Karthik Calling Karthik: Why it worked

In the groundbreaking Karthik Calling Karthik - or as I like to call the movie "Just star-69 his ass!" - there is a moment early on in which Karthik's life has fallen apart. He has no friends. The girl he loves doesn't know he exists. His coworkers have no respect for him. His boss chews him out constantly. He's been humiliated and fired in front of his entire office. He's collected his things in a box and boarded an elevator. And the blinking down arrows on the elevator panel unrelentingly mirror his state.

Debutant director Vijay Lalwani's movie is full of these storytelling markers. Sometimes they are bit heavy handed, for example the completeness of a Rubik's Cube is used to communicate Karthik's State of Life. But more often than not, they serve the story well.

Since the story of KCK has been documented in numerous places, we'll skip the pleasantries. What is Lalwani's style like? I suspect he's a better writer than a director - although he's pretty darn good with the latter job too. His story holds well together - it misses a few tricks in the parts that he's deliberately tweaked to be cinematic. Wouldn't it have been cool, for example, if he had tied things back to the reason the phone was the instrument of Karthik's salvation and later affliction?

Lalwani's scenes are well written - they seem crisp enough. His dialogs are direct and real. When he is directing though I felt his scenes weren't calibrated fully. Often they seemed to be missing a beat or two. Some were held for too long. Because Lalwani stages his scenes with a slow steady hand, he feels compelled to punch them up with a non-stop background score. With time Lalwani will develop enough confidence in his ability to tell a story that he doesn't need to resort to that.

What really brings the movie alive is its production. Farhan Akhtar and Ritesh Sidhwani produced the movie under their Excel Entertainment banner and they seem to have assembled a crack team for Lalwani. The songs composed by Shankar Ehsaan Loy work really well all through the movie. The background music - although overused - by Midival Punditz and Karsh Kale underscores the scenes. The production design (Rachna Rastogi) is gorgeous, the sets zing with character. Farhan and Deepika Padukone's styling (Niharika Khan) is wonderful. In the more suspenseful sequences, there is some nifty editing (Aarti Bajaj) that ratchets up the drama. Against all penny-pinching Bollywood tactics, Lalwani gets to insert a sweeping CGI shot in the movie that is used to depict the hurtling nature of a journey into the scary unknown.

But enough about the visual style of the movie: the subject matter really scored with me. The movies I enjoy the most are the ones that open themselves up for debate afterwards. And I'm not just talking about debates around costumes and dance steps. Lately in Indian cinema bold directors have been making provocative movies that ask questions about religion, moral values, community and country. But KCK is a film that asks questions about the self. In fact, KCK is one of the most introspective mainstream Bollywood movie I've seen - one in which its acceptable for the main character to leave everything behind (lover, family, earthly possessions) to heal himself without a specific timetable.

Farhan Akhtar plays Karthik with a crestfallen body language. He is an honest grunt crippled with a lack of confidence brought on by childhood trauma. The script and dialogs are tuned to him a lot - so he works from an advantage here. There is a brief scene in the movie where you get to see a very different Karthik and I wish that we had seen more of Farhan doing that. His costar Deepika Padukone looks like a dream in this movie. Freed from the long, over-curled tresses that seemed to weigh her down in Love Aaj Kal, she develops a twinkle-eyed zing in her acting. She still needs to shape her characters better - someone called Shonali Mukherjee (Deepika's character) doesn't often speak English with a distinct Marathi lilt.

KCK has a payoff in the movie that might be deemed a disappointment. Its certainly not cinematic enough for a traditional multiplex hit. But when you do something truly groundbreaking (and not just because you are the FIRST to release the movie on YOUTUBE on a WEDNESDAY type of groundbreaking), you have to introduce it to new audiences gradually. KCK does well here despite ending up perhaps too neatly wrapped up.

Yet KCK forces you to look at an area of health that Indians have stunningly avoided dealing with for years. And it tells you that in this case, the issues aren't happening to other people who you can feel sorry about and do kind things for. In these cases, the issues may be calling you.

Inside the music of Teen Patti with composer Sulaiman Merchant

How did Sulaiman Merchant and Salim Merchant go from being prolific scorers of background music (they still do this) to among the top composers in Bollywood films today?

They started with a huge hit on Dor (Yeh Honsla). They produced the nation's most enduring sports anthem on Chak De! India, which revitalized Shahrukh's mid-career slump. They mixed dance, emotion, masti and passion on Madhuri's comeback vehicle Aaja Nachle. Just as they were getting warmed up, Salim-Sulaiman created a bunch of polished gems on the sleeper hit Fashion, a movie which made an A-list star out of Priyanka Chopra.

Their last few releases? Kurbaan, Rocket Singh, Pyaar Impossible.

What's so special about Salim-Sulaiman? Their compositions are diverse (they do club, caberet, Hindustani, operatic, electonica, house, bare bones) but their songs are always drenched in emotion.

They have songs out for the new Amitabh Bachchan-Ben Kingsley starrer Teen Patti. Its five songs, three remixes, no fillers, massive entertainment. I invited Sulaiman to talk to the Drift about his music and the music of Teen Patti.

AspisDrift.com: Hi Sulaiman, welcome! You've been working with your brother Salim for a while. You've gone from being composers to BIG composers in Bollywood. How do you work together? I have two boys who are ready to kill each other at any given time! What is your process like?

