Aspi's Drift

How to be an Indian Idol

2007-09-29T09:32:00.000-05:00

While Prashant Tamang's win on Indian Idol 3 wasn't a surprise coming when it did, the fact that it came against a strong contender - Amit Paul, and that this "upset" happened for the second time in a row should be enough to make you wonder what it takes to be an Idol.

There is no formula or even multiple formulas, but we can attempt to look closely at why Prashant scored to see if there is something worth emulating for contestants to follow. Note other explanations about regional voting abound - I'm going to ignore them, they aren't interesting enough for me.

Have at least something worth talking about. Prashant's ability to hold sur and taal might have been second best to Amit Paul's but he did have an extraordinarily sweet voice. When he got everything right, he sounded terrific and the junta was willing to forgive everything else.

Have a decent backstory. Member of the Police Force is a nationally unifying theme that everyone can identify with - especially now that Manmohan Desai isn't around to abuse them in every movie.

Make mistakes, just keep them under control. Prashant sometimes would miss a beat, he would lose sur, his taal would go for a six. But these were minor infractions that humanized him - making him an underdog to root for.

Keep a low, steady profile. While other contestants jumped up to grab the limelight, Prashant plugged away steadily - concentrating on singing and making sure he only projected one personality - his own. Significantly this allowed him to ride out the natural ebb and flow of popularity that all other contestants were subjected to.

Set a standard only slightly above average. In other words, stand out but don't head to the top of the class early on. This allowed Prashant to escape the harsh standard of judging from the likes of Anu Malik and Javed Akhtar that saw Emon and Deepali getting braised and eventually kicked off the show.

Be nice and smile a lot. This simple dudeness that Prashant projected endeared him to many. More importantly in the later rounds when he became a serious contender, it allowed him to ride the judges taanes with grace. As the judges got into their own popularity ebb, this then developed into a serious "lets vote for Prashant and stick it to those judges" feeling that ran through the fans.

Will Prashant make it big as a singer? Going by the law of averages, the chances are slim. But in the end its an irrelevant question. The whole "Bharat ki Shaan" is an artificial sleight of drama given to what is essentially reality entertainment. And for us to see it as anything but would be deluding ourselves.

Indian Idol 3 Grand Finale: The making of an Idol

2007-09-24T10:07:00.000-05:00

Did it surprise anyone that Prashant Tamang became the third Indian Idol? Sure Amit was the crown prince waiting for the throne to become available, but you got the sense during the many months that Prashant's strong fan following and his ability to coast through the season without resonating too much negative energy was wrapping this contest up for him.

So on to the noisy and somewhat boring finale - long enough to rival a remake of Mughal-e-Azam. I found it terribly ironic that all the returning contestants - except the top two - mimed their songs on stage. Heck, some - like Richa Aneja - didn't even try to open their mouth.

Anu Malik mimed his opening sequence and seemed to have forgotten the words. Alisha Chinai was probably the worst offender - first showing up in a corset that looked like a it had been purchased in a Lord of the Rings auction and then miming rather poorly. With all that extra hair and fabric weight was it any wonder that all she could do was periodically lift her arms while miming?

All of this culminated in a rather hilarious performance by the boys - which combined the infamous miming of Milli Vanilli and boy band moves from the 90s. Suhit Gosain - onetime recipient of tons of daat from Javed Akhtar showed up, having replaced his fake rock aura with a look that reminded me of Lance Bass. Somewhere Tom Araya must be breathing a sigh of relief that the terrible aping has ended. If these guys ever form a band, they should call it NSync Vanilli.

Fortunately for all of us, Sukhwinder Singh showed up and kicked some ass with that big voice of his. And the fact that the girls - poorly voted for throughout the season - got special air time with him was a nice touch.

So what is behind Prashant Tamang's victory? Are you kidding - if I knew I would be an executive at Sony. But a few observations about Prashant might reveal an interesting design pattern for an aspiring Idol. More on that in a later post.

Also:

Meena thinks the returning contestants were all homogenized and robbed of a personality

Mind Rush is miffed there wasn't enough Emon in the show

Sania's Fashion Round Up

Anon wants someone to lend Ankita a hair clip

Indian Idol 3 Grand Finale

2007-09-23T23:15:00.000-05:00

Priya, who loves TV and Prashant Tamang wrote this after the Grand Finale.

