Sunday, February 17, 2008

Surviving Jodhaa Akbar

When some of us made plans to see Jodhaa Akbar (review hopefully coming up soon) accompanied by four kids all between the ages of 5 and 9, I had no idea the movie would weigh in at a hefty 3 hours and 40 minutes. This initially scared me: after all I've been to Star Trek marathons that lasted less.

But I'm hugely proud to say that not only did I survive Jodhaa-Akbar but I actually enjoyed the entire experience. I'm not sure the people sitting in front of us would agree but the kids did well (there are some gruesome scenes which I would caution parents about - but because I tend to chuckle during bloodbaths my kids aren't usually particularly traumatized).

I also couldn't help but note that the theater owners must be cursing the running length of the movie as well. Not only does it mean fewer shows they can cram into a day (the primary reason studios have running length stipulations in their contracts with directors in Hollywood) but enough popcorn and drink refills were sought to probably cut down the concession stand margin to a measly 5000%.

If I had known about this I would have implemented another one of those business ideas of mine that never seem to go anywhere. I'd have printed a pamphlet and made it available outside the theater for $1. On one side, I would have snippets about Akbar, Jodhaa, the Mughal dynasty and history in general. You know, to educate audiences about the movie they were about to spend a significant part of their adult life watching. On the other side, I would have printed back and neck exercises.

Still, I went home with happy memories, not the least being the scenes in which Jodhaa reiterates that its a woman's good fortune to be in the kitchen and cook for her husband. This is good material to tease the Drift Memsaab with for weeks to come.

Let the games begin: I'm still waiting for my handwa, woman!

14 comments:

Drift "Memsaab" said...

This from the desk of Drift (so-called) Memsaab...
I hurried home from the film in my "doli," to fire the baawarchi. I too shall serve a 19 course meal including daal bati churma and sohan halwa.
But before dinner, Jalal-u-Drift honey, would you please jump on the elephant just once for me?

Next on my to-do-list...
...Polish my sword, in case we can't agree on who's doing the dishes tonite.

anu g said...

Lady Drift in person!Finally!Long over-due!
I was amused by Aspi's post. But Lady Drift, you simply win the first round hands down.
I am rubbing my hands in glee,waiting to hear more from you.

Beth said...

I think the wizened old adviser should do the dishes, don't you?

And as for that brochure, you need to write one for me if not the general public. I knew not one iota of the history and was blissful in my ignorance while the movie was going, but by tomorrow I will want to research and get righteously indignant at liberties taken. As is my way.

ritha said...

ROFL Mrs.Drift !!!!

megan said...

watching this tomorrow and i don't want the movie to end ever. I would have loved it if it was 6 hours long

Anonymous said...

No kidding about the length of the movie. I did chuckle a lot through out the movie at how bad the direction was. The songs were awful in the movie. The whole movie theatre here in Delhi would start laughing every time a song started.

I still amuse myself by just thinking about Hrithik's trance dance.

Having said that, I would watch the movie again just for Hrithik. He is looking simply delicious.

- Joules

M said...

umm ok

i still have high hopes for the movie since it is directed by an oscar nominated director and i looooove the soundtrack.. and the length doesn't bother me..

i mean it can't be any worse than om shanti om or hey baby or CDI or other crapfests hailed as masterpieces in India.

Sania said...

Yay for the Drift Memsahib!

Drift khaandaan, I will be in Chicaog approximately 1 month from now. T'would be awesome to have a Drift meetup!~

Aspi said...

Sania, sure, that would be great. Shoot me your dates when they get finalized on FaceBook and we'll work out the time.

bornarchitect said...

Wow! 3hr 40 minutes is loooonngg!
I like your style of writing. I read another interesting piece on Helloji aboyt Jodhaa Akbar and the controversy clouding it. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Thanks,
http://helloji.wordpress.com/2008/02/17/jodhaa-akbar-clouded-by-controversy/

Anonymous said...

m, you will definitely love it. The movie is worth a watch for Hrithik and Ash fans and is absolutely better than a lot of movies released lately.

- Joules

Yajnaseni said...

I wrote a think piece on Jodhaa Akbar!! And Joules, I didn't think Hrithik's trance dance was giggle-worthy, but it could be seen as such, probably. What mystified me were the giggles that broke out when Akbar ordered that Adham Khan be re-chucked from the ramparts. This happened at every show that I attended. I have attended more than one or even two, as you may gather. But didn't the brutality of treating a half-dead man in this manner strike anyone?

Aspi said...

That scene is another good example of how Gowarikar struggles with anything that is not romance related. (He'd kill at Disney).

Yajnaseni said...

I think you're right. Thinking about it, Ashu needed a more skilled dialogue writer for that scene. 'Upar laaya jaaye', 'Dobaara phenka jaaye' is hardly bone-chilling stuff. But I'm still worried that I didn't find it funny :(