Sulaiman: We now have an understanding. We've worked together for years now. So obviously there is a comfort zone on what to do and how you do it. We have our work cut out for us. Salim does musical arrangements, I do the percussion. Works perfectly!

We have our own studio - we have a great facility. We check in every day and create music. Its like any day at the office.

AspisDrift.com: Do you have a set of people you work with or do you handle your own production?

Sulaiman: 99% of the time we do our own production - unless its a collaboration on the international front. Otherwise its [just] Salim and me.

AspisDrift.com: What do you and Salim play in terms of instruments?

Sulaiman: I play the drums. I have very good knowledge of the tablas although I don't play it anymore. Salim on the other hand plays keyboards but he is also very well versed with sitars and guitars and bass. So he does all the string arrangements.

AspisDrift.com: You know, I hear Salim singing on your songs. You don't sing?

Sulaiman: I don't! But the way things are going, I'm going to start singing. [jokes] Its the only thing to do right? To be in the limelight, you have to go out and sing. When we do concerts I'll go out and sing.

AspisDrift.com: But will you record a song you think?

Sulaiman: I don't know - we'll see!

AspisDrift.com: Since Salim isn't around, I have to ask: Who is the better singer?

Sulaiman: Definitely Salim! He is a singer, I am the wannabe singer. Maybe if I sing a little more, he'll recognize the talent and give me a song to sing.

AspisDrift. com: Who is the bigger party animal between you two?

Sulaiman: We have our phases. Its Salim sometimes. Sometimes its me. I have a baby on the way so I'm lying low these days - supporting my wife. You'll see less of me on twitter and Facebook and other sites.

AspisDrift.com: I can't resist asking you this: what are your earliest memories of growing up with Salim? Was he always breaking your stuff or something?

Sulaiman: We used to fight a lot like brothers always do. Everyone does I think. We did all that for 27 or 28 years - fought constantly. But the musical aspiration always kept us going and together. We stopped talking for a little bit, but it was the music that brought us together.

AspisDrift.com: Your new movie Teen Patti has a female director (Leena Yadav) which is rare in Bollywood. Was it different working with her than other male directors?

Sulaiman: She was a little more understanding. I wouldn't say a lot more so - but she could understand what we were going on about. She is also quite intelligent and well versed with filmmaking. It was a breeze getting her to understand things. She was very open to ideas in terms of songs.

If you came up with a song with heavy percussion and rock elements - not an average song - it becomes difficult to convince a director or producer about the viability or sustainability of the song. But it really worked with [the producer] Ambika [Hinduja] and Leena.

We finished this music over a year ago. We came back and refinished the album and they had no problems with it. They just said 'Go ahead you know what you are doing'

AspisDrift.com: I don't know if you've noticed this but your music has great songs for women.

Sulaiman: I haven't noticed that at all! Can you give me an example?

AspisDrift.com: Well women have maybe one great song to sing on most CDs. As item numbers have become less popular, women have less and less hit songs to sing. But for some reason on your CDs - Luck had great songs for women, Teen Patti does, so does Pyaar Impossible, Shruti Pathak and Neha Bhasin got great songs on Fashion.

Sulaiman: Its just that we like to try different voices. Whenever we find a good voice, we desperately want them to sing for us. With men we haven't had much luck.

We've also heard a lot of these voice before. We've recorded with Neha back when she was with Viva (Channel [V] Popstars). We know her since then and for that song we said 'lets try her' and it really happened.

Same thing with Shruti when we brought her in for Mar Jaawa. We knew she could sing, we didn't know if she could sing that song. But we brought the song down low and she sang it really low. It worked for her and it worked for the song!

AspisDrift.com: Ok, let's talk about the songs on Teen Patti and start with Neeyat (vocals: Sunidhi Chauhan)

Sulaiman: We've used cellos and double bass - basically a string orchestra - to start off the song. Leena and Ambika wanted a European track - which is why you hear all the accordions. That turned into a cabaret.

We picked Sunidhi to sing because I don't think anyone else could have done that song. She jumps an octave in that song - its very difficult to do.

She is singing this song everywhere these days! We just saw her recently on the Mirchi Awards and she did that as the first track. It really showcases her talent!

[Be sure to check out: The making of Neeyat]

AspisDrift.com: Intezar (vocals: Naresh Kamath)

Sulaiman: Naresh is a really dear friend and we needed a rock voice. But we needed the voice to be gruff and younger. The picturization is on a 17, 18 year old guy. So the voice casting had to be younger. We initially thought of KK, but he wouldn't work that well - he has a more mature voice. We tried a couple of people before we had Naresh do it.

AspisDrift.com: Teen Patti (vocals: Salim Merchant)

Sulaiman: This song was a last minute addition into the album. We wanted a club track. Clubby tracks are easy to make but very difficult to formulate because they need a hook to take the song forward. Irfan [Siddiqui] wrote a great hook for us - 'Ikka Badsha Rani Queen / Yehi hai bajate Teen / Patti ke ghulam hai sab'

When we finished the song - Salim sang dummy vocals to see if the lyrics worked. When Leena heard it she liked it and we decided to keep it. It has more of a casual get with an Indian and bit of a Western touch.

AspisDrift.com: Life is a Game (vocals: Sonia Saigal, Sonia with Anushka Manchanda on the Hindi version)

Sulaiman: This was the first song we laid down for the track. Mr. Bachchan's voice was a later addition. This song set the mood for the entire film for us. It was just a song - all about the game, no situation, nothing. It's one of the very few songs around you will hear that is completely in English. We have a Hindi version of it for the marketing.