I am giddy, I am silly
I am a fan, of this man

The judges were pissed
Some of the audience hissed
But he kept his cool
And proved no fool

Forever humble
Never did he stumble
Flashing that smile
All the while

When he cried on his friend's shoulders,
I hope his success knew no borders

For he is truly a gem well deserving of this fame
And I hope that one day you'll all think the same

A unanimous candidate

2007-09-20T11:30:00.000-05:00

Beth points us to this piece by Soumyadip on how Shillong has turned loony in the wake of the upcoming Indian Idol 3 mahayuddh. Bonus: childhood pics of Amit Paul.

Amit Paul is already an icon in Shillong. Almost everyone is talking about him all the time. From the barber to the taxi driver, the point of discussion is Amit. Giant screens have put all over the city so that people can watch 'their boy' in action. MLAs and MDCs (Member of District Council) are falling over one another to sponsor free PCOs from where the public can punch in their votes for Amit.

Goal or Gol Maal??

2007-09-18T10:22:00.000-05:00

Regular reader Mind Rush speculates on the togetherness of John and Bipasha based on their appearance on Indian Idol. Stardust just called, they want to start a new column called Mind Rush's Musings

Like many others who believed the rumors, I confess I was convinced that Bips had dumped John and found Ronaldo. So I was hugely shocked/surprised/thrilled to see them on the II3 show. They looked fabulous, individually and together. So does that put the nasty rumors to rest? Not so fast, buddy...

This was the first time that I got to see John Abraham and Bipasha Basu interacting with each other. However as much as I want to say “jodi salaamat rahe” I could not help wondering if “something happened” in their relationship. I base this on a few observations.

First, like the Bard say: ”the lady doth protest too much...” They were trying too hard to show that they were a couple. Cleverly inserted dialogue indicated to the audience that Bips hears him sing day and night (read: “We are together”) The “mother-in-law” also came to the show as part of the happy family (read: “We are together”) More comments about John did this, John did that (read: “We are together”)

But there were other pieces of their on-stage interaction that raised red flags. A couple of times when the topic of other women came up John looked very uncomfortable and Bips looked tense. Then she lightened up but her comment about John being bitten and pinched was almost said in a manner so as to provoke or embarrass John and not support him. Hmmm...what’s going on?

If I were a writer for Stardust I would at this point quote some unnamed close friend of the couple. This supposed secret source would verify that the couple broke up because John had an affair and then Bipasha found solace in the arms of a sympathetic Ronaldo. The souce would go on to confirm that the couple have broken up and moved on but remain friends and temporarily are making joint appearances to promote the movie.

In the end, it all worked out. The II3 show was a huge success. The couple looked awesome. I will definitely go see their new movie.

Lekin tera kya hoga, Ronaldo?

Anon points us to this five-escort celebration by Ronaldo

Indian Idol 3 Top 2: Saved by His & Her Hotness

2007-09-17T06:33:00.000-05:00

Forget Abhiwarya, for me John Abraham and Bipasha Basu have always been Bollywood's First Couple. Why? It's hard to imagine two people without too many filmi family connections bucking the odds to emerge with successful careers and a long-standing relationship.

John may not win an Oscar but he is a fine physical actor if you ask me: he's terribly underappreciated in Bollywood where you have to act with every fiber of your face (exhibits A & B: Shahrukh Khan and Ritwik Roshan). Bips on the other hand managed to look graceful even in the high-crass No Entry - an outstanding achievement in the face of overwhelming odds like Fardeen Khan and Celina Jaitley.

Plus, there's always the Building gossip that tells me that John shows up 10pm-ish almost daily and takes Bips on long motorcycle drives in the night. Such romanchuk behavior is noteworthy.

And I was double glad they showed up on Indian Idol 3 on the second show of the weekend because Rubaroo and the show has lately been putting me to sleep. I'm not sure what did it but it started with last week's Rubaroo in which the rather unfortunately named JoJo showed up wearing a fanny pack and revealed a penchant for pointing everywhere, especially up (hey, didn't your Mom tell you its rude?). Then this week the Top 2 featured a "live" performance vibe, Hussain yelling into a mike (like my Dad on the phone whenever someone would call from London) and a rather sweaty Sanjay Dutt looking like he had arrived straight from the gym without stopping at the showers.

