Thursday, July 10, 2008

Jai Matadi Let's Rock! How to say NO to Kya Baat Hai and save Hindi pop culture

Months ago when Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge 2007 was kicking butt (and getting better I might add), we invented the Mindblowing Shots Game. This was because that annoying word Mindblowing was being used so much, that it was important to appropriate its use by downing a shot every time someone uttered it on TV.

And these days the phrase "Kya Baat Hai!" has reached the same irritating proportions. I know its just a phrase - and on JJWS its mostly mouthed silently - but bear with me here because the objective is to squeeze entertainment out of a situation that has none.

Kya Baat Hai is a terrible way to praise someone - it should be mothballed along with the shababi kababi mujra era that it belongs to. Instead I would like to propose Jai Matadi Lets Rock - or its shorter counterpart JMLR! - which will surely make its way to Wikipedia one of these days.

While waiting for this wonderful phrase to be adopted universally, I suggest this for the mind numbingly long Grand Finale that is sure to follow as Star tries to squeeze its show for those confusing TRPs.

Whenever you see (or hear) someone mouthing Kya Baat Hai, reach for a shot of your favorite drink and yell Jai Matadi Lets Rock! Tequila is recommended but otherwise mint or ginger chai will also suffice if alcohol is not your cup of tea, so to say.

Pretty soon the JJWS finale will stop feeling laborious and a party will be at hand. Trust me on this.

Also:

44 comments:

Amrita said...

LOL, as I don't watch the show, I keep hearing that phrase as spoken by Shashi Kapoor with that sexy little hitch in his voice. *swoons* I likey :blush:

Nice to know The Himesh is on a personal quest to destroy every single fond memory of my childhood. Wasn't Karzzzzzzzzz the Movieeeeee Reeeeeeeeeemake phrum Helllllllll enough?!

Pitu said...

JMLR!! *downs some nice garma garam Kalami chai* Fun post Aspi!

Amrita, apparently not. Next we will see The Himes as Gabbar, Jai and Veeru in Sholaaayyyy-the real Aag. After that, we will see him as Raj in DDDLJay- the realll luv storyy and then he will do a dance dvd of Madhuri's and Ash's greatest hits, where we will see him thumkaoing and jhatkaoing in skimpy cholis and ghagras. This dvd will be titled Himes- the dancinggg divaaaa.

j said...

And he will give interviews as to how much better he is than Ash and Madhuri and can do a better dola-re-dola than both of them combines.

j said...

*combined*

Aspi said...

Himesh would be well advised to work on that saas-bahu script Teddy did a while ago with some help from Joules.

It was written specifically for Himesh - and I can tell you nothing excites an actor more than a script tailor-made for him/her, not even a good plot.

Teddy, final script ka kya hua?

girlie girl said...

Mind Blowing write up Aspi...Wah, Kya Baat Hai!! Sorry, it was too easy! now that we're all drunk from my first sentence...let's have some fun. Eventually, when Himanshu is done doing remakes of every great movie, he will make a remake of a remake...like the next Donn - Donn to pakadna mushkil he nahi, Imposhhible hai!...he can do a remix of "Khaike Paan banaras wala" to have it say "Khaike Dhokla Gujarat wala!"

Anonymous said...

That pic of him really proves the theory that said that "humans evolved from monkeys"....LOL


-unfobbishlyfobbified

j said...

Amrita, you brought back memories. No one can say "kya baat hai" like Shashi.

I feel like I am turning into my dad. Remember when your parents use to talk about the movie stars of their jamaana.

Kanan said...

Kya baat hai, Aspi! ;)

I miss The Himesh. No SRGMP this year. I guess I will have to go the youtube way.

If he has a list of remakes, I'd like for him to start with Khalnayak... or should I say Taalnayak and do a topi ke neeche kya hai. Then in Mr. India errr I mean Mr. Zulfiya and kids will sing for him "topi waale baal dila" where he'd respond back "tera mere baalon se, kaisa hai yeh chakkar anjaana". Then in China Town (1962) remake it would be "baal baal dekho hazaar baal dekho" and how can we forget a Farz after Karz. That he must do with "baal baal yeh jab aaye, baal baal yeh dil bhaaye". Oooh I can't contain the excitement. I for sure want him to do Anu Malik song like "mera pehla baal uga hai satrah-athrah saalon mein" that Salman Khan song from Har Dil Jo Pyar Karega (2000), and the list continues.

