Thursday, April 16, 2009

Tell me about your mother on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 3

Something funny is happening on JDJ. First, it's turning a bit Freudian. And second, Judge Heehee has appointed herself the moral police of the show.

Remember how Gauhar and Hanif had verbal sparring matches on every show - and it eventually resulted in the ejection of Hanif at the hands of the judges ? That happened a couple of weeks ago.

Now paired with her new choreographer - Himanshu - Gauhar executed the following dance.

Gauhar is on the phone discussing wedding anniversary plans with Himanshu. (Stay with me here - its a dance so the phone is a fake one). Suddenly she hears a loud crash on the line. WTF? she wonders. Just then the doorbell rings. Himanshu has arrived.

"Ah you made it!" she exclaims. "How could I not for an occasion like this" says fake husband trying to cock his head cutely. Dancing ensues. Both strike numerous poses and execute a bunch of ballroom moves cocked like dancers in a Paso Doble. Then Himanshu melts away in the background. Phone rings. Gauhar picks up. "Your husband is dead!" the voice at the other ends says. Gauhar executes scenery chomping acting and crumbles to the floor.

And thus, Gauhar killed her choreographer on the show. Tremendously absorbing stuff.

"Who said models can't act" remarked Saroj Khan.

On to the whole moral police bit. Earlier this season, some dancer - I forget who - did a hugely romachuk dance on JDJ. At the end, Judge Heehee, aka Juhi Chawla, picked up the microphone and said "I loved it but you spread your legs a little too much in one move". Her implication was that the vulgarity of that move took away from the romance of the dance.

This was hilarious - the equivalent of Asha Bhonsle roasting some poor girl for singing "I wanna make love" on SRGMP - an annual event.

Ever since then I've been watching dances with bated breath, whooping with delight whenever some woman scissors her legs a little too widely. Surely, I tell myself, Judge Heehee will pounce on the poor girl! But no! Judge Heehee has not been very obliging on this front.

However, on last week's show the moral police swung into action from an unexpected quarter - and it was just as much fun to watch. Nicole Alvares, who is paired up with Karan Singh Grover aka The Hulk, danced with a blindfold (don't ask).

No sooner had the dance finished when Judge Heehee went: "The dance was great!" (waved hand around like patting down a bed sheet) "But you were peeking from under the blindfold weren't you? Come on, put your hand on your heart and admit it!"

Poor Nicole was flabbergasted. "No, No!" she insisted. Karan came to her rescue by suggesting they do the dance again to lay all doubts to rest. On hearing this Judge Heehee swallowed hard. But she kept on at it. Saroj Khan joined in. A delicious awkwardness settled in that was dispelled when Vaibhavi Merchant told everyone to take the choreographers word and get on with it.

"We used to do it when we were kids so I can tell!" continued Judge Heehee finally revealing where all this was coming from - personal childhood trauma!

What did I tell you? This show has psychological layers waiting to be peeled back like there's no tomorrow.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is a show that normal people watch? OR is this really just another fragment of Aspi's vivid imagination, please enlighten me..

Aspi said...

This is a show that people who are way too smart for regularly produced entertainment watch.

Lin said...

*I thought it was Juhi who said 'Who said models can't act.' Or maybe they both did.

Gauhar is a good dancer. But I hated the stupid melodramatic crap at the end. Maybe it's because I hate mushy stuff. I wanted to laugh. I also hated the stupid, "I love you Parul" at the end as well.

What I did like was Nishant and Shilpa's ending I think last week. Where she goes how much do you love me, and he goes this much, this much, and gives the heart. Now that was cute, without being too much. It may have been cheesy with regular dance, but I think the theme was either a mime or charlie chaplin. So it worked.

***I can't believe Juhi Chawla said that. What the hell? Pointing it out is much more vulgar than actually doing it. And this is something I wanted to point out before. But inspite of her heehee-ness, she's actually quite tough. She just does it with a smile and a sing song voice.

Speaking of which. A similar thing is going on in Dance India Dance. I swear, I hate freaking Zee. And I so think there is some other aspect going on in there to try to even out the three groups.

Zee before it aired, leaked about a "Kama Sutra' dance that may be edited. Lo and behold, when it aired, it didn't look edited at all, and people didn't get what so so bad. And another act was just as "romantic/sensual"

Anyway, the girl is eliminated. And she did a great job. Ugh. And at the same time, there was another one who danced to Beedi in a ridiculously over the top way. Like really embarrassing to watch. But there was no crap about that.

**As for Nicole. She did say she could see the floor. Then she said she could see nothing.

I don't think she had her head up high to see, because that's the posture. But if you can see the floor from beneath, and your head is held up high, then you get a better line of sight.

Anonymous said...

ahhh, now i get the viewer-ship, 'Don't touch the remote, else...'

Lin said...

Shiv gone, Shweta next?
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?newsid=1248066

musical said...

Ok, this was some seriously howlarious stuff :-D. What were you drinking when you wrote the captions ;). I almost fell from my chair :)).

He he, when i read "Himanshu" i ended up imagining THE Himanshu on the dance floor :).

Anonymous said...

"tequila with sangria" but the later part is not helping in reducing the effects of tequila...

Suhavna said...

just discovered ur Blog, - very funny, made me look at JDJ3 in a whole new light. Is it me or is this show totally addictive must be the Big Boss influence that's made it so hilarious as i never watched it before.

Who knew Bhagyashree was a hard ass and cute Juhi from the 80's would turn in botoxed Judge HeeHee

Aspi said...

Suhavna, welcome. Yes, who knew?!