Friday, March 26, 2010

Interpreting the EPIC tweets of Shahid Kapoor

Bollywood celebrities now tweet in droves.

But among the sometimes cool, sometimes mediocre, sometimes nutty celeb masses, there is a genuis: Shahid Kapoor. Shahid is engaging and endearing on twitter. He shares his life without concern and really tries to connect with fans.

A few months ago, he emitted what is possibly the greatest tweet in the history of Bollywood tweeting. He said. "Nini not coming man...". For some reason, I find that funny, super-cool, profound and touching. It will be the name of any new personal blog I start.



But often Shahid's tweets get heavy and dense. Here I'd like to step in and reinterpret them for you. Hopefully it will motivate you to follow one of Bollywood's brightest twitteratis.

Tweet: whats up people up for some q n a go for it
Translation: Ask me questions I'm bored

Tweet: mornin all bak on set today after a while shootin a video for badmaash should b fun then a photoshoot for peta
Translation: I'm busy working

Tweet: woke all long day tom sleep tight shabbakhair
Translation: I'm awake but I clearly have a hangover

Tweet: KEEP IT REAL
Translation: I'm hopeless in Bollywood

Tweet: live the life u wanna live people n statr nw jus make sure ur not convenient with people be straight up tats wat i mean whenever i say
Translation: Sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble

Tweet: i question everythin i do all the time kinda like did i do the right thig or not dnt know if tats gud or not
Translation: I'm a self-doubter

Tweet: when u share ur life with others life begins to find its meaning n the time u touch the life of another is the time u truly start living
Translation: I just read a self-help book

Tweet: children really r the purest souls n the happiest ones too let them enjoy their childhood too much pressure on em to perform
Translation: I'm trying to snag some chicks with cuteness and promoting my upcoming film which has kids in it

Tweet: bak home tired n drained butr content
Translation: I work hard for my money

Tweet: wassup pple longest day 5 radio stations 8 hrs of talkin from andheri to parel happy to b talkin bout paahshala children education relevent
Translation: Massive press junket time

Tweet: woke people sleep tight shabbakhair
Translation: Good night

Tweet: i really feel the strongest form of love is surrender although we all know most things r out of our control we still like to believe that
Translation: I read another self-help book

Tweet: also its amazin hw some past memories have such strong associations things we forgot seem to become alive again
Translation: I'm missing you know who

Tweet: amazing hw sometimes feelings r so strong u feel almost controlled by em had a day like that sometimes answers to things r jus not there asmuch as u may search
Translation: My head hurts from thinking

Tweet: Is of no use pourin clean water in a dirty vessel so pour luv on those who r capable of acceptin it unadulterated :)
Translation: I had to clean the dishes today. I'd much rather read a self-help book

Tweet: Most just care when it suits em they say luv is da only thing which the more u give the more it grows but there is also this sayin that it
Translation: My girlfriends all suck!

Tweet: Eventually as far as the basics r met life is gud n keepin it simple is jus the way to b do wat makes u happy wat makes u smile n jus dnt Thin bout the bad stuff .. Jus deal with it .. I luv this sayin 'let ur worries die of neglect'
Translation: Talking is for nitwits. Just ignore the pain.

Tweet: most of the time v r jus lukin to do somethin to keep ourselves occupied so we dnt start thinkin bout life n all that we feel bout wher we r N u realize actually we give too much imp to so many things cause basically we have nuthin better to do .. :)
Translation: I'm looking for work. Anyone?

Get with the cool and follow Shahid on twitter

55 comments:

Ritu said...

I'm following, I'm following. He's cute and MAD!

Shuchi said...

Hi Aspi

Long time reader, first time commenter here.

After straining my grey cells to breaking point, I had recently figured that when Shahid says "woke", he means "okay". Your interpretations are making me re-think whatever little I had understood so far :)

Incidentally there's a "Shayad Kapoor" helping befuddled fans with literal translations of Shahid's tweets. http://twitter.com/shayadkapoor

Aspi said...

Shuchi, I get it now: woke. Man, I am so uncool and I'm so glad I'm becoming hip by way of Shahid.

About Shayad Kapoor, great concept. Doesn't quite work on twitter though. Somehow if he could just retweet and then translate that immediately after it might better.

Anonymous said...

thanks aspi. hilarious interpretations. i blocked shahid's tweets - such a bore and just couldn't stand it anymore. Its a wonder he's finding it hard to hang on to the girls. Imagine being dumped by Kareena, Vidya Balan and Priyanka Chopra. Big time flop!

