Thursday, February 14, 2008

Rakhi Abhishek: jodi judai jodi

They always tell you: its hard for couples to survive traumatic events. Like buying a house. Or teaching one of the other how to drive. Or losing a dance contest.

Earlier this week Rakhi Sawant reportedly had a huge jhagda with Abhishek and asked him to move out of her apartment.

No one deserves this kind of heartbreak on Valentine's day and it turns out anu g caught the breaking news on TV in which Abhishek fought tooth and nail to win back his Baliye.

Rakhi and Abhishek patched up on national television, and most news channels have decided that this news takes priority over every other event happening in the country.

The show went on something like this (it went on much longer, but I was laughing so much that i dont remember everything):


Abhishek going to Rakhi's house with a big bouquet of red roses.
Abhishek on his knees: Rakhi, I am sorry.I love u. Will you be my valentine?

Rakhi's bodyguard steps in.

Machoman Abishek pushes him away: Tum hum donon ke beech main mat aao!
Rakhi, bemused (in Hindi): What r u doing here? And why r u here with cameras?
Abhishek, who insists on speaking in English: I want to show the world how much i love you. You means everything to me
Rakhi, enraged goes whack, whack, whack....3 thappads on Abhishek's head (channels repeat the scene 3 times for effect).

Abhishek, head bent down like a child caught playing truant: I know, but I really love blah blah

Rakhi: Why did you behave like that? Why did you keep telling me not to go to a party, not to wear shorts. (Aha! So THAT was the reason, After NB3, Abhishek realized he came across as a wimp and yes boy, and so decided to change his image into a macho he-man).

Abhishek: I know. I will never argue with you henceforth. I am very sorry (Looking at somebody near the camera) Hey teddy beer le aao

Rakhi: Now whom have you brought? Do you know main tumhe har jagah lekar gayi. Maine kuch ameer-gareeb nahin dekha. Maine apni maa se jhagda karke tumhe rakha (sorry, i dont remember the exact word she used). And why did u go to the media crying? I was the one who was crying

Abhishek: Because I wanted the world to know that Abhishekh really loves you.


Abhishek and Rakhi sitting on a sofa together, Abhishek clutching Rakhi's hand, swamped by the teddy beer and the bouquet, being interviewed by a correspondent:

Correspondent: So you both have patched up on Valentines Day. What happened?
Rakhi to Abhishek: Aye, haat chod na
Abhishek, like a true filmi hero: Yeh, haat ab hum kabhi nahin chodenge
Correspondent: So you were crying, and now you are happy
Rakhi: I never cried.I have decided that I will not cry at all in 2008. (Realizing that she'd lose dramatic ground) par mera dil roya. But I must tell you, once it came in the media that Abhishek had left me, almost 1000 boys rang me up, proposing to me.
Correspondent (gleefully): So Abhishek, what do u say?
Abhishek: I am going to change her phone number
Correspondent: Oh, so you have become possessive?
Abhishek: Of course, I am a male
Rakhi: But why did you torture me, saying I should not go to a party
Abhishek, immediately getting the cue, gives Rakhi a corny look: Shall we go for a party tonight?
Correspondent: So what are your plans for today?
Abhishek: During the day, we will talk and I will make up for the 2 days I was away, and in the evening...pause (That corny look again)...pause....(then suddenly realizing it was national television): we will go for a party!

End of show...
And they will live happily ever after...until they decide that they need some more publicity!

Sania finds the clip on YouTube


Anonymous said...

ROFL....the whole clip is just a looping of how rakhi slapped the fellow!

Unknown said...

Rakhibehen, I hope you are happy now. Aakhir aisa baliye tumhe mila jisko tum itna hi yuj kar sako jitna ke woh aapko. Badhai ho!

Agar Abhishek ne aur naatak kiya to rona band karo aur kissi aur ko dhoondo.

Suna hai Shahid Kapur aaj kal availibil hai.

Gora-shora hai. Dikhne mein bura nahin. Nach bhi kar leta hai. Net ke neeche khade rahoge to rebound ki avashyakta hai.

Anonymous said...

Oh, what a surprise to watch my comments as a post:)!Thanks. Though if I'd known, Id have been more careful about my language and grammar!But of course the credit actually goes to Rakhi for managing to make news so entertaining that it doenst require any garnishing to make it look attractive.
Aspi, u deserve the 'best bhaiyya' award.....What support to Rakhi!
Btw, I caught the news on tv at night, and found that Abhishekh had gone with the whole media team to a shop to buy gifts....a bouquet, a teddy bier as big as him, a huge 'I am sorry' card, and a heart shaped red balloon(like the Dil Chahta guy).
And one famous news channel who said they disapproved of such news being considered news, had a 30 minute capsule on how it was publicised. And they kept showing the clippings also:).Lol!

Anonymous said...

Aspi bhaiyya, mujhe kuch confess karna hai.Kuch din pehle main aapse Rakhiben ke naam se baat kar rahi thi, woh actually aapki Rakhiben nahin thi. Woh main thi, jo uski nakal kar rahi thi.Main tho uski saheli hoon.Aapke pyaar ko dekh kar, mujhe to rona aagaya.Main to aakhon se ro rahi hoon kyunki maine kuch vaada nahin kiya. Main ab asli Rakhi ko reply dene ko kahoongi.
Aur haan, Rakhi to ab Abhishekh ke saath hai, tho mujhe Shahid se introdooce karaadeejiye naa!

Unknown said...

rakhiben ki saheli, Shahid ladki ke photo, bio, details vagera ke bina table pe nahi aata.

Meri behen ka bio to TV khol ke kissi bhi waqt mil sakta hai. Lekin tum ho kaun or kaisi? Yeh jaan lene ke bina mein Shahid ko force nahi kar sakta.

Maaf karna, lekin samajhne ki koshis karo. Shahid hain najuk stithee mein. Agar door se gulab ka gota lekin paas se sandhaas ka lota ho gaya to usko bahut thes pahoochegi.

Anonymous said...

Aspiji, aapne mujhe itni gaali dee, mujhe lota kaha, mere dil ko bahut thes pahuncha.Maine aapko bhaiyya kaha, aur aap itnee beizzathi se pesh aa rahe hain..Main aise hi rakhi ki saheli nahin banee!Main yahaa se walkout kar rahi hoon.Bye!

Unknown said...

rakhiben ki saheli,

itni si baat ko
dil mein rakh ke yaar to
aise na hoiye khafaa

Chhod gam muskura
Hain samaa haseen bada
Baat kar le tu rafa dafa

That's from a rather terrific song I've been listening to all day. I'll review the CD soon - just for you. Come back! My comments were just conjecture.

Anonymous said...



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ppl said...

Love it. Better than the britney-paris-lindsey dramas.

Anonymous said...

Loving this post, Anu, Drift and Sania...Thanks!

If this were Hollywood or Goa, the police would have had excess time on their hands. With some string-pulling by Zee TV, cops would have gone and arrested Rakhi based on video evidence of assualt.

Anonymous said...

Seriously, I hope it was all a show. Otherwise this Rakhi needs to write to Love Chakker for her anger management problems.
Mind Rush has some solutions!

Anonymous said...

Apparently all this happened too: