Last week on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 3, Anand Raaj Anand humped a ladder. But before we get to that, let's talk about my other favorite - Hipinder Hopernath.
Picture Hipinder Hopernath right in front of your eyes. Then imagine putting a cross-hair on him so that he is divided up into four quadrants. Each limb is in one quadrant. If you are feeling particularly generous you can put his head into a fifth quadrant - although four should be good enough to illustrate the point.
Now each of Hipinder's four quadrants have a mini-brain of its own. I'm not sure where they are located or how the physiology works - but they are there I tell you. How do I know? Because whenever Hipinder dances, each mini-brain acts independently, thus achieving the considerable feat of moving each of the four limbs completely indepedently of each other.
To say Hipinder is uncoordinated would be too simplistic. It's like saying soccer is a game of kicking the ball. Actually soccer is a game of opening and closing spaces - and how its players play in those spaces. Similarly watching Hipinder dance is like watching an epic battle drama. Each of Hipinder's four fiefdoms battle for supremacy on the dance floor by doing what they think is best. Occassionally they form loose alliances - one foot might move in taal with say a hand. But these alliances are short lived. Then its back to Warzone Hipinder all over again.
In his wildcard performance, Hipinder's choreographer Lilian Mendes tried her best to hide him by putting him in some black mukhmali outfit and then dancing in front of him as much as possible dressed in a tasselled green number.
Anyway, back to Anand Raj Anand - who dances like the energizer bunny. The best thing about ARA is that he'll be all arms and legs but strangely enough his hips remains super tight - incapable of any coordinating movement. So when ARA dances, it appears he's executing super cool moves born of an alien race - its the physical equivalent of speaking in tongues. He's like a katputli on speed.
Last week ARA decided to pay homage to Rajnikanth. May the Gods strike me down for saying this, but Rajni - beloved though he may be around here - is an Amitabh Bachchan category dancer. So ARA would be the perfect person to execute this tribute. And what was on paper came to fruition as ARA danced like a rabid animal (in all fairness he had warned everyone that he had arrived in a "phaadu, junglee mood" - someone copyright that dialog, quick!)
After making out with his prop - a white ladder (2:32 into this vid), ARA donned Rajni style shades and yanked open the top of the ladder - which was supposed to shower flower petals all over his head. ARA got a bit carried away and lost his mark, thus causing the petals to drop in one unceremonious clump on his right shoulder.
Saroj Khan was so impressed with all this cavorting around that she called ARA "Govinda ka baap" - further fuelling the long standing rumor that Rajni might have sired most Bollywood actors from the 80s.
Sadly, neither Hipinder nor ARA are with us any longer on the show. The world of dancing weeps!