Don't believe me? Take a look at the pictures in this post! These are real press photographs of major high level world hastis who walk around with a heart shaped Salman bubble hovering over their heads. Ok, I made that last part up, but you get the point right?

Well, let's start with what went wrong. When Salman was at his peak, he was part of the Holy Trinity of Khans - a triumvirate of the three biggest stars: Shahrukh Khan, Aamir Khan and Salman himself. All three had legions of fans but Salman's overseas popularity made him the biggest of the three.
After an initial flop (Biwi Ho To Aisi, 1988), Salman announced himself with big bang - from 1989 to 1991, he had seven movies. Five of them were hits (Maine Pyaar Kiya, Baaghi, Sajan, Kurbaan, Sanam Bewafaa). In this period, Salman's batting average was an astounding 70%.
But Salman was a bit of a playboy rebel and his girlfriends and lifestyle kept him the news (not to mention earned him tons of male fans who idolized him for his off screen antics). With his star power firmly established, Hum Apke Hain Kaun, which paired Salman with Madhuri, already a superstar, became a turning point in his career. Hum Apke Hain Kaun was a blockbuster. And just like that Salman rediscovered his winning ways at the box office.
The economic boom in India bought about some profound changes that were to affect Salman.

Salman continued to make the movies he had always made: potboilers with action or comedies filled with silly jokes. As Indians grew in stature on the global platform, they adopted a sensibility not aligned with Salman's old jhatka matka ways. They flocked to see more diversity and Salman's box office collections dwindled.
If you look at Salman's career graph around that time (2000-2005), you'll see an unsettling hit or miss performance at the box office. There were some modest hits (Chori Chori Chupke Chupke, Hum Tumhare Hain Sanam, Tere Naam and Mujse Shaadi Karoge) sprinkled with painful flops (Yeh Hai Jalwa, Phir Milenge, Garv, Dil Ne Jise Apna Kahaa).



Be patient - things will turn around
So what if multiplex audiences are rejecting you? Give them time. Pretty soon they'll start missing all their bad habits and come to watch throwaway entertainment. Can people afford to be intellectual all the time? No sir, they cannot! Besides they'll eventually have kids - who won't be as jaded about watching potboiler cinema.

In Wanted and Dabangg, Salman walked the edge between a terrorist and a dil-ka-sachha romeo so dangerously that we all felt like we were watching something seminal - like Laila Majnu with Gulshan Grover in the lead. By playing goondas who were well meaning but misguided, Salman invoked the inner boisterousness in us all.
Protect your image carefully
Look what happened to Salman's brothers in Holy Bollywood Trinity. Aamir Khan got all smartypants and started talking about issues and well rounded entertainment. Shahrukh embraced his middle age by becoming an increasingly benevolent maharaja. And those nutty jhagdas last year? Shudder! Lets not even go there. These two completely lost their edge. But what did Salman do? He stayed true to his bad boy roots and made waves in the media for his jhagdas and romantic lafdas. Sure when those movies were flopping there was time left to crank out some paintings and reveal an artistic side. But that was on the down low. In an entertainment world of shifting sands, Salman became the most reliable touchstone.

Diversity is all well and good. But after a while you crave for ghar ka khaana. That home cooked meal is Salman Khan. Having the same daal roti sabzi each time is irrelevant. In fact, its sheer predictability is exactly why people gravitate towards it. In fact as homage to Salman, I've recycled this post from an old one. Clever, no?
Don't make a movie without a Signature Dance
See, there are three things you need to work out with the producer before you sign the movie. Reading the script might sound like one of those three things, but that is not for our man. Instead insist on having a signature dhamaaka song. Then put lots of "common people" in it. You know like policemen, chaiwalas, jhaaduwalas and neta types. This will allow the "common man" to feel like Salman cares for them. And the people who consider themselves uncommon will feel that this is a noble thing to do and watch also.
Salman has one huge, danceable hit in every movie. When people hear this song, they think of the movie and what a great time they had in it. This makes them miss Salman and anticipate his next. What an ingenious strategy!
Choreograph your dance so that anyone can do it
Dance steps must be simple. In Wanted, Salman jerked his collar. In Ready he put his hands in his pockets and dinged his you-know-what in time with the music. In Dabangg, he pumped his belt. In Dabangg 2, the belt pumped itself. When these songs get played, even the uncles and auntys and folks with left feet get on the dance floor and dance. This makes them associate Salman with personal moments of triumph like being able to dance.

In Dabanng Salman acted with a creamy, sexy heroine who glowered and threw him meaningful glances. No one even knew how to spell Sonakshi properly. Did it matter? No. In Dabangg 2, Sonakshi showed periodically to pose. Did we miss anything? No, sir. In Ready Salman acted with Asin, an overactor with lack of grace who was stuck with a bad stylist. Even when she danced it looked like she was practicing Jiu-jitsu. Did that make a difference? Nope. In Bodyguard Salman acted with Bollywood's No. 1 heroine Kareena. All these movies were hits!
A fundamental aspect of Salmaniyat is that Salman must be front and center of every scene. Salman struts around so much that every love song is a serenade to himself. Every fight is all about him outdoing himself. Every dialogue is in competition with his last movie to sound more dhaasu.
And in conclusion... Now that I've been kind enough to reveal how Salman managed to become Bollywood's biggest star all over again: mujh par ek ehsaan karna, ke mujh par koi ehsaan no karna! Please don't try this formula at home. The world isn't big enough for another Salman Khan.
Can't recognize some of the people in these pictures? Move your cursor over any of them and hold still for a few seconds
4 comments:
I loved scrolling through the photos, and will now go back and read the text.
Mind Rush's heart and mind are "rushing" at the sight of Salman Khan! Please picture me in love bubbles too!!
Mind Rush noting another bubble missing from this entertaining post: Drift saab gazing adoringly at Salman bhai!!
Aspi, you do it again! How do you do it? ;)
Laila Majnu with Gulshan Grover had me in splits literally and what a way to break the Salmaniyat code. It's one of those things like the popcorn-soda- theater post(s). You read it and go WOW it blows our mind away... I have to go back and reread the post.
hi.. i am vivek ranga - The Artist. I am doing Stage Shows or Events by singing Bhajans and Ghazals. you can view my profile
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