When we finished composing we realized no one had the right English accent to pull it off. There is always that bit of Hindi instruction that comes out even when singing in English. Sonia just did it perfectly, she rocked.

She's sung a song before this for us in Aaja Nachle. You know when Madhuri gets introduced during the dance practice - that was an English song that Sonia sang. It went unnoticed I guessed. [Much embarrassment on my part here for not remembering Sonia]

AspisDrift.com: Summertime (vocals: Joey Alvares)

Sulaiman: Summertime is a very old song by Joey Alvares - we wanted a familiar song on this CD. It started off as a small bit that needed to be picturized. Initially we thought we'd do it ourselves but then we thought let's try to recreate that song differently.

Summertime is a very jazzy song. So we redid it as a breakbeat, electronica song. To keep the authenticity of the track, we got Joey to do the vocals. Its a nice blend of a jazz rythmn and a modern production.

AspisDrift.com: Cool, what else are you working on?

Sulaiman: We are working on a couple of films but we can't talk about it - so I won't. We are finally getting on the road to do live shows. So we are doing rehearsals. There is some talk about being in the US.

AspisDrift.com: Let me know if you come to Chicago for a show. Thanks so much for doing this and good luck with the baby!

Also:

• Salim-Sulaiman's official web site
• Sulaiman on Twitter
• Salim on Twitter
• The songs of Teen Patti on Smashits
• The theatrical trailer of the movie
• Teen Patti on Youtube
• The director Leena Yadav talks about Teen Patti

Why Suraj "Give Me Some Sunshine" Jagan's career is Red Hot Right Now!

Last time we caught up with Suraj Jagan on the Drift, he had vocalized the first death metal song (Zehreelay on Rock On!!) in a Hindi movie and gotten into a lot of shit on screen by first glaring at Farhan Akhtar and later butting heads with Arjun Rampal.

Since then, Suraj's career has exploded. As rock songs proliferated Bollywood soundtracks, Suraj (along with this other guy we talked about a while ago) sang song after song. A lot of them were flagship compositions. More work followed. An entire generation of fans discovered Suraj's raspy voice and ferocious growl.

Then last year, a little song called Give Me Some Sunshine remapped Suraj's career. Handpicked, against type, by composer Shantanu Moitra to sing the lilting melody - Suraj sang something he hadn't before for films. The movie was 3 Idiots, India's biggest hit since Gadar and possibly India's biggest international hit.

"Give Me Some Sunshine" got heavy airplay and became an instant favorite. Suraj was nominated for and won the Stardust award for best male performance in a song beating out the likes of Masakali, I mean Mohit Chauhan. He dedicated the song to 'all those people who thought I was an idiot to start singing in the first place".

I decided it was time to check in on Suraj and catch up.

AspisDrift.com: Suraj, you've been singing gangbusters in films since Rock On!! What changed? Was it the extra visibility for you? Was it the need of the hour? Did you start attending every party in town?

Suraj: There wasn't much visibility for me after Rock on and no, I did not attend every party in town!

What has happened is that after Rock On!!, rock as a genre, got firmly established in the Hindi film scene. Singers like me have greatly benefited from this, as rock is now accepted in the Bollywood scene. Also nowadays voices are being ‘cast’ for songs. The old formula of just taking popular voices and fitting them into a song is changing - which is great for me and other new voices.

AspisDrift.com: Which songs are you are proudest of?

Suraj: Zehreelay for sure cos I think it’s the first hard rock song in a Hindi film. I’m glad that I was part of the composition as well [in the movie].

AspisDrift.com: Which song are you most thankful for?

Suraj: Give Me Some Sunshine! This song has definitely given me a lot of sunshine!

AspisDrift.com: You've locked down the rock song genre in Bollywood. Does anyone ever offered you anything different - like say a sappy romantic song?

Suraj: I recently recorded a romantic song for a very famous music director. He took it up as a challenge to make me sing like that...hahahaha!

AspisDrift.com: I heard Shantanu Moitra wrote "Give me some sunshine" with you in mind. True?

Suraj: We were doing a radio interview together where he mentioned that if for some reason my voice was not approved by the film makers he would’ve changed the composition. I was blown when I heard that, and I’ll always be grateful to him for that.

AspisDrift.com: You won the 'New Musical Sensation - Male' at the Stardust awards this year. You really had a go at your critics in that speech. Was there a time when you doubted yourself and thought about a call center job?

Suraj: Ever since I started singing I’ve heard from some members of the family and so called well wishers make comments like “you are a failure, loser: etc. So this was just my way of saying - 'In your face, motherfuckers!'

And no I have never ever thought of doing anything other than sing…even in the most darkest of times.

AspisDrift.com: What is it with these awards? Do you know you are going to win before the show or is it like a total surprise?

Suraj: I didn’t even know I was nominated till someone saw it in the magazine. So ya it was a total surprise, and actually winning it was the biggest surprise!!

AspisDrift.com: Speaking of shows, will we ever see you on a music reality competition show like Sa Re Ga Ma Pa or Indian Idol? I'd love to see what would happen if say Anu Malik or Himesh Reshammiya tried to mess with you.

Suraj: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there..

AspisDrift.com: Suraj, last time I interviewed you I remember you kept your answers short and concise. So this time I'm going to have you do one better and describe each music composer you've worked with in ONE word. Ready?

