But I actually enjoyed the 53rd Filmfare awards because they had the right touch of craziness - a lot of it due to SRK and Saif doing a Mumbai Bitches routine. But also because loopy awards (Fresh Face, anyone?) were handed out with impunity.
If sponsors can get nutty awards inserted, why can't the public? I decided to take matters into my own hands and give out awards for the ceremony.
The Parmeswar Godrej Award
Years ago when pictures of Parmeswar Godrej used to get published in anya filmi magazines, there would be a write up about how fashion forward she was and how gorgeous and classy she looked. And all I could think of was: What is wrong with you people? This is one scary chick! Come on now, you know this to be true: Parmeswar is in Whoopi Goldberg territory.
And I'm sorry to say but Gauri Khan is headed that way. The only question I have is: who lied to the poor woman? Surely she must have asked someone how she looked before she stepped out of the house. And that chamchaa must have said "Ati-hot, Gauri!" Shame on you, chamchaa! Next time, calmly pull her aside and say "Behen, you look like E.T. about to do three rounds of Turkish Oil Wrestling"
The Behenji Award
I thank Megan for pointing this out first - yes, Vidya Balan does dress like a behenji. And her bedazzled orange outfit made her look like an Aruna Irani-themed phirki.
There's a Bomb in the Building Award
Man that Hrithik Roshan sure is one tense guy. He looked like he had a rod up his spine all the time he was there. He didn't have much to fear because wisely, I noted, SRK and Saif stayed away from poking fun at the new superpower in town.
Maximum Phokat Publicity Award
The beneficiary clearly was Prasoon Joshi who won an award for himself and then went to pick up two for Aamir Khan reminding us each time that Aamir doesn't accept awards (unless they are the cash kind).
The One Flop Away from Berojgar Award
SRK put a face on the general bitchiness in Bollywood and met it head on. And while Saif and he were in the middle of that "Money for Weddings" gig, I thought what are the chances that Beyonce, Britney and Christina Aguilera would get together and skewer themselves for doing bar mitzvahs for a couple of hundred thou? Zip!
Ignore all the spontaneous PJs and the tired gay jokes - his send up of Ram Gopal Varma and Saawariya were both fun to watch. And while his star power lets him get away with it - there really was no reason for him to do all this. Except to entertain low brow people like me. For this selflessness, I thank him.
The Entertainer of the Ceremony Award
Well that producer had me in splits. Because he had clearly sent out a bunch of cameramen to film people for ten minute stretches. Then as the show unfolded, producerji edited in footage with savage fun. Many memorable edits resulted. Innuendos were made. Implications were constructed.
The best among them was a cut to an extreme close up of Rekha whenever a hot young actor was on stage. This hilarious edit situation reached new lows when Darsheel walked on stage to get his award. Cut to Rekha again. Tremendous! Next time forget presenting, SRK should do the editing.
- Vidya Balan looked like she had emerged from the thakur's haveli, says meena
- Mind Rush developed an urge to print Gauri Khan
- Rekha had Amrita covering her eyes
- Akshay Kumar seems to be dancing in treacle thinks ~mad munky~
- The SRK-Saif combo made headmistress feel like gouging her eyes out
- Gauri triggers Sienfeld ki yaadein for Joules
- leera says the P. Godrej award can be retitled "wannabe drag queen"
- Tanny points to the link for streaming the show
- Why Hrithik comes well-defended against the world, by Mind Rush
- Gauri Khan reminded anu g of giving her daughter an oil bath
- SRK missed poking fun at his band of brothers notes Megan
- LP felt the whole show was a bit exaggerated
- Gauri has the access to the best but that shade of lipstick mortified Payal
- Plucked chicken in a shiny trash bag thinks sidekick about Gauri but is more interested in Ranbika - what's going on there?
- Bella takes a timeout thinking of Hrithik
- Neil Mukesh's dancing was adorkable says Megan, who isn't easily impressed
- Hrithik sexy agrees Joules but whats with that nasal twang?
- Pratik can't believe the Gauri Khan difference from Vogue shoot to Filmfare Awards
- anu g on how SRK's performance was received in India
- This isn't Gauri's first oily, notes Malz
- girlie girl didn't dig SRK on the show but Himesh cracked her up
- desigirl regrets not watching
- No award for Neil, Filmfare always rewards the undeserving complains Megan