Greetings! I am Pani Lookerjee - dhinchak, super-hit actress. Sure I'm struggling a bit these days but who isn't yaar. I'm actually happy about my new film Dil Bole. Its going to be a hit. What I'm not happy about is that producer of Wanted, Boney Kapoor, shooting his mouth off about our movie.
Boney, first let me say ke tera bhalaa ho (yes, I'm still in character - that's how good I am as an actress). No one at Surcharge Films wishes you ill. But what man?! You've come out swinging against my film. This must be addressed - for too long women have kept mum and not spoken up!
First you've said "Let Aditya Chopra make films for multiplexes. I’m happy reaching out to the masses". Oye, sathiya gayaa hai kya! We make a film steeped in Punjabi culture. We have a song called Discowale Khisko. We have cricket in our movie and you say its not for the masses!
Then you said I looked like a schoolboy in that film. Old time heroines like Asha Parekh and Saira Banu did cross-dressing but got away with it because they were "buxom ladies" you said and were thus captivating.
You know Boney, I was trying to captivate my audiences with my gorgeous eyes and hoping they'd connect with me up there. Lekin if I ever act in one of YOUR movies, I'll just STICK MY EYES ON MY BOOBS THEN!
And the final straw. You said: "The corporate guys know only about paper-work, nothing about filmmaking. We need individual producers with vision to bail the industry out of its present crisis". Okey dokie Boney mere bhai - naam to hai Boney aur itnaa hataa kataa jo hai tu. Let me remind you: you took a hit Telugu movie - Pokiri - and remade it almost scene for scene. Wah, wah - kya originality hai and what ability to pick a hit hai ji.
Aur yeh kya? You are actually boasting that there was a gun fight during the movie? Next time, try to make an original movie - especially one that doesn't have stale double-meaning jokes and definitely not Fardeen or Celina. Then we'll talk.