Anonymous said...

Please interpret this:

Vaseline for men is really good. I use it for lubrication. Go for it, boys! http://twitter.com/shahidkapoor/status/10683622924

Hahahaha!

Aspi said...

@Anon, I read ALL celeb tweets, at least the first 100. I find myself not reading blogs at all anymore :)

Translation of that tweet: I now endorse vaseline and I also use it! Thanks for planting that question in my twitter stream, Corporate.

MsBlogger said...

HAHAHAHAHA! I'm actually following u on my blogroll after this!

'I had to clean dishes today' hehe, you should do this for a living!

He doesn't actually bore me! Its not that surprising considering what a fan I am... but he means well and some of his tweets can amuse, sometimes unintentionally like the Vaseline one ;) But generally they make good bedtime reading...

You make him sound so simple and confused! Its hilarious!

Saritha said...

You sure look for the best in everything Aspi.And actually reading those crazy lines and finding the best possible translation ever,well only You could have done that :)

I loved Shahid in Jab we met,but after reading these,I feel he's behaving like a 70 year old.Heck,my Father's more fun at 70.

Really not crazy about Twitter.It sucks the positive energy out of me.Just to keep up with so many celebs seems so exhaustive.

Mind Rush said...

Drift saab,
You are so bad n heartless to exploit Shayad K Poor's heartfelt and intensely feeling tweets.
But it takes patience and genius to squeeze entertainment in this manner.
Love ur post!

Aspi said...

MsBlogger, Saritha and Mind Rush, thanks! I love Shahid Kapoor actually. He's the last of the freshly innocent great Bollywood types left.

MsBlogger said...

Yeah when you read his tweets and interviews he really does sound quite innocent at times!

However, what would you say about Ranbir, is he cute and innocent in your opinion? He acts it on screen but isn't in real life imo...

Although then again you might have just been sarcastic there and I just didn't get it... :( But reading it again, you don't sound all that sarcastic...

Aspi said...

I was referring to Shahid's screen persona and film choices so wasn't being sarcastic. Think Tom Cruise at the start of his career - he carried that shiny WASPishness to great heights. In real life was Tom Cruise all that? Probably not - he might have been one minivan crash away from being exposed for all you know.

MsBlogger said...

But what do you thing of his persona in real life? From his interviews and tweets and when he's on tv shows?


I guess onscreen persona depends heavily on the roles you play... he's done a few boy next door roles so I guess that part of his onscreen presence stands out...

Of course you have a point that we can never really know the real him, he may be very different to what he lets on, but he has always hit me as so... FRANK

Aspi said...

I think Shahid's a sweetheart who is growing cynical as his power base grows. He's a bit horny - who isn't. And he's enjoying his new found status as a bad boy. But I don't quite think he is - he puts on more than he actually is.

He's honest - but you can sense he now bridles his opinions a bit. Probably his biggest personal weakness is that he isn't a party types - essential in Bollywood.

He really has the potential to be a huge superstar - I once read an interview where Vishal Bhardwaj said he could be a really good actor too if he stopped focusing on his hairstyle and six pack all the time.

MsBlogger said...

Yes I guess him being a little bit of recluse is a setback...

I also think he plays up the hardness sometimes... but I guess in his mind there is the fear of being typecast as the lover boy who can do nothing else... He's entered unfamiliar territory with Kaminey but he wants others to know he is ready for it and shows that thru tweets like 'i guess uall love me evil', atleast thats my interpretation.

Yes I read Vishal's comment too and it is either a joke or he's just thinking of the kind of cinema he does... gritty stuff that doesn't give a damn how you look... Shahid does other types of roles too where he might even be there just for eye candy (read: Dil Bole Hadippa)and anyways, its the actor onscreen and a lot of people make a judjement on if they like him just by looking at him, so I can understand him caring a lot about his looks.

In fact, later in an interview Shahid said he didn't understand why Vishal had said this considering that he had told him to grow his hair and get six pack abs... makes Vishal sound a litlle hypocritical there...

Interesting idea... him holding his opinions back hmmmm can you think of any examples?

Aspi said...

I remember an episode of Tere Mere Beach Mein where he was straining at the leash to answer a question about whether star kids have it made or not. He answered honestly but he deflected quickly. It doesn't pay to be completely honest in the industry.

Banno said...

Definitely following. You tweet, no? What's the link?

MsBlogger said...

Oh yeah... where he said that if we were't politically correct, we'd admit star kids got plenty more second chances....