But in the John & Bips episode, this whole soccer theme to tie in with their new flick Dhana Dhan Dhan...Goal was pretty crafty. If you're going to shill, this is the way to do it. Work hard to do something creative and then give us two lovely people with great chemistry to look at.

On to the singing: Amit Paul delivered fine performances and looked very much the Indian Idol that the judges have been hoping he'll become. However, two things happened that rocked Amit's boat and neither of them was the terrible headband-wristband combo that I thought had died out since Mark Knopfler left Dire Straits and wisely embraced Alt Country.

First, Prashant Tamang happened. Evenly and quietly, the guy has been weathering all the storms that come his way. His good-natured straight-lacedness has allowed him to motor along at a fine mid-tempo and avoid the peaks and valleys that other contestants suffered from. And on this week's show his song selection was outstanding. In particular, "Aashiq Banaya" not only suited his voice and stretched his range, but it is sure to be a hit with the SMS generation.

Second, the dog ate Amit Paul's lyrics. Pretty badly. So badly in fact that Javed Akhtar's comparing that gaffe with Prashant's earlier missing of a single beat and calling the score even was scarcely credible.

Time and again Amit has bombed at critical moments. Is he afraid of success? Does he have ADD? Did he forget to turn his cell phone off? Who knows! But add to all this the fact that Prashant has always been a storehouse of SMS votes, this could well be the slip that cost Amit the Idolship.

Also:

sidekick tells us that Emon and Deepali are recording for Anu Malik

raj would like to see the II judges undergo judge training next year

Sania wants her sweetu Parleen back!

Meg wants us to support a wild card for Arshpreet on VoI

Priya explains the appeal of Prashant Tamang

Anju points us to a John and Bips interview on Koffee with Karan and mentions how upset she is with "that crazy woman Alisha"

qwitiqqx reports on the results of Himesh's master plan

Indian Idol 3 final stretch frenzy

2007-09-14T10:06:00.000-05:00

The Times of India reports in a piece called Hills go into Indian Idol frenzy on its front page today:

Perfectly sober people, including senior bureaucrats and ministers, are doing bizarre things to get either Amit Paul from Shillong or Prashant Tamang from Darjeeling voted as India's next singing sensation.

Announcements are being made during football matches, marriage ceremonies and birthday parties to see either of the two singers through. Some ministers are exhorting voters to send SMSs in favour of their favourite crooner; others have booked PCOs for the job.

Even former militants are allegedly browbeating residents to vote for the local star.

Can this Indian Idol judge be saved?

2007-09-04T09:16:00.000-05:00

Javed Akhtar has a personae that has been built up over the years: a kurta toting poet of fluency and intellect. A man who writes with his head but always with a rose in one hand. He commands a lot of respect - just take a look at his lead in our poll.

But for the last few episodes on Indian Idol 3, that crown has been slipping. And last week, Javed Akhtar threw a horrific tantrum that lasted two shows and - despite Mind Rush's hilarious theory - shook the faith of his fans.

Can this judge be saved? Have I ever held back on phaltu advice? Here goes.

Javedbhai, don't put pressure on yourself by trying to sound intelligent all the time. See when you do that, you'd better walk a straight line. No double standards, no chamchaagiri - that kind of stuff. Otherwise you come across as pompous. We know you can't do it. So sometimes - instead of trying to force an equation between a spunky girl's performance and the state of bharatiya naaris, just smile and have some fun. Say something silly. Heck, even say Mindblowing if that's what it takes.

On the other hand, forget Mindblowing and please keep saying umda and uttam - both words you've used and which I like a lot!

More respect, less chamchaagiri. And I'm talking about Alisha and Udit here - both of whom have been taking your barbs with good humor and enhancing their reputation. If Amit Paul bombs, we won't think less of you for saying it. If Anu Malik spouts more of his confouding theories, we'd think highly of you if you called him on it.

Occasionally allow yourself to think that others might be right. For example, if Sonu Nigam says Emon doesn't sing like him, allow yourself to believe it instead of insisting Sonu was fibbing.

Lose your temper more maturely. Otherwise you end up sounding like Richa Aneja who you once reduced to tears for her bachpanaa. You get my point?

