Monday, February 08, 2010

Music Ka Maha Muqqabla: Enemies R Us

A few weeks ago on MkMM, just before SRK and KJo showed up to promote their now beleaguered movie - My Name is Khan - Himesh Reshammiya trotted on stage looking sharpish in a gray suit. In a matter of minutes he laid low the entire concept of the show. "How can the decision of each muqabla be decided by the people who sit in the back and not in the front?!" he thundered.

So what's with this front row-back row argument? Quite simple: its a class issue.

The audience in MkMM that gets the voting meters are the seated audience. In other words they are not the chavvani audience that forms Himesh's core fan group (and before anyone thinks I'm being classist, I count myself among Himesh's biggest fans). This means the upper class audience decides Himesh's fate. Not only does this eat into Himesh's votes but because our man has long been ostracized by the upper crust of Bollywood, this particular aspect of having his fate decided by the more moneyed hurts Himesh even more.

These days Himesh gets irritated quickly - he's become the Rocket Singh of Rageaholics. When this happens, his face takes on an expression of neutrality (ok, no jokes about how this is pretty much how he goes through his movies) and he crams in pause-less sentences into the microphone, not giving any chance for anyone to interrupt. Then he puts the mike down. This gesture of laying the mike down has such fear-inducing finality that no one says a word. Talk about technique!

This reached such nutty proportions that one singer - Amey Date, who now calls himself Aamaaya - lost his head. He took the fight, first to Himesh and then to the rest of the judges. The judges stayed their ground. Amey's blood boiled over - he staged that time tested technique of showing exasperation: he staged a walkout! Much cajoling by a bunch of angry looking producer-types failed to lure Amey back on stage. Everyone in the show begged for him to return. Mohit Chauhan, sensing an awesome opportunity to get some sympathy votes, strapped on a harmonica and sang something. He got perfect scores from the audience. The pressure piled on Amey, who still refused to budge.

Finally a couple of people just grabbed the poor singer and hauled him back on stage kicking and screaming. Seconds later Amey went hammer and tongs after Mika Singh, who got up and said "Idhar Aa beta!" At this point even Conan the Barbarian would have ducked out of sight. But Amey kept going. Poor Shankar Mahadevan buried his head in his palm.

All this was super entertaining!

Unfortunately for me, Mika has been losing his muqqablas steadily and was in danger of getting eliminated. With the unthinkable staring Mika the face, he took on Shaan, who has found the right mix of music and good natured muqabla to become one of the show's leading entertainers.

Vidya Balan and Arshad Warsi came on this episode to promote their new flick Ishqiya. The kicker? They both came dressed in character! This was something I had never seen before. Arshad came wearing his sexy-dangerous Surma Bhopali getup. Vidya came in a dowdy looking sari with her hair loose to one side.

"I've never seen you looking beautiful!" Mika exclaimed.

"You didn't think I looked good before?!" Vidya probed looking a little befuddled.

"I never saw you in that way before!" Mika countered.

Later Mika was so overcome by Vidya's beauty that he walked over, touched her feet and declared that Vidya was now his sister! This interchangeable saiyya-bhaiyya love is a proven way to entertain people. (See post here and here).

Happily this episode ended in a tie and Mika survived another round. How does a tie occur on this show you may ask? Well the 'computer' counts up to the first decimal. But if difference is less than half a point, the computer rounds UP both scores - regardless of which side of the half they are - to the same number. Wah, what an awesomely senseless computer. I want one for Diwali. But this raises the specter of rigged scores.

Like Mika himself once asked, is this show fixed? Given its sole purpose in life is to entertain me and this will happen only if there is drama in the competition, I sure hope so!

So on the main part of the show - the singing! Yes I seem to recall there was some.

17 comments:

musical said...

Wow! I salute your patience that you had to sit through this show! I hope I am not being over-critical, but Mika can get very irritating at times.

Arun said...

This show is mad! But there are some really good singers on this show. Rahul Vaidya, Vineet, Sharib. Next time talk about the music and singing please.

Anonymous said...

Appreciate the writeup but Lets not Mention Mikka , who is sooooooooooo irritating and not worth mentioning at this prestegious Blog.

Anonymous said...

Good one Aspi, I don't even watch the show and I am just rolling reading your review...keep watching I have to say.

Mind Rush said...

Himesh Besharmiya is not only a rageaholic but also a control freak. He is super manipulative and I dislike him more with each passing episode. He needs to have the last word, he is filled with narcissism, and has a vindictive streak. I know they keep him for the ratings but I can't wait for him to lose and leave.

Mind Rush said...

Now that I got that off my chest, let's talk Music not Muqqabala! Loving Sharib and also Debojit! Both are in form. The show's DJ seems really cool too...Aspi, can you interview him?

Aspi said...

Sheesh! That Sharib guy serenades one chick on the show and suddenly he's a fan favorite!

Anonymous said...

I Like Sharib's Nephew Shadab.
Comments on His Himness by MIndrush are Dot On.

Parveen Sibal said...

Guys : Do watch the Most Entaertaining show Dance India Dance.
Amazing Dancers from Small towns and their act is worth collecting.

I can say it is the Best Show on Desi TV and they are also starting Paediatric Dance India Dance soon.

Aspi said...

Paediatric Dance India Dance!? Sounds awesome Parveen. I need to watch this show.

Parveen Sibal said...

Kiddy Dance India Dance is yet to start but do lloup for some great dance Video's at Youtube. Just Check Dharmesh , and watch his master moves. It is worth your Time Dear Star Blogger !

You will also enjoy the dress of one of the Choreographer Judge at Dance India Dance.

poulami said...
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anamika said...
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Anonymous said...

aspi do u have any id of rahul vaidya.....

Aspi said...

Anon, sorry I don't. I know people who could reach him, but depends on what you have in mind. If you just want to shoot him fan mail, a referral won't help.

Anonymous said...

ok tahnx.....bt dnt b sorry at all man.....

Anonymous said...

bt i just want to tell him that he n his singing is out of this world.....bt if u can give me his id so......nywayzzzz its k