Yes definitely pays to have some tact in Bollywood...

Do you think Ranbir has what it takes to make it big in Bollywood? I don't really want him to because of his unfair advantage of his parents... but he has a massive fan following and I think him and Shahid will be like the next Aamir-SRK. Shahid as Aamir... famous for his roles and Ranbir as SRK famous for his fan following, what do u think?

Aspi said...

Banno, I'm at aspih on twitter but I'm hugely boring I warn you :)

MsB those are interesting thoughts about Ranbir-Shahid. Its hard to predict but I'll tell you this: Ranbir is hyper smart and so you have to think he'll be around the industry in some capacity or the other.

I think he's a severely limited actor but that hasn't stopped others before. I get the feeling he would make a much better director (I get the same sense with Abhishek Bachchan as well). If he chose to go behind the camera he has the potential to outstrip the fame of his Dad and his uncles (latter is easy :)).

MsBlogger said...

Yes when someone has com in with such a bang, they must be an intelligent actor... but then again, I guess he got a lot of help from his relatives... I mean, he's never had to even auditio for a role!

In that second para, do you mean Ranbir or Shahid?

Interesting idea... Ranbir and Abhi probably would make pretty good directors.

But what annoys me is when the media decide to favour an actor, because everyone knows the media can make or break you

Aspi said...

MsB, yes Ranbir has never had to audition for a role - but few in Bollywood do anyway. Its always about connections - Ranbir has more than others because he's an RK guy. On the other hand, he had worked in the industry (Asst. Dir on SLB's Black for e.g.) before his starring role so he's paid some dues.

Second para I meant Ranbir. I think Shahid would be a disaster as a director - he's very much a performer in front of the camera.

MsBlogger said...

Shahid did over 100 auditions dspite being a dancer and having his father... I always end up having more respect who really earn their stardom, not that you can be blamed for the family you are born into...

I guess the post in Black counts for something, but of course his connections to the grandfather of
Bollywood helped ;)

I don't know if Shahid would make a good director or not, he seems to have an eye for detail but I don't know if he has the creative ability.

Shahid or Ranbir, who gets your vote?

Anonymous said...

I guess I’m the only one to find Shahid to be completely narcissistic – a male version of Priyanka. The guy purses his lips for a pouty look, wears butt pads and make-up off screen for God’s sake. He comes across as immature and shallow to me.

Someone who is lucky to have filmy connections else he would go the way of Dino and Upen.

Drift Memsaab said...

Clearly this post generated a lot of comments...A sign of Shahid's star power and magnified by your funny take!

Aspi said...

I'll pick Ranbir because he has the better ecosystem (i.e. contacts and support). I think Shahid needs to stop acting for his friends and pick his directors VERY carefully.

Aspi said...

Anon, Shahid has been taking his looks a bit too seriously yes? But its hard to blame him - he has them :)

Dino does have some life in his career. Upen on the other hand - well...

MsBlogger said...

I meamt as an actor and person...

But yes Shahid needs to desperately stop doing films for Ahmed and Ken, even if I am looking forward to Paathshaala due to its concept... Ranbir has great contacts, lucky thing!

So as n actor and person, who would you go with?

Filmi Girl said...

Shahid is waaaaay epic with the tweeting. @iHrithik has potential but he's just not up there with the quantity of gems that Shahid puts forth...

Faizan said...

This is absolutely hilarious. I never understand what he is saying but he can always make me laugh! :)

Anonymous said...

some of these comments are really mean...how can you judge someone's character when you don't even know the person?

Aspi said...

Anon, don't get us wrong - most of us love Shahid Kapoor. We are just enjoying him differently.

Judging people is a human tendency. On this blog you shouldn't take it seriously.

ajnabi said...

OMG, I'm one of his biggest (non-insane) fangirls, but the boy CANNOT TWEET. To SAVE HIS LIFE. It's funny because his interviews are normally pretty articulate. I sincerely hope he's not paying anyone to be his Twitter persona.

This in particular: Tweet: amazing hw sometimes feelings r so strong u feel almost controlled by em had a day like that sometimes answers to things r jus not there asmuch as u may search
Translation: My head hurts from thinking
is still making me laugh.

Aspi said...

ajnabi, great approach to enjoying celebs.

Mind Rush said...

You should consider pulling together your funniest blog posts and publish them as a paperback. WOuld provide great entertainment on long flights! On second thoughts, I might get thrown off the said flight for laughing too much :-))

Aspi said...

