought back memories of Rajesh and Jeetu prancing around in the snow. Also why is it that in such scenes the men are bundled up in layers and the women have to sashay in thin strap blouses?

girlie girl, I'm assuming you are NOT referring to Aruna Irani's long and fruitful career in Gujju films where she spent a lot of time line maroing the likes of Naresh Kanodia and Kiran Kumar.

Mind Rush said...

I am going with 4 choices:
Oldie Female character: Shabana Azmi in Parvarish.
Oldie Male: Rajesh Khanna in any film, esp with his nodding head.
New Female character: Bips as glam cop Shonali Bose in Dhoom 2 (not ditzy Monali, please.)
New male character: SRK in Swades.

Shekher ki Diwani said...

I would like to Play Bela Bose !

Saritha said...

Now that's an interesting topic.I watched Mira Nair's 'Namesake' y'day and we were discussing the directors we would love to work with,if we ever get a chance.Funny that you are on the same page,Aspi.

I would love to play Gul Panag's role in Nagesh Kukunoor's'Dor'.

Any role from 'Dil Chahta hai'-esp Subodh,Sonali Kulkarni's boyfriend.That was hilarious and making someone laugh is not easy.

Aspi said...

Mind Rush, yes! Bipasha for President! Tremendous campy, durga power will ensue.

SkD, I can't remember Bela Bose.

Saritha, good to have you back!

Amrita said...

Fakir Aspi - HA :D foes your golden voice restore sight? Maybe I could save some money on Lasik?

Hmmm, what character would I like to play? This will take deep thought.

Bella said...

i'd like to play Aish's role in Dhoom 2, it was a crap role, but atleast i get to roomance Hrithik Roshan, and i will make sure that they DON'T cut the kiss scene out.

LOL

on a serious note, Kajol character in Fanaa, coz then i can romance Aamir Khan, he looked too hot in that movie.

Yajnaseni said...

I would love to play some of Jaya Bhaduri's roles: like the ones in Abhimaan, Zanjeer, Anamika, or even Guddi. I've always been a fan of the glance-that-can-say-a-thousand-words types of roles.

On a different note, and having visited the Drift after a longish hiatus, one was expecting a review of TZP. Haven't any of the regulars here watched said movie yet? I did, and allowed myself to be manipulated into shedding buckets full of tears.

Daddy's Girl said...

Hema Malini's roles in 'Naseeb' or 'Seeta aur Geeta', because I think she rocked in both movies and had a blast doing them. Or Madhuri's role in 'Hum Aapke Hain Koun' because she's so spirited and fun and dances amazingly.

Daddy's Girl said...

And great choice with the fakir from 'Laawaris' - I love 'Jiska Koi Nahin'.

Joules said...

So, any guesses on who Anu g and Megan would pick? My guess for Anu g is any of Shabana's roles and for Megan ofcourse Ash from Dhoom2 or Ash from HDDCS or Ash from Devdas....

Aspi said...

Bella, you must really like Ritwick a lot.

Yajnaseni, I haven't seen TZP yet but anyone here would do a kick ass review and is most welcome to do one for us.

Daddy's Girl, welcome. Hema was terrific in Seeta Aur Geeta.

Joules, my guess is Megan would pick Ash's role in Jodha Akbar even before the movie is out. And anu g might pick something by Madhuri or Kajol.

girlie girl said...

I think Megan would pick any actress that has worked closely with Shekhar!!

ritha said...

Bappi's fashion muse - Elvis :
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Entertainment/Bappi_on_a_comeback_trail/articleshow/2702412.cms

Aspi said...

Ritha, brilliant link. I need to do a post on this!

Beth said...

Mind Rush - great call on Parvarish! I love that movie!

As for me...this was very hard for about ten minutes and then all of a sudden it came to me in a flash: I want to be Babli. Hands down. It is a great role with a great cast with great songs. Surely Babli is one of the most fun female roles in Bollywood!

Plus, you know, Abhishek.

Joules said...

I have to say Hrithik is looking scrumptious in the Jodha-Akbar promos and stills. Now I cant wait to watch that movie.

sidekick said...

