P(lump) C(hick) said...
I've heard so much about your sage and discrete advice from my colleagues in Bollywood. They're especially impressed by your ability to keep their identities anonymous in your columns!
I'm a hot and happening 20 something beauty queen turned actress. Despite my career going great guns, I seem to be under "heavy" fire from all fronts. The director of my new movie tells me that at 54 Kg I am too large for my fashionable role. The brief is to lose 8 Kgs in 6 weeks – the body that I've been torturing groans in protest "fat chance"!
I'm also the target of constant sniping from a rival actor who goes on a friend's popular chat show and disses me. She is the one that the industry, the critics and the public seem to adore "jab they met" her recently. She says it's all too easy to look pretty in a big hit movie with a superstar hero. I'm sure she's taking aim at me. Can I help it if I am pretty and the big heroes like SRK, Hrithik, Akshay and Salman work with me?
To add to my weighty woes is the fact that the path to true love is so twisted. My current aashiq --- H(ero) B(anega) ---is one of the many new kids on the block. His debut movie in which I star too is still under production and with the competition today what if it (and he) is a dud? He's young, hip and handsome and right now we both work together and work out together. However if our movie fails I can't handle an insecure struggling actor and the whines that are sure to follow.
I'll be aapki aabhari P(lump) C(hick) if you can help me with my bhaari problems.
Do re-think your pseudonym. Your name should reflect high self-esteem. The rest will follow! How about calling yourself Positively Charismatic? Or something else along those lines....
Your weight does not define who you are. Inner beauty is Pure Charm! Ignore those idiots who want you to lose weight, unless the movie character requires it. Then too, do it under medical supervision. Mind Rush is mindful of many crazy eating disorders that overtake actresses in this zaalim industry.
Hire a good publicist. Get on these chai-coffee shows and dazzle the audience with your Pucca Convictions re: high morals, healthy body weight, being sweet to all, etc. You will attract good karma. Doosri actress ki khalaas....
Now the ishq ka question...If you like HB, go dancing, dining,driving with him. When the media or the coffee-chai guy ask about HB, say "We're just friends!" Deny, deny. This will benefit your career, keep the public tantalized and also keep the door ajar for other TDH prospects to come along....