Really? I should pitch it? I'd get thrown out of the Harper Collins office in a heartbeat :)

Mind Rush said...

Drift saab, first of all, you'll charm the Acquisitions Editors everywhere.
And if they don't make you a great offer, self publish!
Advertise your book on your blog, and that of your friends' blogs.
Get Shahid to tweet it.
Get Vishal-Shekhar to sing about it.
And hire me as your publicist (I need a new job anyways!) :-))

memsaab said...

I'm extremely fond of "emitted what is possibly the greatest tweet..."

Tweeters are EMITTING. Not twitting. Or twatting. We don't need a new word, we have a perfectly serviceable old one! Genius.

musical said...

Brilliant, Aspi ji! Kudos for seeing the sunshine where there may be none ;).

Thanks a ton for the interpretations- i would have had a bad headache if i had to read these on my own..

Shuchi, that was beyond hilarious!

suhail said...

Hi Aspi,

First of all, I love your Blog but one complaint you are damn slow in blogs...if i am addicted to a blog, I expect a new one every day...Comeone..Show us your love.

Secondly on the topic of Shahid, I feel the guy is very very boring and just THINKS too much..seeing him on Reality Shows and through his interviews, he comes across trying too hard to be SOMEONE he aint and showing himself as a Koolster.

He is clearly too much on his Looks and goes extra mile on the Lipstick, the pouts, the fake cute expressions. I think he knows his fanbase is Girls/Kids so trys to hard to be a CUTIE.

The Tweet is not his(done by someone on his behalf) or just him trying to be FAKE as he usually is.

One Major Complaint on the New Generation Star, everyone is trying to appeal to the NRI Market..Look at theem, kool Tshirts, six packs, lipstick and a little bit of hip lines thrown in. I dont see a new generation of Govinda,Amitabh, Sanjay Dutt or SALMAN KHAN in anyone of them...Mass Appeal and Earthly Personality...who do you think HAS It..

Shahid said...

woke ppl haha but i know you all luv me big hug shabbakhair

Aspi said...

mind rush, memsaab, musical and suhail, many thanks! I wish I could blog more but work is a bit overwhelming these days and cuts into almost all of my non-work time :).

suhail, great point in the last para - was just thinking about that while catching up with the Music Ka Maha Muqabla finale.

Anonymous said...

completely off the point, but I think I should add to my sweet tweet, that Driftji is on TOI, way to go, Drift sahib !
I should have gotten that autograph when I had the chance, I knew it !

Anonymous said...

here's a peek into shahid's personality - reeks of arrogance. Can't see him making it big with this attitude. Give me Hrithik and Ranbir anyday.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/bollywood/news-interviews/Shahid-Anushka-Showdown-on-ZOOM-sets/articleshow/5746554.cms

Aspi said...

Holy shnikey! Is there a video link to the Zoom fracas?

Anonymous said...

Drift in Times of India, where???

Aspi said...

Not in the newspaper - its just an online blog. I'll post links soon, looks a little awkward right now - but working on that platform to make the blog look better.

MsBlogger said...

That link someone has posted on the Shahid Anuskha fight, it was an April Fools day joke, some badmashi to promote Badmaash Company, they did it in Zoom, Headlines Today, MTV Bakra and even told the newspapers that Shahid was going to get married! U obviously fell for it!

Here's the Bakra link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6tk541cqZXk
Pretty hilarious imo!

Aspi said...

Awesome! Thanks much MsBlogger - I really wanted to see that and did hear about this being an April Fool's thingie from Meiyang's tweet.

Mind Rush said...

Here's the link to Drift saab's new blog--Times of India!!

http://blogs.timesofindia.indiatimes.com/line-of-sight/entry/postergyaan-the-secret-language-of

musical said...

Very Aspi-esque fun and witty write up at the TOI blog, Sirjee :).

I am always amazed at how you balance everything so well! Kudos! And THANK YOU for Drift!

Aspi said...

Thank you! I'll be slowing the Drift down just a little bit so I can try out this other one. Let's see if we can shake up the world of old media with a little Drift-like nonsense.

Jennifer said...

so what do you, Aspi Saab, think of the Priyanka Chopra craze? Is she making Bollywood better or taking it to the drop-off cliff to Hollywood?

Anonymous said...

is priyanka chopra taking bollywood in the right direction with the extra boldness.

Aspi said...

Define 'extra boldness'. Are you asking about the fact that Priyanka is among the more physical of our actresses?

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