Suraj: Vishal-Shekhar: Brilliant
Shantanu Moitra: Sharp
Shankar Ehsaan Loy: Harmony
Pritam: Hitmaker
Gourov Dasgupta: Guitar God

AspisDrift.com: Final question, guess what my favorite Suraj Jagan song is these days?

Suraj: Rang De? [from My Name is Khan]

AspisDrift.com: Nope, actually its the title track for Karthik Calling Karthik. Its hard to steal a song from Shankar Mahadevan, but that is what just happened on that track.

Suraj's Bollywood Discography

1. Title track from Karthik Calling Karthik (2010)
2. Rang de from My Name Is Khan (2010)
3. Maula from Hide & Seek (2010)
4. Give Me Some Sunshine from 3 Idiots (2009)
5. Dil Kare from All the Best (2009)
6. Chalte Chalo from Toss (2009)
7. Saanson Ka Rukna, Humse Jo Churaiye Humko Hee, Kya Hua Hoo Hoo, Love Love Love and Run Run Run (2009) from Straight
8. Sooni Raah Pe from Stoneman Murders (2009)
9. Zehreelay from Rock On!! (2008)
10. Hijack Theme from Hijack (2008)
11. Missing Sunday from Sunday (2008)
12. I am a Bad Boy from Bhram (2008)
13. Yeh Faasle (remix) from Rama Rama Kya Hai Drama (2008)
14. No Big Deal from Money Hai Toh Honey Hai (2008)
15. Zindagi (not released) from Brides Wanted (2007)
16. Hey Johnny from Johnny Gaddaar (2007)
17. Dum Lagaa from Dil Dosti Etc (2007)

Suraj's pics by Paddy Arvind Shenoy

Wake Up Sid Revisited: How to put Fresh into Ghisa Pita

Its not rare to find a shiny new talent do something interesting in a film. But this happens rarely enough that I find it exhilariting whenever I see it: a brand new talent with the weight of expected commercial success doing something non-commercial with the confidence of a near-auteur.

Wake Up Sid is first-time director Ayan Mukerji's Coming of Age update for a generation of young Indians growing up on their parents' eco-boom affluence.

Consider this: Ayan was 26 when he made this movie last year. He made it for Karan Johar's Dharma Productions. He made it with Ranbir Kapoor - a whip smart actor but with a non-existent track record at the box office at signing. All of the above were under intense pressure to deliver commercial success with this flick. What thrilled me to see is that Ayan did it differently - with the kind of super cool confidence that seems to say: I know what I'm doing.

So what does Ayan do that is so different and hatke in this flick? Its his pacing. Its languorous, leisurely (its the antithesis of star Ranbir's other hit last year Ajab Prem). Early on the pace of the scripts mirrors WUS's titular character's life: meandering, laid-back, lacking a well-defined direction. Later as Sid begins to mature and become a more responsible person, the story develops plot inflections, if not plot points. All through the movie Ayan maintains a laid-back narrative, taking his time to play out his scenes and flesh out his characters.

If you look at WUS closely, its full of standard movie archetypes and happenings. (Ayan is a self-confessed 'product of the 90s' and spent a lot of time watching Karan Johar's movies). But because they are handled so differently, they feel familiar yet different.

Opening with an Exposition
Ok, Indian movies are full of these where the star is introduced in some epic way. But the opening shots of WUS - in which Ranbir struggles to focus on his studies - are playful and punched with nifty music (Shankar Ehsaan Loy scored the movie's songs). Thus they are rendered cute. But because the focus is on particular traits of Ranbir's character, they don't feel like exploitative fluff where a star is being introduced.

The spoiled brat
Yes, there is one in every growing up movie. But in this one, instead of being an uncaring, aggressive brat, Sid is a zoned out, self-centered but caring, entitled and aware brat. Life comes easy to Sid simply because he has his Dad's money to spend and he has no qualms doing it (he answers the question 'what do you do' in the movie with 'I spend my Dad's money'). Because Ranbir nails the loose limbed body language of a slacker, Sid feels like a fresh, lovable spin on the stereotypical brat.

The crazy, lovable friends
Ayan hurdles over this necessary stereotype by doing the following. He refrains from making the friends over-cute. He doesn't make them slapstick funny (like in say Jaane Tu...) He gives them crises of their own to quickly fill them out (one has a weight problem, another is dumped by the love of his life).

The sacrificing, all-loving Maa
Easily the most annoying of all Hindi-film stereotypes, the Maa in WUS is played by Supriya Pathak with a ding-dong sweetness. Supriya gets to do all the stuff Maa's do in films, but she reins in the drama (even when being dramatic) and underacts (by filmi standards) the heavy emotional stuff. She's a Maa you can get behind.

The gruff father who ONLY works hard so he can provide for his family
The actor who benefits from Ayan Mukerji's willingness to amp down the theatrics is Anupam Kher, who plays Sid's hugely successful Dad. Forced to pay the bills in countless roles that are well beneath his talent, Kher is able to deliver the emotional payload in two key scenes without once acting out of bounds. (Its the same Kher who dazzled us in A Wednesday). These scenes ground the movie in its slacker vibe.

A creative job as a photographer (eye roll) in a magazine
Sid finally finds his creative redemption by turning his hobby as a photographer into a profession via an internship. Anyone who watches movies can see that one coming for a mile in the movie. But Ayan rescues this eye roll worthy piece of writing with an associative loopback (Sid likes to photograph his feet against backdrops) in the end that is entirely charming.

