This being a post of rather indelicate nature - I implore readers of sensitivity to stay away. Please desist from reading. Why am I even writing it to begin with? Because I'm hoping a few of the people I have been unfortunate enough to have as passengers on flights will read this and take note. Besides, someone has to say it.
I'd like to start by mentioning that it's improper in public to insert your handkerchief into your body crevices. As an example, say you have a big blue handkerchief. You roll one end of it into a peak and then twist it in your ears to try and clean them. At this point it is important to remember two things: (1) you are probably cleaning nothing. In fact any doctor will tell you: all you are accomplishing is pushing the wax further down your ear and just as important: (2) hello, I'm sitting RIGHT next to you. When I see you do this - as a fellow passenger - I think less of you.
I think even less of you when you take that same handkerchief, unroll the corner and empty your nose into it. With a noise loud enough to wake the dead. Several times. You end the whole exercise with a satisfied sigh. Everyone turns to stare, thinking its me since I'm usually in the seat guarding the aisle. Then you neatly fold the handkerchief like nothing happened and place it in the middle of your lap. Surely you realize - at that point - that parked right next to your modesty are enough bacteria to keel Satan over.
Moving on: its also improper to share your gastric troubles with fellow passengers. Come on now, you know who you are. You decide to sleep in your seat and pull your blanket all around you. Then - hells bells, how to say this delicately - you pass gas. This apparently goes on for a quite a while and sometimes fellow passengers are even impervious to it. But then you decide to turn and badlo your karvat. This moves that blanket and lets all the foul air lose in the cabin. Dirty looks and exaggerated waves of my reading material in front of my nose don't seem to work as a hint.
I'd also like to mention that its illogic to assume that I don't realize what you are up to just because you shut your eyes really tight and pretend to be fast asleep. As a matter of fact, I know exactly what you've done. You - also,sir - I think less of.