G8 idea for a post, Aspi. The fakir is as close to the proverbial fly on the wall as possible. Sorts of brings to mind the ubiquitous "Ramu Kaka" who was always the sympathetic bearer of bad tidings --- the one messenger who never got shot! Wonder when Ramu Kaka fell out of favor with the writers.

I'd love to play any of the roles the 40s-50s singing stars like Noorjehan or Suraiya did. Anything where in a black and white movie i could get away with bad acting, thrill with strong singing and mesmerize with mysterious and gorgeous looks! ritha, love these delish fantasies :)

it was fun reading abt all the characters drifters want to play. anu g, i think u shd pick one of mallika sherawat's roles if only to spite aspi, joules and the folks who think they know you oh-so-well ;)

Aspi said...

Beth, I haven't seen B&B but the Drift Memsaab considers it a source of pride for her types and insists I see it soon.

Sidekick, good one! Watching old movies reminds me of sitting next to Mom and watching reruns on Doordarshan - in fact I still watch anything in B&W on TV.

Mind Rush said...

Beth, love your Babli idea! Very cool choice!

Beth said...

Thanks! Now if we could just get SeƱor Drift to watch it....

Bella said...

yeah Aspi, i am crazy abt Hrithik. There is something so intense about him, when he looks at you with those green eyes *sigh*

Joules, i agree with you, he does look yummy in his new movie

girlie girl said...

Aspi, you have to watch B&B...it's one of few Yash Raj films that aren't predicable in the first 10 mins!! Plus, the subtle comedy is priceless!!

Joules said...

Also the ending of B&B is non YRF filmy. Aaaah, Shaad Ali had so much promise, B&B after Saathiya. Then he goes and makes Jhoom Barabar Jhoom.

I just wish they did'nt have the song Nach Baliye. The shorts on Rani weren't very flattering and the sleeveless vest on Abhishek focussed on his skinny arms.

Here's the utube
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-wA8GX3Vuw

girlie girl said...

That was a terrible song...i remember watching the movie and in the beginning i said to someone "Rani looks like she's lost a lot of weight!" cut-to me watching Nach Baliye!!

ritha said...

I totally agree with joules & girlie girl...the word 'vulgar' came to my mouth when i saw the video. Also less said abt shiamak's choreography, the better. I guess he can do well for fusion numbers but i think his bolly dances are severely monotonous and look like aerobic exercises...any charming steps are merely flashes in the pan!

Aspi said...

Shiamak's choreography might be too rooted in Western style macho posturing. But all I learnt about dance was from JDJ and NB so I'm not the authority here.

anu g said...

Joules, Aspi and Sidekick, I was busy for a few days, and I return to find myself being discussed peet-peechey:).
Joules,bracketing me and Megan together???She is a sweet-16, and I passed that ages ago.
I dont think I have ever wished to be on screen. But Shabana was never my favourite (more so now when she has those inverted v eyebrows.
Aspi,sigh, i didnt realise I was so predictable, but yes Kajol is my favourite actress. From the earlier lot, it was Rekha I think.
Sidekick, as they would say in Tamil 'yenna,kindalaa?'....Me and Mallika!!Cmon, I know my wicked alter-ego surfaces on the drift but it would never go that far:).Btw, when I mentioned Rekha, i meant the Rekha of the 'Khubsurat' and 'Silsila' times. Not the Rekha of the present as in the Moulin Rouge song of Parineeta.
Aspi, since award ceremonies r being announcedalmost every week, how about the Drift Awards-2007! Maybe for the telly!That would be fun, and I am sure the drift will becoem active again.

Joules said...

Anu g, I was'nt bracketing you two. It was just that you two were the one's from the regulars' that had'nt responded, hence the fun guessing game.

Welcome back, and Rekha is a great choice. I love her hair and would love to know her hair care regimen.

sidekick said...

anu g, naan kindal pannuvena? i think its entirely appropriate for u to want to do an uber glam, modern, bindaas mallika character. i think u'd do it with aplomb :)

joules, one comeback fm anu g and u backed off? tut, tut ;)

sidekick said...

aspi, thats a great idea fm anu g. apart fm the regular ones, we could add a few quirky drift categories like: SRGMP award for tacky sets, Bleeng bleeng da award for most flashy costume, yada yada....