Four Hanky Moments around La Familia
You can't have an Indian movie without La Familia and lots of emotional, tear-jerker scenes involving one or more members of the family. In WUS, there are four key scenes involving family. All of them are standard scenes, but played differently entirely by tuning the dialog (and amping down the theatrics). The actors get one line to speak where typically there would be three. More importantly they speak those lines at civilized, as opposed to ear-splitting, decibels.

Friends 2 Lovers
If there is one formula that Bollywood can bottle, its this one. If done right, its a near sure fire way of connecting with younger audiences. Ranbir and Konkana get love out of the way early by talking about it and deciding they are not made for each other. This paves the way for a solid friendship even though you know where its going to end up. But in WUS, its a platonic friendship on steroids because Ranbir and Konkana spend the better part of the movie living as roommates and doing all kinds of things (dates! cooking! arguments! laundry!) together that a couple would.

A misunderstanding, followed by sulking and finally LOVE!
Every romantic movie has one of these honkers - a crisis that is precipitated due to some lame reason, then a period of sulking and finally forgiveness. In WUS this feels fresh entirely because Ayan keeps this period short.

In fact, the end is the only part of WUS that feels hurried, but by then its just the right pace.

The aftermath of My Name is Khan: The winners and losers are...

Sometime in the last few weeks, something really interesting happened to Karan Johar's much awaited melodrama My Name is Khan. Straining to overcome a minor but annoying backlash over a controversy in which Shahrukh Khan was detained at a US airport (in a case of life imitating unreleased art), the hard working KJo put an admirable publicity machinery in motion as the release date approached.

Around the same time Shahrukh, who also owns the Indian Premier League cricket franchise Kolkata Knight Riders, spoke out against how disappointed he was that the Pakistani players were not going to be playing in the IPL. Mumbai's self appointed soldiers - the Shiv Sena, led by beleaguered leader Uddhav Thackeray perhaps sensing immense political opportunity, took offense. How dare someone (a non-native Mumbaikar and Muslim!) side with the Pakistanis! Shiv Sena asked SRK to apologize, SRK refused, the Sena got a bit ugly. This is all well documented so not worth repeating here.

Last Friday, under threat from the Shiv Sena to disrupt the movie's release in Mumbai and with just limited verbal support from the film fraternity, MNIK opened.

Despite the ever-present specter of violence, the collections for MNIK set the box office on fire. The movie hauled in Rs 40 crores over the weekend in India. It blazed to a $1.86 m take in the US and a £936,000 take in the UK - opening weekend records for both countries for a Bollywood flick.

By all accounts MNIK will be a big hit - the question is just how big. This single event has decided the fate of several parties on either side of the MNIK fence.

Here are the winners and losers of the jung.

WINNERS

Shahrukh Khan

Not only does SRK get to prove his box office mettle, but refusing to back down when confronted with threats vaults him to the status of real life hero - albeit a status he may not want.

SRK got some support from the filmi duniya for his movie although that is all he got. Yet he cocked a snook at the Sena and pulled it off - which now makes him the poster child for United Bollywood. What's more - his blockbuster box office status has been restored after the lackluster Billu.

Karan Johar

KJo spent a lot of money on MNIK. He cast his favorite actors (SRK, Kajol) and pulled out all his tricks - on film and off it during marketing. When SRK's refusal to back down put KJo's rather expensive movie in jeopardy, KJO shrugged it off and stood firmly by SRK - tirelessly focusing his energy on publicity and trying to eke out some protection from the Mumbai police. He wins big as a friend to India's biggest star and a man who put his faith in his buddy's principles.

His work as a director got mixed responses from critics - but there was unanimous praise for his singularity of vision and his need to strain at the creative leash. MNIK's box office confirms him as one of Bollywood's most reliable directors and easily its most visible one.

Filmi Moms

Kajol has been at the forefront of making mommy actors viable propositions. She has done this primarily via (a) strong performances in traditional Bollywood roles (b) sparkling chemistry with Bollywood's biggest star - SRK and (c) unstinting admiration from Karan Johar.

MNIK confirms her status as the go-to actress for complex roles opposite big name actors. The fact that the movie worked with audiences allows her to become more than just another older, serious actress (like say Tabu) and a safe bet at the box office. In being elevated to this status, Kajol will force Indian audiences to reevaluate their bias towards married actresses.

Fox STAR

Two years ago Twentieth Century Fox did a JV with Star Studios to form Fox Star and distributed Slumdog Millionnaire in India. On the backs of the same partnership Fox Star partly financed MNIK and gave US distribution rights to its boutique division Fox Searchlight.

MNIK's resounding opening gives Fox Star legs in Asia and allows Bollywood movies to become legitimate entries on the release calender of a major player like Fox Searchlight in the US.

Pakistani Cricketers

Boy its tough to feel unwanted and unloved. Locked out of the lucrative IPL because of various reasons - not the least being backlash against 26/11 (although most are loathe to admit it), the Pakistani cricketers were eyeing a bleak financial future.

Someone big in India suddenly spoke up for them, stood up for it and made a movie that was watched by millions in India. Loving Pakistanis is no longer taboo and this could be the start of the clarion call for becoming all neighborly again when it comes to Sports.

Bombay

Mumbai backlash manifests itself in the form of people who miss Bombay - both the city in terms of its cosmopolitan feel and the name itself.

Why, Bombay was probably the more original name for the city to begin with, counter many. Expect 'Bombay' to make a comeback.