Btw, what Shashi Kapoor film has the "kya baat hai" dialog? I am not able to recall.

Aspi said...

gg, Don + Himesh = Heaven

Kanan, that last song choice is particularly hilarious. You are a wicked woman and its good to have you here.

I think j and amrita are talking about Shashi's general habit of saying KBH in a flirtatious way. As far as I am concerned that was unnecessary and distracting.

Kind of like Susan Sarandon who gave her nun in Dead Man Walking such a sexy voice that I couldn't focus on the movie much.

j said...

I dont know if the exact dialog was spoken but Kabhi-Kabhi has Shashi Kapoor doing a KBH. He was so much in love and so proud of his wife (Rakhi) you could see him saying something like that.

btw, that is one of my all time favourite movies.

Pitu said...

"mera baal uga hai satra athra saalon mein" hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Mind Rush said...

Driftji, this picture of Himass makes him look like a girl with a bad haircut --- and a stubble! Yaani ki, a freak from a circus.

MBMR said...

Mind Blowing Mind Rush sez---JMDLR is not kosher as it has religious overtones. It has the potential to offend the Left, the Right and the Centerists.
On the other hand...Kya Baat Hai is the equivalent of "wow!"

Teddy said...

perplexed. I looked at the Himes hairdo in different angles, but I still can't tell...is this his "real" hair, is this his hairwoven hair, is this a terrible wig, or is this a photoshopped pic to make him look (more) ridiculous than he normally does, or is the hairdresser playing a vicious joke on him in revenge for not being paid for all the years that the head was under a topi?

LOL@kanan and pitu- oh god, that was so funny, baal baal dekho? hahaaaa, and Himesh in ghagra choli? man, the vision is dancing in my head now. hahaha

Aspi- just emailed you a revised version on Himesh saas-bahu epic part one.

For all you Shashi lovers - I have a friend that reminds me so much of Shashi Kapoor in his heyday, especially the flirty voice. I could listen to him talk for hours

Pitu said...

Hmm? *bats eyelashes* Zara hamein bhi to milao! ;-)

anu g said...

Cheers!

Tina said...

Do check out Himesh' pics at "Himesh's hairy tales" and write-up from SRGMP press conf.

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=984526

now, I can't decide whether to watch my fav "comedy circus" on Sony or "saregamapa" on Zee on weekends.

girlie girl said...

Tina, you can watch SRGMP cause looking at Himesh, you will not be laughing any less!!

Did anyone notice the zoolander look Himansu has going on in the pics on that link?! Hillarious..."Is there more to life than being really really good looking?" probably the question that's going on in Himanshu's head...

Aspi said...

Those pics are awesome.

Teddy, got the Himesh saas-bahu. Many thanks. Himesh's hair has been surgically implanted - its a weave. It was the reason he walked around in a cap and grew his back so long. He wanted donor hair.

Although I believe he ended up taking some of Vishal's as well.

Pitu said...

Proof I need caffeine- I mentally added an extra 'a' after 'Vishal's'!

j said...

I think Himesh's hair is a combination. He got transplant but part of it looks like hair extensions.

girlie girl said...

Yeah i definitely spot some extension on that head...you can tell just from the texture difference! oh Poor Himanshu...whatever happened to being accepted for who we are!? Dhokla eating, cap wearing, nasal voice singing, balding middle-aged man!!

*~mad munky~* said...

*lol*

I missed most of the first two shows (domestic emergency), but did manage to catch a glimpse of The Hair. It looks like he's stolen it from one of those Lego characters.

I think his hair might have a fight with Pritam's one of these days....

Aspi said...

Hair extensions - man, how much work does it take to put this guy together?!

~mm~ good description. I might now feel like taking that whole thing off Lego-style and fixing it on someone else (like say Akshaye Khanna :)).

Amrita said...

Kanan - I can't remember a specific movie but I do remember him in front of a drab colored wall, with that sexy mod haircut, smiling that devilish grin, and giving that little jerk of the head before drawling "Kya baat hai" with a little hitch in "baat". Like he was just about to jump her, whoever she was. I really wanted it to be me! Sigh.

Pitu, J, Girlie Girl and kanan - you guys are pure evil! :D

Also, J - he's not even my zamana but who cares?! Why are the best ones always so out of reach?

j said...

Amrita, so true.

