Monday, October 27, 2008

The Celebrity Diwali Gift Basket

I am very sentimental about Diwali because it led me to believe in the existence of God. How else to explain my continued survival despite my participation in Diwali antics so perilous and dumb it would make Sarah Palin look like Albert Einstein?

So this Diwali to celebrate the fact that I'm alive I decided to open my heart and give generous gifts to people who continue to inform and entertain us on the Drift (and some who don't but I'm rather fond of anyway).

Abhishek Bachchan
A hit not starring either Aishwarya or Amitabh

Aditya "Head" Narayan
Global recognition for his buffed bod so we are not subjected to those super tight "look at my biceps" wardrobe anymore

Anu Malik
R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Arjun Rampal
Acting chops

Dhruv Ghanekar
Another shot at a big movie soundtrack

Dominique Cerejo, Suzanne D'mello, Shruti Pathak and Caralisa Monteiro
More lead vocals in Bollywood blockbusters

Farah Khan
A restraining order for Anu Malik

Farhan Akhtar
Continued opportunities to act within his decidedly un-Bollywood range

Gauri Khan
An honest stylist

Goldie Behl
Sense and sensibility, not to mention courage

Harman Baweja
A hit

Himesh Reshammiya
An A-list actress for a forthcoming film

Javed Akhtar
Temporary deafness so he can make it through Indian Idol 4 without telling everyone to just go home and watch SRGMP

Mimoh
A book on 101 Things You Can Do Behind The Camera

Preity Zinta
A few lucky decisions come IPL season 2

Priyanka Chopra
On screen chemistry with her fellow costars

Saifeena
Endurance

Sanjay Dutt
A right foot

Shahid Kapur
A girlfriend who won't mind being constantly photographed by her guy

Shahrukh Khan
A better team at the IPL than the last bunch of no hopers

Vidya Balan
More cleavage

Vishal Dadlani
A full recovery and return to jumping jack form with Pentagram

Yashita Yashpal Sharma
The Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge 2009 crown

Aspi's Drift
An interview with Bipasha Basu

Happy Diwali, everyone!

Also:

37 comments:

maxdavinci said...

have a great diwali sirjee may you have all the blessings!

And of course matarani ka ashirwad and Jai mata di lets rawk!

Anonymous said...

Fantastic Dimag-e-Upaj !
Please share the secret of your diet that is so Fertile in imagination !

Few More additions
Aspi
Forget ou of date Bipasa - an Interview with all A List Stars and a Not so A List H Reshamaiya

Deol Kids
a Moderate Hit

Head Kumar Narayan Nepali
an Ounce of Humbleness

Megania
One comment per week at Aspi's.

Bachchan Baba Ji
Much needed Retirement

Bachchan Amma Ji
a Grandson & Perhaps some thing to reduce the facial swelling.

Saifu Baba
a Treatment of OCD ( Obsession disorder)

and the list goes on ......

megan said...

Sushmita Sen
-one year gym membership
-Liposuction vouchers
-Some sort of a cure for pretentiousness

Deep said...

John Abraham = acting lessons

YRF said...

Aspi, Aditya Chopra needs a hit more than Harman. So in the interest of peace and goodwill to all he should pass on the gift.

Aspi said...

Maybe Aditya can do a movie with Harman. And then no gift passing has to occur.

Pitu said...

Awesome gifts, Aspi. This is better and bigger than Koffee with Karan's Gift Hamper ;-) Happy Diwali yall!

musical said...

Happy Diwali, Aspi ji!

Oh yeah, an interview with Himesh would make a fun read :).

And i totally would love to hear more lead singing from Dominique, Caralisa, Shurti and Suzzane. And Shilpa Rao and Himani Kapoor as well.

Aspi, since you mentioned Pentagram, did you get a chance during your interview to ask Vishal about any plans for album 4?

Aspi said...

musical, Vishal has a set of rules when he does interviews. One of them is that he doesn't like talking about Pentagram as a side note when doing interviews as part of Vishal-Shekhar. I wanted to ask him about Dostana so I stayed away from all Pentagram questions.

He just came off a gig though and if he has some time to spare from reviving Zero, I'll ask him about it.

musical said...

Thanks, Aspi! That makes a lot of sense.

Reviving Zero, that's awesome!! Truly awesome!

Temple oak said...