LOSERS

Shiv Sena

In principal the Sena didn't violate any sensibilities by protesting loudly against SRK and demanding kaala paani for his film in Mumbai. Did we agree with it? No, but freedom of speech extends to everyone.

But when they resorted to violence in order to get what they couldn't through the civilized channels of persuasion and debate, things got hairy. Everyone felt threatened (it could be us next!). The tide of public opinion turned against the Sena.

MNIK's fireworks at the box office was a slap in the face of the Sena and now raises probing questions about its influence and power base in Mumbai.

Brand Thackeray

Look at this way: the name Thackeray is synonymous with a intimidating leader who ruled Mumbai with an iron fist. Now, some Muslim film star publicly gives Pakistan a cagey 'aal iz well' certificate, refuses to apologize, sticks his tongue out at you when you try to ban his movie AND the movie goes on to become a huge hit.

This is a huge blow to Brand Thackeray's credibility. Could this be the beginning of the end for Mumbai's own Gabbar Singh? Will Mom's now blackmail their kids into sleeping with a different threat? India awaits with bated breath.

Mumbai

While there is nothing wrong with renaming your city to align with cultural sensibilities, the name Mumbai is now associated with scary race politics. The word conjures up fascists who are willing to resort to divisive politics and violence born out of economic jealousy. In short, Mumbai is rather unfortunately growing into a brand for anti-cosmopolitan, small-minded folks who are the enemy of fun.


On a personal note - I have not seen MNIK.

How to save yourself on Valentine's Day by leveraging Chick Flicks

Well its that time of the year - Valentine's Day. Which means you know what.

A bunch of men, harassed at the prospect of having to try and be romantic will talk about how they don't need to buy a gift or purchase a card to tell their loved ones how much they care. A number of women will say the same as a preemptive strike to ward off inevitable disappointment. Several will find that Hallmark is their friend in times of such dire need. A few will get all metrosexual and do something romantic. Most will find ideas of romance vary (yes, return that super powered vacuum cleaner NOW.)

I'm far too nefarious to fall in any of the above categories. What I do instead is I talk about all the crap I've gone through in the name of love and pass it off as my Valentine's Day gift. Its cheap, its easy and it works!

This year I'm listing out all those chick flicks I've watched in 2009 with the Drift Memsaab as saboot of how much I love her.

Now I actually liked a bunch of them. In fact I practically adored the first third of this list. But I recommend you not mention that when presenting 'gifts' like this on account of the fact that it will dilute the magnitude of your sacrifice, and hence the value of the gift.

Rachel Getting Married
Girl (Anne Hathaway) interrupts rehab to attend sister's (Rosemarie DeWitt) wedding, wreaks havoc. Hathaway almost convinces everyone she can act, until last movie on this list gets released.






Sunshine Cleaning
Two sisters (Amy Adams, Emily Blunt) whose lives are an ungodly mess, scrub crime scenes clean for a living. Adams, Blunt look fetching despite herculean efforts by Makeup and Costume





I've Loved You So Long
Surgeon (Kristin Scott Thomas) with a terrible secret (she murdered her infant son!) returns from jail to restart life with her sister (Elsa Zylberstein). Arty French posing and scenery chewing ensues.





Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
Heart-broken loser (Micheal Cera) and hot chick (Kat Dennings) chase secret live appearance of weird sounding band all over city, miss concert, lock lips.





I Love You, Beth Cooper
Geeky Valedictorian (Paul Rust) publicly exclaims love for cheerleader with fabulous hair (Hayden Panettiere) at graduation, becomes object of ridicule and target of jock boyfriend's wrath. Magnificent towel-flick battle among half-naked folks in gym shower ensues. Cheerleader discovers losers are people too!


He's Just Not That Into You
Intersecting story arcs about clueless women getting shafted by men. Not sure exactly what happens but some of it is funny. Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Connelly play Jens next door.






Love Aaj Kal
Metrosexual (Saif Ali Khan) and post-eco-boom desi girl (Deepika Padukone) coast through relationships in modern ways, find true love, suddenly become old fashioned and can't seem to talk about it. Parallel old fashioned love story encourages today's generation to talk less, love more.



(500) Days of Summer
Boy (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) meets annoying girl (Zooey Deschanel) who is too cool to even try and act - and fails to recognize that she's just NOT THAT INTO HIM! Yes, that is the whole movie. Minka Kelly arrives in last few minutes, wakes everyone up




The Duchess
Duchess (Kiera Knightley) marries creepy, abusive husband. Has to deal with rape, grief, Ralph Fiennes' pasty lips and plummy English accents. Features great costumes which none of us can ever wear anymore and hence are useless





Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Man-whore Javier Bardem can't decide who to lust after - Scarlett Johanssen or Penelope Cruz. Decides to have both, boinks Johanssen's sister (Rebecca Hall) along the way, transforms chick-flick to male fantasy film. Even censors fall asleep, which explains eyebrow-raising PG-13 rating




Julie & Julia
Julia Child (Meryl Streep) translates French recipes in English, becomes legend. Impressionable young Julie (Amy Adams) cooks her recipes and blogs about them, rights her life, lands book deal. Hundreds follow by trying to convert blog into book. Too late as publishers now troll Twitter for ideas.





The Proposal
Ball busting editor Sandra Bullock forces her doormat admin (Ryan Reynolds) to marry her for a green card, ogles his moneybags family and falls in love with him. Great vistas of Alaska and senseless situations ensue.





