Monday, October 13, 2008

Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge 2009: Literary Edition

Just the other day Mind Rush and I were discussing SRGMP over email and the thought occurred to both of us: if the varied denizens of our beloved show took a year off to pen a memoir or a self-help book, what would it look like?

But why let the fun stop there? It takes much more creativity to imagine what the citizens of SRGMP could not write about. And so we came up with this list of

The World's Thinnest Books Ever Written


Himesh Reshammiya
Avoid the Spotlight: A surefire way to gain respect and make the A-list

Pritam
Manscaping Made Easy

Shankar Mahadevan
Himesh Fan Club: My journey from skeptic to life-long fan

Adesh Srivastava
Sabse Alag! How to highlight your unique qualities and stand out in the world

Kapil Dev
The Zen of Cricket: How cricket can solve all your problems in life

Tarun Sagar
Safaai! How to avoid Foot In Mouth disease and wash away your sins by periodically uttering Jai Matadi!

Asma Mohammed Rafi
Don't Fall Into The Stereotype Trap: Creating a new identity for Arabs in the Asian World

Sara Raza Khan
Fashion 2008: How not to dress like a behenji

Urmila Matondkar
Down To Earth: Say no to Diva-like behavior and embrace your inner earthiness

Himesh Reshammiya
Tandoori Chicken Dance: Become an overnight Bollywood dance dhamaka

49 comments:

Pitu said...

Hehe. I would buy Himesh's books in the hope that one day I shall achieve his greatness :-p

maxdavinci said...

Is the tandoori nights the only step hez done in the movie? I am trying to blackmail the distributor in Detroit but the guy just wont release Karzzz here! Need to do what Imran does and tehn call up the guy and say 'Hell is here, Mr.Distributor'.

mark your calendars for the 17th of Oct, this is gonna be bigger than Diwali!

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j said...

Saw Himesh on "Kante ki Takkar" (This is a great comedy show although Archana Puransingh constantly laughing can be jarring) Have to agree he is a marketing genius. I did'nt like the music of the movie when it first came out but have him sing everywhere I have started enjoying a few songs. Like the "is Karzz mein" song.

BusyBee said...

Ha Ha, surefire bestsellers for SRGMP fans.

here is another one:
Shujaat Ali Khan: How to fall in love with Multiple Actresses (only Guest judges on SRGMP)!

Anonymous said...

asifbhai, where are you???

Asif Z's thinnest book

One Two Ka Four! How to successfully run a nation by charming everyone

musical said...

Haven't been following SaReGaMaPa 2009, but your commentary is really fun to follow :). He he, and equally fun to know that Shankar is a Himesh fan.

Talking about Himesh: I had tuned to the Desi program on TV on Saturday-apparently Himesh stated that it would have been better if Ranbir Kapoor had starred in Karrrrrz. He also said that the audience must remember that he (Himesh) is not a professional actor and dancer!

Aspi said...

Himesh made that same comment at least twice in SRGMP.

Note to Himesh: we all saw the previews - we don't need to be told.

Much more fun to watch was Himesh unleashed. It was like a chick who had been a bridesmaid all her life finally getting her day. Himmy was all over SRGMP and even tried to romance a structural column during a song.

Deep said...

himesh looks like someone kicked him really hard in the second pic. maybe that is how satish kaushik got him to dance.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of Satish Kaushik - One has to watch his Lovemaking scenes with a delicate female lead in Brick Lane !

Brick Lane said...

What movie was he quoting those terrible dialogs from? Way to earn respect as a director.

Mind Rush said...

Aspi, tum ne hamaare mediocre ideas ko edge diya, aur visual diya aur chaar chaand laga diye! Superb, fantastic, mindblowing, history!
Too funny, LOL!

Anonymous said...

The Indian Cricket League was dancing like chhakka...

Mind Rush said...

Comment to Asif admirer:

Asif miyan did not "charm" everyone....he charmed the pants off everyone....

Asif Z said...

Ok, who leaked the title of the top secret memoir I am working on? Mussu, was it you, you jealous general?

Musharraf said...

At ease, Prez! I may not be Prez but I have way too much to do to keep tabs on you in detail. Hamari bhi kuchh life hai.

By the way, Sarah ne tujhe reject kiya. Ha ha ha. Lol, and all that.

Nawaz S said...

Asifbhai, cool it karo. Remember the last time you and Mussu got into a fight? Not good.

Apne ghusse pe dhakkan dalo and sing with me: Musu Musu Hasi, Deu Malai Lai, Musu Musu Hasi Deu

Condi Rice said...

Mussu, what are you doing this weekend?

Sarah P, Alaska said...

On Call Waiting:

Prime Minister Mush, what are you doing this weekend?

Musharraf said...

This weekend I will be cleaning the guns and then sauna! I can't wait.

Sarah P, Alaska said...

oh, PM (er, is it Prez?)! We have much in common.
BTW, have you read the old American novel: "Of Moose and Men"?? It's by, I believe Jane Steinbeck.