Ram gopal varma
a smile

Aamir khan
treatment for obsessive compulsive personality disorder

Akshay kumar
A reality check

Salman khan
A home without mirrors

invalid said...

head:
a fan above the age of sixteen.

mimoh:
a mirror to see how ugly he looks

bollywood d-listers:
the ability to recognise a good script from a poor one

yash raj:
profits

ram gopal verma:
admission to nearest mental hospital

drifters:
interviews with "interesting" people like himesh and mimoh :)

invalid said...

aneek:
private album with listenable songs
(ditto for all other reality show participants)

asma:
hindi lessons

deepika padukone:
the complete idiot's guide to speaking english without sounding like a fob (the way she did in bachna ae haseeno)

palin supporters:
a very big reality check

pritam:
a haircut. pronto.

Bee's said...

happy diwali to aspi and all the drifters..May your life be filled with tons of wealth, health, prosperity, happiness and drama..

Aspi said...

Hey didn't Aneek have a new album? I need to give it a listen.

The rest of Bollywood should feel grateful we are care so much about them all.

Anonymous said...

Aspi
Aneek's Khwahishen is all over the Net for you to download.
If you can not find it , Let me know and I will upload it for you

Aspi said...

Anon, thanks for the title. I'm going to use it to test some of the legal Indian streaming sites that are around. I need to research them in any case.

invalid said...

yeah aneek had a private album but it was BAD... not worth listening to at all.

m said...

O-Neek's delusional fan girls seem to think he's doing some collaboration album with Rihanna

Bappi Lahiri said...

Rihanna, Oneek ko chhodo! Mere saath boro boro boro

Rihanna said...

Who are you peeps anyway?

Asif Z said...

Rihanna, ignore these losers.

What a beautiful name you have. Your name is even more beautiful than your pictures.

Nawaz S said...

Asif are you going to try and hug Rihanna?

Asif Z said...

Rihanna, someone is insisting we hug. Can we meet?

Condi Rice said...

Asif, this is Rihanna in disguise. Let's meet in New York. Look for an angry looking black chick in a white suit and shiny hair.

Asif Z said...

I am so there! Let me rebalance the budget and book my flight.

Nawaz S said...

Can I come too?

Asif Z said...

Barkhurdar, who will take care of the country while I'm gone then? Don't you have any loyalty or responsibility to your watan?

Wait for me to get back!

Mind Rush said...

Happy Diwali, ya'll!

I don't need a gift...
Because I have Drift!
Every post is a fab tamaasha...
With or without Bipasha.

Kanan said...

Happy Diwali to fellow drifters, singers, artists, and celebrities!

Aspi, fun list of gifts. I'd like to gift Himesh a basket full of hair accessories. ;)

Chris Brown said...

Aseeeef or whatevah the hell your name is,quit hittin on my girl or you will get a SERIOUS beatin.

Oakyyy said...

^^^OMGGGG CHRIS BROWN.I LOVE YOUUUU.I've loved you ever since your first hit single "run it",came out!!!

Please dump Rihanna,the rat face,I'm much bettah!!!Pweaaaaze Chris.I'm desperate!!!!!!

Ghetto Sistah said...

John Abraham-A whole buncha skin care products.

Himesh-A good amount of rest to recover from the trauma (karzzz being a flop).

Mimoh-Obviously plastic surgery.

Vidya-Aunty's guide book on how to transform to a babe in under a week.

Deepika-I like her buh deh gal srsly needs to get rid of deh fobby accent.It's REALLY gotta go!

Sonam-Some work.

Anonymous said...

Farah Khan - a Little weight Loss
DPadukone - Reallignment of .....
Neela Towliya Bhansali - a Superhit
Shail Hada - More Playback chances
Manna Dey - a few more songs

Anonymous said...

What's with all the rude comments on Deepika's accent? I like her accent - she sounds like the rest of us in India. I didn't realize she'd migrated and become a "fob". Just for info - are Indians living in India called fobs now? Without getting on a boat? Do we all have to have an accent?

Rohit said...

Here is the link for Aneek- Rihanna Collaboration for those who thinks its illusion!

http://www.zeenews.com/articles.asp?aid=476135&sid=ENT&ssid=2

Also, Aneek's album Khwiahein is doing quite well @ # 3 in Radio Mirchi Ranking!And has got critical acclaim in all reviews!

Best,

Aspi said...

Wow, now I'm really curious to hear the album. I shall give it a spin and decide!