Confessions of a Shopaholic
Charming ditz (Isla Fisher) is an in-debt shopaholic but writes a column about smart shopping. Gets ratted out. Boyfriend quits her. Charming ditz oxymoronishly resorts to shopping sensibly.





The Ugly Truth
Smart, beautiful, man-less hence unhappy female producer (Katherine Heigl) is forced to work with misogynist (Gerard Butler) - discovers bad, messy, uncouth men are more interesting than clean-shaven, good looking, successful ones. Luckily man-shrew is tamed in time for the ending.




Bride Wars
Best friends (Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway) squabble over wedding venue on same day, bore everyone senseless, end Kate Hudson's career. Candice Bergen plays wedding planner, delivers masterclass in how to 'act' one snark at a time.

Music Ka Maha Muqqabla: Enemies R Us

A few weeks ago on MkMM, just before SRK and KJo showed up to promote their now beleaguered movie - My Name is Khan - Himesh Reshammiya trotted on stage looking sharpish in a gray suit. In a matter of minutes he laid low the entire concept of the show. "How can the decision of each muqabla be decided by the people who sit in the back and not in the front?!" he thundered.

So what's with this front row-back row argument? Quite simple: its a class issue.

The audience in MkMM that gets the voting meters are the seated audience. In other words they are not the chavvani audience that forms Himesh's core fan group (and before anyone thinks I'm being classist, I count myself among Himesh's biggest fans). This means the upper class audience decides Himesh's fate. Not only does this eat into Himesh's votes but because our man has long been ostracized by the upper crust of Bollywood, this particular aspect of having his fate decided by the more moneyed hurts Himesh even more.

These days Himesh gets irritated quickly - he's become the Rocket Singh of Rageaholics. When this happens, his face takes on an expression of neutrality (ok, no jokes about how this is pretty much how he goes through his movies) and he crams in pause-less sentences into the microphone, not giving any chance for anyone to interrupt. Then he puts the mike down. This gesture of laying the mike down has such fear-inducing finality that no one says a word. Talk about technique!

This reached such nutty proportions that one singer - Amey Date, who now calls himself Aamaaya - lost his head. He took the fight, first to Himesh and then to the rest of the judges. The judges stayed their ground. Amey's blood boiled over - he staged that time tested technique of showing exasperation: he staged a walkout! Much cajoling by a bunch of angry looking producer-types failed to lure Amey back on stage. Everyone in the show begged for him to return. Mohit Chauhan, sensing an awesome opportunity to get some sympathy votes, strapped on a harmonica and sang something. He got perfect scores from the audience. The pressure piled on Amey, who still refused to budge.

Finally a couple of people just grabbed the poor singer and hauled him back on stage kicking and screaming. Seconds later Amey went hammer and tongs after Mika Singh, who got up and said "Idhar Aa beta!" At this point even Conan the Barbarian would have ducked out of sight. But Amey kept going. Poor Shankar Mahadevan buried his head in his palm.

All this was super entertaining!

Unfortunately for me, Mika has been losing his muqqablas steadily and was in danger of getting eliminated. With the unthinkable staring Mika the face, he took on Shaan, who has found the right mix of music and good natured muqabla to become one of the show's leading entertainers.

Vidya Balan and Arshad Warsi came on this episode to promote their new flick Ishqiya. The kicker? They both came dressed in character! This was something I had never seen before. Arshad came wearing his sexy-dangerous Surma Bhopali getup. Vidya came in a dowdy looking sari with her hair loose to one side.

"I've never seen you looking beautiful!" Mika exclaimed.

"You didn't think I looked good before?!" Vidya probed looking a little befuddled.

"I never saw you in that way before!" Mika countered.

Later Mika was so overcome by Vidya's beauty that he walked over, touched her feet and declared that Vidya was now his sister! This interchangeable saiyya-bhaiyya love is a proven way to entertain people. (See post here and here).

Happily this episode ended in a tie and Mika survived another round. How does a tie occur on this show you may ask? Well the 'computer' counts up to the first decimal. But if difference is less than half a point, the computer rounds UP both scores - regardless of which side of the half they are - to the same number. Wah, what an awesomely senseless computer. I want one for Diwali. But this raises the specter of rigged scores.

Like Mika himself once asked, is this show fixed? Given its sole purpose in life is to entertain me and this will happen only if there is drama in the competition, I sure hope so!

So on the main part of the show - the singing! Yes I seem to recall there was some.

Julie & Julia revisited: Lost in translation

Every so often I'll watch a movie that everyone hates and I absolutely love. And no, I'm not sharing those with you.

But once in a while I'll watch a movie that everyone absolutely adores that makes me go WTF?! Julie & Julia is one such movie.

J&J is based on two memoirs, which the screenplay cleverly intersects into one integrated parallel narrative. It's been done many times before but it works in an impressively well oiled way in this movie. Julie (Amy Adams) - who is a bit of a failed writer and stuck in a dead end job - cooks her way through 524 recipes from Julia Child's cookbook (Mastering the Art of French Cuisine) as a way of proving to herself that she undertake something creative AND finish it. She blogs about it (the original blog is here on Salon).

In the second interwoven story, Julia Child (Meryl Streep) moves to Paris and begins her now famous love affair with French cuisine.

There are several reasons I just didn't get into the movie. We'll leave the well accepted ones aside: lack of a propulsive plot, somewhat one-dimensional supporting characters, no real conflict. The biggest reason for my LACK of engagement was: THE FOOD!

