Hi, my name is Karen Johar. I am one of Bollywood's big cheeses - high on most power lists. I am an actor, writer, producer, director and yes, a TV talk show host (remember Krappee with Karen?)
I am here to tell everyone how loved I feel by everyone's show of support for Dostana. Now you may ask: Karen that's not your movie. But it is: I produced it - I'd like everyone to know that. Its under my very own production house Pharma Productions - which I'm very proud of.
But I am indeed very hurt about some people saying the movie is offensive to homosexuals. What?! We made it with great sensitivity and care. Our intent was to entertain - it wasn't just to cash in on the 'gay is chic' phase urban India is entering.
I invited a bunch of people from the gay community to watch it before hand. Sure, they were all my friends. And they had downed a few martinis beforehand. But they loved it! Would your own friends lie to you? Have I lied to any of my....Okay, maybe that's not such a good example. But you're smart. You get my point, no?
People itna jalte hain! Dostana is a great movie! It stars John Baberaham's body. Its got music by Visual and Skater. Do you even need a plot?
This reminds of the witch hunt that ensued when I made TANK - Tubhi Alvida Na Kehna. I made that movie with the biggest superstar in the world Starlook Khan. And yes, there were a bunch of other people in the movie too. But does it matter? Starlook was in it!
I'll admit this movie lived up to its name and tanked at the box office. But it was the viciousness with which people called me The Enemy of Marriage that shook me up. I remember crying for days afterward. Pani Lookerji walked up to me and said "Karen you need to make family friendly movies!"
I told Pani: "With all due respect dear, I make family friendly movies for single people who like to party. Or inebriated DINKS. Is that so bad!!"
Bollywood conservatism disgusts me. I want to change it all.
But that is where I have a big problem. I also want to be loved by all. You have no idea how much work it is in Bollywood to love Starlook and still keep my feet in other camps. There are days when my cheeks hurt from having to smile constantly at people I barely like. And maroing maskaa to everyone? Exhausting! Its taking years off my life!
But my shrink has helped me in this regard. You see as a child I was not a cool kid. Why even at birthday parties that Adweebya Chopra would hog all the attention. Such a faker! He would pretend to be above Bollywood and insist he wasn't into doing the whole filmi thing. And then during dance competitions, he'd mysteriously nail Bollywood dances and win the first prize. I SHOULD HAVE BEEN WINNING THE DANCE COMPETITION! Never mind. Those early experiences left me with a need to be loved by all.
I'd like to say that even though I have a reputation for being a bit nasty, I'm actually a rather sweet person. Remember that gift hamper I used to give my guests on my show Krappee with Karen? Wasn't that super sweet? Bollywood stars love freebies! You should have seen how Brinjal threw herself all over that fairness cream I pack in the hamper.
Why just yesterday Glory Khan stopped by to show me her new Versace handbag. Did I tell her to turn down the setting on her fake bake? No! Instead I graciously smiled and told her she looks like the queen that Starlook deserves! Wasn't that nice of me? Yes, it was.
But back to the challenges at hand. I'm making more movies. Starlook is in one of them. I need all your support. Let's all join our hands and bring positive change to Bollywood. Let's include everyone in our world.
Life, I love you! And everyone in my life, I want you to love me too!