Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge 2009: Better late than never

Man, it sure sucks that SRGMP in the US is running behind India by several weeks. But this also makes me feel less guilty about making fun of their biggest show week after week. Its payback for cocking this season up so badly.

I ended up watching the first show (some seven weeks later) this Saturday. What happened? Plenty to bamboozle us all.

First Head showed up trying to look all gangster-like only he looked like the Indian version of L'il Bow Wow. He got into a motorcycle-escorted white limo which was inexplicably driven over some ubad-khabad kachcha rasta. This must have shaken up Head because when he came out of it, he jumped on stage and kept bouncing around.

As if to focus attention on his well, head, Head had slicked his hair into my younger son's favorite hairstyle - affectionately called The Rhino around the house. This bit of deft identification with the masses made me sit up and take note that a smarter, friendlier season of SRGMP was at hand.

Later Head said some long winded nonsense by way of introduction and announced that there would be Indian, Pakistani, Bangladeshi and videshi singers on the show. This startling bit of news made me switch to BBC briefly to check if India had indeed annexed its two neighbors. After making sure that they hadn't, I marveled at this wonderful bit of South Asia against the World bit of bhaichara and meri aankhein nam hui.

Barely had this excitement subsided that Himesh was introduced with much fanfare which in the House of Reshammiya these days means: Wind-blown Hair and Explosions! Luckily mahaguru Asha Bhonsle wasn't around to witness all this manliness.

Himesh along with that Lego head of hair has developed a fascinating walk - he swivels his shoulders with every step. This catwalk strut - which would shame the likes of Heidi Klum - was Himesh's way of telling us that as far as adaa was concerned, SRGMP would go for broke this season.

All of this was extremely appetite-whetting. And Shankar Mahadevan hadn't even fallen out of the sky yet. But he promptly did and executed a smart walk joined by his chelas - a sharp looking bunch of boys and girls who turned out to be the weakest bunch of singers. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Shankar got on stage and immediately announced that he wasn't that kind of a person. Here he squinted at Himesh and shook his head ruefully - meaning he wasn't a dramebaaz like nudge, nudge, you know who. Himesh barely blinked, snapped up the mike and said something that I didn't fully understand but which sounded dramatic.

Here I will take the liberty of ignoring judge Aadesh Srivastava's entry - blandness ki liye there is no place on the Drift.

We all met the final judge Pritam as he emerged from under the waves of a roiling sea - all soaked and delirous. This was SRGMP's way of tweaking social Bollywood stereotypes in which actresses are subjected to this kind of treatment. Pritam jumped up, sloshed his wet hair around and aligned himself with his chelas. Then the whole sea behind him exploded in a ball of fire.

After his snaan, Pritam walked on stage and issued a mild challenge to Himesh in the Chatoo Sweepstakes. But Himesh defused this by calling Pritam a cute insaan. You could sense the love between these two. Pritam later happily settled down and turned out to be the most focussed judge among all.

On to the singers! Lest you think that SRGMP is all judge drama, a number of promising singers came out and tested their pipes. I look forward to listening to their talent in the weeks to come.

Also:

23 comments:

Yajnaseni said...

Good only you wrote this, Aspi -:). Now that I know you guys are watching SRGMP a few months late or whatever, I won't even bother to ask whether you've caught the 'other' reality shows, such as Khatron Ke Khiladi with Akshay Kumar on a new channel called Colours? Or Dus Ka Dum, with Salman Khan? There, now I've asked all the things I won't bother to ask.

j said...

The show was hillarious. I was launghing from beginning to end.

The second day also saw a dharmsankat moment between Shankar and Himesh. So we have the start of the movie where the hero (Shankar) and the villain (Himesh or the other way round for Him fans) have been introduced.

Actually am liking Adesh on the show. Maybe I am biased as I recently read that he gave shelter and sahara to his sis-in-law Sulochna Pundit after her bros Jatin-Lalit took all her money and kicked her out.

girlie girl said...

I have been waiting for this writeup ever since i saw the show...and it was so worth the wait! I have a feeling this is going to be a memorable and quite entertaining season. btw, i hate the fact that they call it SRGMP 2009 instead of 2008...what is the reasoning behind this, anyone know?!

I love the tension between Himesh and Ashaji right now...everything she says it stings him the wrong way! Also, i can't believe how still that man sits due to the flock of hay on his head...in the 2 episodes they played, i didnt see him wear (or even attempt to listen thru) the head phones once.

LOL on the Lego-head hair Aspi! Brilliant connection!!

also, what is with the love connection that men with greasy long hair have with Himesh?!?! First it was ID and now Pritam...ughhh

j said...

My guess on the 2009 is that, it will be 2009 by the finals. That seems like a really long season.

Aspi said...

yajnaseni, I have seen Dus Ka Dum but not the others. I really have space in my life to only watch one show regularly :) I squeeze in Indian Idol when its on just because the Drift Memsaab adores it. Otherwise its bits and pieces here and there out of curiosity (I did that with Paanchvi Pass also).

But Akshay Kumar on a show! Will have to check it out.

maxdavinci said...

aspi don't waste yor time with that khiladi show on colors. Pathetic is a small word for it. 13 so-called hoat women screaming and yelling while all our Akki baba does is whistle with one finger and chant the gayatri mantra....