Joules said...

What can I say, I know better than to be on anu g's bad side. I remember Rekha of Khoon Bhari Maang :)

girlie girl said...

Anu g, good call on clearifying which Rekha, cause i dont think ANYONE wnats to be the 'modern-day' Rekha...especially with movies like "bachke rehna re baba" and that horrific Parineeta song!! Mind-Rush, I think you need to do a love-charka style advice column for the new-age Rekha!!

Aspi, I think a drift award show is a great idea!!

Saritha said...

anu,aapne meri muh ki baat cheen li (ok,I am not sure if that's how you say it)

'Drift Awards' is a brilliant idea.Besides giving away the awards to the best/worst shows on tv,we can also nominate Aspi's best caps(which is going to be very difficult,I know,but lot of fun)

Sidekick,you are in a mischievous mood...hmmm what's up? ;)

SkD said...

WTF?Who is this new SKD?an imposter eh?Guys, i have just returned from my trip to india....and who the f*** is bela bose???LMAO!Someone is posin as me...i would love to play anythin by smitha patil and rekha.

Aspi said...

anu g, all this means is we know you so well now :)

BTW is it just me or is Rekha looking rather um, tarty these days?

Also about those awards, brilliant idea. I'm not sure I can pull that off by myself. But I will try. If you have any you'd like to give out, leave them somewhere in the comments section and I will compile.

Aspi said...

SkD, welcome back! You need a google id or OpenID to make sure noone impersonates you!

anu g said...

Sidekick, I dont know whether to take ur comments[appropriate(?) for me to act as an uber-glam Mallika?]as a compliment or a teaser.Sigh!Kya zamaana aa gaya hai. Buzurgon ko aajkal log chiddathe hain. I feel like the baghbaan mom:).
Saritha, thanks for the support.
Aspi, of course u r absolutely right, rekha is certainly looking terrible these days. thats why I made it a point to clarify that I was talking about rekha in her heydeys!I watched her at an awards ceremony a couple of years ago. Not only does she dress horribly, she also tries to act like a giggly teenager, and its an awful sight.
I wonder why she cant behave like her peers Hema Malini and Sharmila Tagore who have aged so gracefully.

anu g in mourning said...

Et tu Joules......I havent seen rekha in Khoon Bhari Maang. But if she looks soemthing like what Phoolan Devi looked (or Ekta Kapoor), then I am again mourning. Maine aap sab ka kya bigaada hai ki aap sab mere peeche aise pade hain. I used to consider myself as the revered peaceloving mother-figure of the drift, and now I find I am being a target.Sigh!

sidekick said...

saritha, i've just missed goofing around with the drift janta - esp. anu g :) ---- i'm making up for lost time!

anu g: i defi meant that as a compliment not ched chaad. in the current time when age is just a number and the baghban mom is more glam and gorgeous than those 30 years her junior (like her own own daughter), there are simply no limits to who and what one can be :)

anu g said...

Sidekick, thanks for the clarification! Well, I guess, after playing the responsible 'manni' for a month in india, u want to just loosen up.So go ahead!

Joules said...

Speaking of Rekha. Is she married now? I was looking at this picture and she has sindoor in her part.

http://www.indiafm.com/stills/partiesnevents/Rekha,_Adnan_Sami_and_Sonu_Nigam_at_Rahul_Sharma_and_Barkha_Patel's_wedding/still28260.html

anu g said...

No Joules, I dont think she has married again.I think she read our comments on the drift, and decided to go in for a change in image and look her age:).

sidekick said...

anu g, funnily my first thought when i saw that pic was that rekha was thumbing her nose at all of us for dissing her appearance with her absolutely gorgeous, very classic look.

Joules said...

So has sindoor become a fashion statement now. I guess after all those bahus on tele serials the bahu look is in.

Indy said...

Personally, I would play Amitabh from Sholay:

http://interval.in/videos.php?id=1493

Interval.in - Watch Bollywood online

Anonymous said...

kapil and anjali from nach baliye 4 are possible the gavaar-est gavaars i have ever seen, what is it with kapil's swollen-pakora-stuck-in-my-face look???

HATE THEM!