Everyone who loved the movie loved the food in it. The first piece of food that Julia tastes in the movie is a fish swimming in butter. Hells Bells! What a perfectly good way to ruin a fish! Director Nora Ephron then drives this point home when she ladles on (so to say) the butter. Julie is shown talking about how lots of butter is essential for cooking good food. Cue heart attack inducing shots of blocks of butter melting in a pan. Let's get back to REAL food, Ephron seems to be saying, simultaneously thumbing her nose at the cageyness of modern day cuisine to embrace good wholesome fat.

For the rest of the movie I was regaled with lovingly shot recipes featuring meat slathered with butter and wrapped up in pastry wherever possible. I might have seen a vegetable or two tossed in there somewhere - but they disappeared before I could pull out my microscope. At one point Julie tries to make a jelly out of beef stew. Later she tries to stuff chicken liver back in the chicken before baking it.

Once in the entire movie I saw Julia toss some oregano in a pot. Hadn't anyone in France heard of haldi or garam masala back then? For a desi like me, cooking without spices is a crime of the highest order. By the time the final recipe made its way into the movie - a duck baked in pastry (the only spices in there - salt), I had lost my appetite for the ENTIRE WEEKEND.

During my graduate days, a friend (part Polish-part French-part German) used to admonish me for adding flavor to meat or vegetables. "What's the point?" she used to say, glaring at me "the original taste of what you are cooking is completely gone!"

I can't argue that point (I even have some relatives who won't eat a fruit unless its slices are sprinkled with chaat masala). But using spices has advantages. For one, it allows you put flavorful food on the table without having to fry it each time for big taste. Second, if used right you can incorporate the medicinal value of spices right into your plate of food. To be fair, Indian cooking has several shortcomings - the worst of which is how much we tend to overcook our food and lose most of its nutritional value. But I digress.

Back to movie: Julia Child is credited with empowering American women with the confidence to cook again. This is alluded to in Julie's story where she gains control of her life by learning cooking through Childs' cookbook. I was completely unable to connect with this emotional subtext in the story although that was not related to the food in the movie.

On the other hand, I am increasingly fascinated by the impressively burgeoning career of Amy Adams. I love the way her hair itself gives a performance in every movie (hold on to that hairstylist!). But that is a whole different post.

The movie is based on the following books:
Julie and Julia: My Year of Cooking Dangerously by Julie Powell
My Life in France by Julia Child and Alex Prud'Homme

My thanks to Beth and Memsaab for helping me understand why the movie (and the iconic Child) was so loved by everyone

Phaltu Reporting: The greatest hits of Amrita Rao

Bollywood celebs have been getting on twitter faster than Shahid Kapoor has been cycling through girlfriends. This seems to be a good idea - fans get a chance to talk directly to their loved ones. And the loved ones feel loved and get to interact directly with fans.

Guess who gets cut out - the media!

But the media has been striking back! How have they done it? They've come up with something rather innovative: the twitter news blurb. Here is how it works - the media monitors celeb tweets. Then they write about it. In other words, the media now reports to the fans what the celeb say to them directly. "SRK is sick!", "Imran Khan spent his birthday working!", "Celina has gas!" (I made that last one up - but you get the point, yes?)

But wait, there is more. Often fans respond back to the celebs. The media has caught wind of this and often reports on what the fans have to tweet about the celeb's tweets.

All this makes my head hurt even as I write it. But the incongruity of it all is much fun I have to admit. As an elaborate tribute to this phenom - which I call Phaltu Twitter Reporting (PTR) - I decided to respond with some Phaltu Facebook Reporting (PFR). I decided to check out Amrita Rao's Facebook Fan page and pull out the best her fans had to say about her.

Why Amrita Rao? Because her fans are the most entertaining. Over to them.

"U r ma dream gal !!!!!"

"CAN I MEET U ONCE IN A LIFETIME I M U FAN AND I WILL NOT TELL THAT I M U R BIGGEST FAN BUT I M U R ONE AND ONLY FAN .....PLS PLS REPLY ME PLS"

"how much"

"i wish.....i shud get a wife like u....."

"i use 2 think katrina is the prettiest bt no i change my mind after seeing u in the video song poorza poorza"

"u r definitely not the most beautiful gal on earth .. a true/honest msg frm ur normal fan"

"i have seen ur all of moveise"

"if there is any thing like black magic.....its in her eyes."

"ur posters r like paint in my room.they cover every square inch"

"I am mad about u. I wanna act with u. plz"

"I LUV U !! :) :) :)....WILL U MARRY ME !!"

"if you want to make a permanent impression upon the audience so that,you get remembered even after you than don't please compromise with your roles,story of the movie and try to do natural acting..for example as you have done in "vivah".............."

"Nothing new but I can't resist myself saying ........... you are gargious"

"you are very sexy pose."

"Wat i do if i lov u...:("

"your performance was good, but i loved your gestures from your face. It was hot, ammu."

"oh!! dear dont brake my heart..really there is someone special???"

"U R LUCKING HOT IN WHITE DRESS"

"im not so big fan of u yet.. bt always love to watch yr innocency in movies."

"all of us are making comments on this wall.....however, amrita doesnt reply or post any comment on her wall.....does this mean this is FAKE????"

Also:

• Amrita on Facebook
• Amrita on twitter
• Bollywood celebs on twitter