Bout SRGMp i'd borrow a line from a rajnikanth flick 'Aap late aaye lekin latest aaye!'

svr said...

Ah, Aspi, this means you haven't seen Shankar Mahadevan take on Himesh yet! It's all of a minute long, Shankar is unfailingly polite -- but it's a treat coming up!

That first episode began by cracking me up, but as it progressed, I kept wondering if I was watching SRGMP or some mislabelled soap opera. Then it hit me, the director's message, "We're every bit as good as the Kekta soaps -- we have an equally good-looking, dramatically-inclined and ready-to-cry set of faces. And what's more, here YOU vote for the plot!"

Yes? Maybe?

j said...

Oh God, and the gareeb bhai crying on TV because he wants to get his sister's married. Can they stop doing that? Show the gareeb's with little bit of dignity. "Yeah we got nothing but we are happy or i hope my sis's start earning and not keep crying waiting to get married".

The other thing is "Aapko bharat aake kaisa laga" specially asked to the pakistanis. WTF. Ask them about the town they grew up in, how they got into music, how did they end up auditioning for SRGMP. God forbid, we learn something from them.

Aspi said...

Indeed! A post idea emerges...

Pitu said...

Lol, I must start catching up on youtube.

Anonymous said...

Aspi :
A write up is requested on Reality Show Judges and their Fake Expressions.
Megan can comment on Ila Arun and her Style.
It will be a Fun reading.

AspiFan said...

Please write on how many Readers you have at this Blog.
I feel it could e in 6 figure numbers.

Aspi said...

af, there are two ways to measure readers: one is by engagement, which is not measured well today but one I believe in. The other is via site trackers which I do out of interest but I don't necessarily pursue.

The industry is moving towards engagement - they just don't know how to do it yet. When they start doing it, I'll be happy to publish the numbers. Until then I'm doing my best to discourage SEO trolling and Google Zeitgeist leeching by staying away from it :)

Mind Rush said...

LOL! Aspi, your write up is more dhmaaka and fire than the show itself!

BTW, did the producers try to make each guru represent the elements Fire, Earth, Air and Water?

Aspi said...

Mind Rush, good observation. I believe Aadesh was representing leaves.

Mind Rush said...

Here are some free ideas for TV and Bollywood producers:

1) Make the SRGMP finale coincide with midnight of Dec 31, 2008 so the new Vijeta will be crowned in 2009. Then Him-Mess can drone on and we will all fall asleep.

2) Someone needs to make a film based on reality shows. I nominate Farhan Akhtar to star in it as a SRGMP champion wanna-be. Dad can play himself as real life judge. Vishal-Shekhar can provide music and also play some roles. The villian will be Him-Mess. Hope Adi Chopra is taking notes...

svr said...

Ooooooh, let's also have Himani and Abhijeet Sawant! She can sing and cry, and he can dance and smile! And Toshi/Debojit/Vinit can do all the fight scenes (no need for a fight choreographer!) And Rahul dear can just play himself, the superstar. :P

Oh, and have Abhijeet (the old one) and Bappi TOGETHER as more judges. If Him-Mess is the villain, Asha Bhosle has to be there somewhere to play foil. And maybe even Atif Aslam as a surprise guest performer?

Perhaps Aamir Khan might like this unconventional & explosive script and agree to produce it? :D He can probably get the supporting cast for free if he promises them a song each to sing :D Aspi, only you have the connections to find out!

[P.S. A little caffeinated]

m said...

OMG anonymous Parveen Ji! Yes Ila Arun on Junoon has constant multiple orgasms whenever her contestants sing..

i have a bit of a time constraints these days otherwise I would make a compilation video of all her "O" faces.. she jumps up and down being a desi auntyji version of Energizer Bunny!!! not to mention her huge bindis and OTT jewelerry...

megan said...

I downloaded some of my favorite performances from the show and copied to my ipod..

and i was driving my car one day and i shuffle my playlists when i am driving..

then anyhoo Junoon's "Bolo tarara ra" plays.. and i'm like enjoying it and all and half way through i got a major fright when i heard in between the song this long scary moaning/purring/GAWD KNOWS WHAT sound "UHHHHH" "AHHHHHH" UH HUHHHHHHHH" courtesy of Ila Arun.. it was FRIGHTENING and at the same time extremely DISTURBING...

Bella said...

mind rush, your second idea is the most brilliant one i've heard in ages. it would be superb, mindblowing, outstanding (i'm sure i'm missing a word here)...

*~mad munky~* said...

@ Bella... I'll do the honours:

'fan-tass-tick!'

at this point we would expect a dramatic hair flick, but seeing as Himmy's hair doesn't move we'll have to make do with a dramatic wrist gesture instead.

;o)

Aspi said...

I agree: Abhijit, Bappi and Atif Aslam in one place = dynamite entertainment!

That Ila Arun seems like a fun person. I remember her coming on Indian Idol once and immediately flirting with Javed Akhtar who immediately got a bit blushy.

I think if we had her and Kunal Ganjawala on the show/movie and played that Talli song from Ugly Aur Pagli, a memorable party would be at hand.

Anonymous said...

Meg
I am looking forward to your expert view on Gramdma Ila