Take the Drift Memsaab for example who happens to be one of the smartest people I know. Once I was driving somewhere and asked her to turn the temperature in the car down a notch. The Drift Memsaab stared for a long time at the dashboard with the blue down and red up arrow before giving up. I rolled my eyes and made the adjustment.
I'm not implying anything about my own intelligence here but I have similar problems. And one of them was an embarrassment that I've only recently gotten under control. And it was this: I had no idea how to execute a hello or goodbye hug with friends.
It wasn't that I had affection dyslexia. I simply couldn't figure out which way to hug. Did my head go left? Or did it go right? For some reason when it came to hug time, I simply couldn't remember. This resulted in all kinds of problems like bumped heads or unintentional head holds.
All of this came to a head (so to say) when we were over for dinner at a friend's place with some other folks. Using my copious winter outerwear as an excuse, I completely bypassed the hello hugs. But soon it was time to say goodbye. And the first person I had to do this to was our friends' wife - we'll call her Apple Pie Ann because she baked such a killer fresh cut apple pie for us that no pie has measured up since.
So Apple Pie Ann approaches me and I get that funny, confused feeling again. Left? Or right? I must have visibly bobbed and weaved like Muhammad Ali because I could see Apple Pie Ann making compensating weaves to try and line up the hug. And thus it was that we both synchronized our weaves perfectly and ended up in a honking lip lock in the middle of the room surrounded by all our friends. We froze for several seconds, making matters worse.
Everyone laughed. I think the Drift Memsaab clapped her hands. Someone might have said "Get a room!"
It was a long drive back but if I remember correctly the Drift Memsaab chuckled all the way home and kept saying "I can't believe you..."
So it was that people then avoided hugging me. I could almost hear their loved ones say "Avoid going anywhere near that Lothario, honey"
But I did have one super friend who understood my pain. Her name was Suzie - although the Drift in-laws being from UP and chaste Hindi-like and all used to call her Suji (like that thing you make upma out of). And Suzie would simply grab my head and tuck it in the right corner whenever it was time to hug.
I've never said this to Suze but I'll say it now: thanks!
Previous 3 wheeler rides: House pets, Boxing Day, Carefree Errands, Phone Fool
- m's mom is a princess in the car
- ursula will stay far away from Aspi
- Which is way is down when it comes to temperature? protests Sania
- ~mad munky~ runs into a non-hugger during a recent bidaai
- Kanan recalls a similar hug misadventure during her younger days
- Anon defers to the other person when hugging
- leera's three step process to avoid awkward hugs
- Joules explains why hugs work for her
- It depends on the hugger for Pitu