Asif Z said...

Jane Steinbeck - what a lovely name! This name deserves to be hugged. Someone please insist.

Lin said...

I have a question?

Is Asma Arab or South Asian. I thought she was a desi from Oman. I know she did dress in 'Arabi' or 'Omani' dress in one of the shows, but that would be like me saying yeah, this is what we do in America (though, obviously U.S. is not a good example for this analogy).

Though I have noticed that the people from the show, seem to act like she is Arab.

I don't know which it is. I am truly curious.

Aspi said...

Good question Lin. I would be surprised if she was desi.

Mind Rush said...

I thought she had citizenship of Oman but that her family was originally from India. However, later someone corrected me and said that she is Arab and just is a fan of Bollywood.

Lin said...

If she is a citizen of Oman, then yeah it more likely that she's Arab. Since (I don't know if this is the case with Oman) but many of the Gulf countries don't give citizenship to it's immigrant workers. And to those that they do, they're one of the very few.

And if she is Arab, well then it makes sense why she's still on the show. Because mediocriacity is accepted since she's not desi. I mean, they have the bragging rights--look, look, we have an Arab girl.

Same would go for the voting as well.

So I guess she isn't desi.

Still want her off, though.

j said...

Well, more than the show, its the public that has been voting her in. She was thrown out by the judges to make it back through the wild card round and since then has been saved by public voting. She does have an endearing quality to her.

It was worth seeing Himesh's face when it was announced that she would be joining his team. He did not look happy.

m said...

Asma's faking the whole main hinda bolta nahin crap

can't stand her and her waist is so wide LOL

m said...

not waist sorry

hips

Aspi said...

I thought it was funny how when the whole Tarun Sagar gaali-galoch thing came up, she picked up the mike and strung together multiple sentences in fine Hindi without stammering once.

She's in Koena Mitra's league when it comes to acting, it might seem.

invalid said...

well asma does look slightly south asian doesn't she..
i'm guessing that maybe one of her parents or grandparents is south asian.
she mentioned that her father wanted her to learn hindi or smth. if they didn't have desi roots, why would her dad be so keen to send her to india anyway?

Lin said...

See, that's the thing. And like m said, she speaks good Hindi.

I'm telling you. For some reason the SRGMP people seem to be under the impression that she's not desi.

And she's just going along with it by pretending to be weak in Hindi. Pfffftttttttt

meg said...

asma looks like that Tulsi lady in that saas bahi soap.. yA Know the chubby desied out lady with annoying smile

invalid said...

gosh now they're going to have another drama surrounding asma.

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/net/mmpaper.aspx?page=article&sectid=12&contentid=2008101720081017024946889833409b

they really don't have to publicise her personal problems! this is a totally cheap step by zee tv.

j said...

Meg, you are so right. She does look like Tulsi Irani. I do think Asma is aiming to get into some kind of acting role. Nothing wrong though, a lot of SRGMP participants have treated the show a step to get into TV shows.

Aspi said...

SRGMP without drama is like jal bin machhli.

But I can see Asma acting in a soap: someone' finally connects with her long lost daughter from Abu Dhabi - she looks Indian, but talks Arab-Hindi! She's a delightful ditz and has a tendency (like all teenage Arab kids) to hold her finger in her mouth!

The laugh track kicks in as soon as she makes an appearance.

Maybe she should act in Himesh's soap.

j said...

And Sara could be the main lead of the show all dressed in her behenji outfits. We may have to bring Mauli to play the vamp role. Asma would definitely be the comic relief.

I can see Head playing one of the spineless male characters that you see in Ekta's serials.

invalid said...

no head can be the comic relief... the guy who dotes on his fat wife

Kanan said...

Hehahahaha.. this whole post and the comments are making me go LMAO..

Anonymous said...

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii aspi m dil AMANAT LOVER......... yaad aya.........by da way h r u aspi? n kia tum ne amanat ka song suna........KHABAR NAHI from dostana..........oh superb song oh god i just luv this song .........kia gaya hai yar....anywayz do reply me .............byeyeyeyye

Aspi said...

Hey dil, I sure did - we even talked to Vishal about it on the Drift.

Anonymous said...

hey really.............my God......so nice song naa......ok tell me abt ur favourit singer this time.......i think ......pehle jaisa maza nahi hai naa...............(dil)

Anonymous said...

aspi vr r u yaar???????????????dil

Aspi said...

Dil, I've been enjoying SRGMP - just haven't watched anything in weeks now. I assume they are still showing old episodes because of the strike. Otherwise, it seems to be good entertainment still.

Anonymous said...

hiiiiiiiiiiii aspi h r u ?????????dil

Anonymous said...

whos ur favourit singer this time ...................(dil)

Aspi said...

Um, I like the show more than the singers. But I enjoy listening to Yashita Yashpal. With the right breaks she'll eat into Sunidhi and Suzanne's market.

dil said...

hiiiiiiiiii aspi h r u ....m dil.............

dil said...

hiiiiiiiiii aspi vr r u??