Friday, September 25, 2009

Dil Bole Hadippa versus Wanted - by guest blogger Pani Lookerjee

Greetings! I am Pani Lookerjee - dhinchak, super-hit actress. Sure I'm struggling a bit these days but who isn't yaar. I'm actually happy about my new film Dil Bole. Its going to be a hit. What I'm not happy about is that producer of Wanted, Boney Kapoor, shooting his mouth off about our movie.

Boney, first let me say ke tera bhalaa ho (yes, I'm still in character - that's how good I am as an actress). No one at Surcharge Films wishes you ill. But what man?! You've come out swinging against my film. This must be addressed - for too long women have kept mum and not spoken up!

First you've said "Let Aditya Chopra make films for multiplexes. I’m happy reaching out to the masses". Oye, sathiya gayaa hai kya! We make a film steeped in Punjabi culture. We have a song called Discowale Khisko. We have cricket in our movie and you say its not for the masses!

Then you said I looked like a schoolboy in that film. Old time heroines like Asha Parekh and Saira Banu did cross-dressing but got away with it because they were "buxom ladies" you said and were thus captivating.

You know Boney, I was trying to captivate my audiences with my gorgeous eyes and hoping they'd connect with me up there. Lekin if I ever act in one of YOUR movies, I'll just STICK MY EYES ON MY BOOBS THEN!

And the final straw. You said: "The corporate guys know only about paper-work, nothing about filmmaking. We need individual producers with vision to bail the industry out of its present crisis". Okey dokie Boney mere bhai - naam to hai Boney aur itnaa hataa kataa jo hai tu. Let me remind you: you took a hit Telugu movie - Pokiri - and remade it almost scene for scene. Wah, wah - kya originality hai and what ability to pick a hit hai ji.

Aur yeh kya? You are actually boasting that there was a gun fight during the movie? Next time, try to make an original movie - especially one that doesn't have stale double-meaning jokes and definitely not Fardeen or Celina. Then we'll talk.

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

More on shid Kapur's ability to act?

Pani said...

My friend Shied Kapur? We told him to look hot and do the same thing he did in Jab We Met.

musical said...

:-D

Banno said...

drop by and get the inside info on dil bole hadippa : )

bollywooddeewana said...

Lol very funny post we want more of Pani Lockerjee on here

memsaab said...

Wah! Pani! I cannot wait to see you in this.

Boney said...

Pani, my wife can replace you in movies! Watch out, I'm making a movie with her!

Sribaby said...

Pani, ignore him - he's had too much again. We girls need to stick together.

woot said...

woopah Pani, and what do you hv to say to the new rising faces of Bollywood actresses - Priyanka, Kareena and Katrina?

woot said...

woopah Pani, and what do you hv to say to the new rising faces of Bollywood actresses - Priyanka, Kareena and Katrina?

Pitu said...

lol I am so not watching either of these mental movies. I suffered thru 'What's Your Rashee' yesterday as it is :p

Aspi said...

Sucker!

No srsly, I was planning to see it myself. So I shouldn't then, eh.

Pitu said...

You could, if you're feeling masochistic :X Whatever happened to Ashutosh, man!!

Aspi said...

Don't ask me. I never did like Lagaan, didn't see Swades and thought Jodhaa Akbar showed Gowarikar as a filmmaker without much vision.

Daddy's Girl said...

The funniest and scariest thing about this is how much Pani sounds exactly like I would imagine Rani to.

Aspi said...

Heh heh, I'll take that compliment. Basically the trick is to make Rani sound like Preity but less cutesy and more kadak.