My favourite of all time bollywood actor (no suprise here) is Amitabh Bachchan. But Shashi was definitely my #2. I loved Amitabh and Shashi's pair. "mere paas ma hai" was such a classic dialog.

What I use to like about multi-starrer movies in those days (70's) was that everyone stood on his own and no one really played second fiddle. Dont see much of that in today's movies.

girlie girl said...

mwahahahaha!! (doing evil laugh with the fingers...Monty Burns style!)

Kanan said...

Amrita, like J said, for me too Amitabh is at #1 but the chocolate that Shashi was it’s like you want to have the craving for life. Every time I think of him, I remember the two-cups-chai-drinking-fat-girl from khilte hai gul yahan and the way he moves his palm as if turning a side-ways pressure cooker lid with his right palm.

As for the KBH dialog, Beth might know about it.

Tell me about it @ the out of reach. :(

Teddy said...

Hey another idea for a post....worst hairdos of bollywood.

Mimoh tops the list, his hair is even worse than Himesh's monstrosity.

Mind Rush said...

I am working overtime to Hair-analyze Himass.
So far, I am left just scratching my head!

Akd said...

ummm..just wundering........will de new mop of himess hair get lice and dandruff ?? i mean..u know.....:-s

megan said...

probably does..i think that mop on his head once belonged to some girl in China who sold her tresses for some $$ to pay for her education..

his scalp is still his so dandruffs will still be there..lice will too i would think

Anonymous said...

lol megan nope its guys who have that hairstyle not girls... quite popular among chinese/korean/japanese/taiwanese artists... although it looks a bit girly yeah.

Anonymous said...

Hillarious Post by ever Dear Megania !

j said...

That is a good idea Teddy. There is Bobby Deol's 'Jhoom Barabar' hairstyle and then the ponytail that is almost not there(Amitabh, Shahrukh), Anil Kapoor's hair in Tashan, Ajay Devgan's golden streaks (which looks like were done at home).

If it was amongst the actresses the first spot would go to Ameesha Patel for her blond hair color, followed by Kareena in Tashan and Aish in Kyun Ho gaya...

Teddy said...

@j - there was a Salman Khan movie where he had hair parted in the centre and falling in limp bangs on the side...that was scary. It was somewhat like Kishore Kumar's hair in the old movie Padosan.
It was a look that was maybe fashionable at a few downmarket Allahabad paan stalls in the early 1930s.

That movie also had a behenji type leading lady with droopy eyes and an enormous lower lip. I don't know what her name is.

You're right, Bobby Deol's hair in Jhoom barabar was horrendous. As also Amitabh Bacchan's entire stupid look.

Barely there pony tails, hair bands, Legohair, blond streaked mullets---GAG!!!

Hrithik's hair in Jodha Akbar on the other hand...(dreamy sigh). It must be illegal for a man to be so marvelously goodlooking.

j said...

That movie was called "Tere Naam". Hairstyle prominent in the Jogiya song. That movie is also responsible for Himesh's fame.

Yeah, Hrithik's hair style was awesome in Jodha Akbar (Actually everything about him was perfect in that movie including him taming his nasally voice).

Talking of droolworthy NNM is slowly moving to the top of my list of best dressed male's. Here is another outing in Narendra Kumar Ahmed

http://www.highheelconfidential.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/neil-jail-suit-21.jpg

Bee's said...

himesh gives his "rozi roti chahiye" speech again..:-d
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WyIgThsWRd4&feature=related

Tina said...

ok girlie girl,JMLR it is! KBH KBH...
JJWS winner is RV.
HS turns out to be a bad loser and dear Vidya Balan is clueless abt how to dress to suit or make most of her body type.

Rahul Vaidya said...

I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON
I WON I WON

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

baal ki dukaan said...

cmmon la. himesh ko chest waxing ki jaroorat nahi padegi kyunki chest ke saare baal to ab sir pe hai. after dis money saving hair transplant, no wonder hes called a shrewd business man just like the chinej.

baal ki dukaan said...

n forgot to mention vahan buy 1 get 1 free offer chal raha tha - dats y his hair looks twice as long!

joules said...

I have to give Vidya Balan atleast 1/2 a thumbs up. The girl did'nt look as bad as I had expected.

The shoes were great, her hair looked nice and the dress was ok. I think her entry after Bips (who looked gorgeous in the black saree) took some of the air out but overall better than Vidya has looked in a while.