And boy, was the reward immediate! But more on that later.
VoI has three judges: disgruntled ex-SRGMP judge Ismail Darbar who launched into a delicious mini-attack of SRGMP at one point, Sukhwinder Singh of the booming voice and goofball potential and Monty Sharma - who with his startled lab rat look makes Ismail Darbar look like he is in a GQ shoot.
All three judges are at moral loggerheads with each other. Let me explain.
All evening Monty Sharma kept using the confounding word "Attack!" whenever he wanted to encourage a contestant. Confused by what this meant, contestant after contestant bowed meekly and scurried off the stage. Perhaps sensing this, Monty felt compelled to explain.
"The meaning of this word Attack!" said Monty, "is that I want you to go out there and get what you want! Don't wait for it to come to you."
Immediately Ismail Darbar picked up the mike and said: "You have to chheeno stuff these days. Even asking God for it doesn't work. God doesn't have time for us!"
At this point Sukhwinder put on his best achha insaan face and cut in. "God has time for all us" he said solemnly, waving one arm around. "He gives without asking!" Then he turned to the perplexed contestant hanging out reluctantly on stage. "Don't make this advice a guiding slogan in your life!"
Black and white sankat ensued. Monty grabbed the mike and peered from under his hair. "When does a child get fed milk by his mother? Only when he cries!" Despite the implication here that Monty may have had a disturbed infanthood, this deliciously loopy and unrelated take on Gabbar Singh's famous saambha-maa-bachcha dialog from Sholay was fine entertainment.
But back to that instant gratification I mentioned earlier. Some girl called Saptaparna opened proceedings with a fine rendition of Kay Cera Cera. The judges threw their hands around and did much wah, wah. I had to down a tequila because I saw Sukhwinder mouth Kya Baat Hai at least once.
When the performance was finished Ismail trotted on stage and looked at Saptaparna. "Your name is very convoluted!" he declared. "So from this point on you shall have a new name. And to remind me of the light your singing will spread in this world, I will henceforth call you...ROSHNI!"
Saptaparna swallowed hard and bowed long and deep - probably to give herself some time to make sense of the drama. Host Shaan smiled broadly and immediately began addressing the poor girl by her new name.
Right after that another contestant called Debarati with enough spray in her hair to hold up all of South Delhi came and sweetly ambled her way through Bhaage Re Mann. After she finished she hopefully waited for Ismail to issue another spontaneous naamkaran. But Ismail appeared to be least interested. It might have been my imagination but Debarati looked distinctly crest fallen.
Lady, new name ke liye aur mehnat karo!
- ~mad munky~'s brain has Reality TV overload
- m laments the lack of lookers on the show with some awards of her own
- Any inconvenience is worth watching Shankar Mahadevan vs Himesh says maxdavinci
- Recycled songs and singers complains Anon
- j is tired of the song selection
- Bee is intrigued
- And who was Monty's mom? asks j
- Mind Rush analyzes Monty's monicker
- girlie girl tells us what she'd do the judges
- Malz suggests a naamkaran for Ismail
- svr would like girlie girl to host the show and lists one good reason to watch the show
- Monty Sharma looks related to Whoopi says Kanan