You always hold me spellbound when you dig up some stories from the past about Indian artistes. You're someone whose career longevity spans three generations. How about putting it to good use and entertaining us all?

And finally, definitely wear those sparkling kurtas. I'm digging them. Really, where can I get some?

Since I've been accused before of hating sexy people, please also do read Mind Rush and Bong hits the bong's excellent defense of Judge Javed.

Javeda Zindagi on Indian Idol 3 Gala Round

2007-09-01T23:44:00.001-05:00

Amit Varma once said on India Uncut that Javed Akhtar could spout philosophy about a shoelace. And ever since then, I've always been particularly amused whenever Javed tries his best to say something insightful about what is essentially a straight situation week after week. And this week was the most entertaining he's ever been on the show.

It went down like this.

In what was called the "Judges Round", the judges picked a song for each contestant. Then the contestant picked a song from among those choices and sang it. Alisha helped out the contestants here by offering choices that suited them. Amit Paul and Prashant Tamang both took her up and delivered fine performances. Then, Ankita picked Anu Malik's choice. And finally Emon decided to sing Udit Narayan's choice. All of this left Javed Akhtar looking like he needed a hug.

Mini Mathur, never one to miss poking the judges, pointed this out. "How would I know" said Javed "The singers picked, so they would know". Now for some funny reason this reminded me of a regular conversation between my childhood langotia yaar and his Mum which went something like this. Mum: "Babloo, how come you flunked math again!", Babloo: "How would I know, Mummy. The teacher gave the marks, ask her!" I know I have a point in here somewhere.

Thus when Emon finished, the garajte baadal finally burst and Javed let the poor guy have it. "Sing in your own voice!" he said to a thoroughly confounded Emon. A bit of an arguing frenzy ensued. Here Emon did something smart. Realizing that the situation was out of his hands he hung his chastised head - a smart way to seek any sympathy votes that might be there for the taking. Aneek, you might have competition here.

Later Emon sang a song by Kishore Kumar. This time Javed khush hua. But that wasn't the end of it.

In the next show Emon took his now-perpetual spot in the danger zone. And when the choices had been whittled down to two, Javed picked up the mike and first delivered a somewhat overwrought message about how he'd like to see Ankita in the final three because it would represent the advancement of naaris and then proceeded to verbally beat the crap out of Emon.

"Dekhiye" he admonished "He won't make it as a performer because he's bad at it! And because he sounds so much like Sonu Nigam, he'll never be a playback singer!"

Ouch! Man, what a meanie! Briefly Anu Malik tried to defend Emon but Javed was so pissed at the general lack of love by then that he started doing something I've seen my little boys do - talk over each other. Maybe next time he'll plug his ears with his fingers and go "la la la". That'll be fun!

Couple of things that touched me on that show. First, when Javed's sister - who was a guest on the show and lives in Chicago - said she turned on the TV to watch the show whenever she missed her brother, she made me go hai and wish I had a sister. And when Malik's little girl Anmol surprised her father by coming on stage and belting out a number, Anu turning to putty made me feel both old and choked up.

Mini and Hussain, what's with the lame fake flirting? Get a room or get a rakhee. But cut out the nok-jhok, its unnecessary!

Finally, congratulations to Drift poll voters whose faith in Ankita's exit was rewarded, but boy she really showed us for three long weeks, didn't she?

Indian Idol 3 Rubaroo: Bhraata ya Boyfriend

2007-08-31T10:48:00.000-05:00

When I was nine years old, being an only child, one Rakshabandhan the school decided to make an example of me. They had the most chikna girl in school tie a rakhee on my wrist in front of everyone during assembly. Not only was this a tremendous emotional adjustment for me to make but cruel lukkhas teased me relentlessly for years afterwards calling me "maal ka bhai".

Despite considering it to be a touching and wonderful custom, one can understand the subconscious apprehension I feel whenever Rakshabandhan approaches.

Now this whole "bhai or premi" thing on music reality shows has been most amusing. Whenever someone talks about a potential romance between anyone, the girls jump to tie imaginary rakhees on the boys. Remember Richa Aneja and how she announced she was Prashant Tamang's "sister"? That was pretty funny! But whatever happened to just being friends?

Am I the only guy who is creeped out by someone feeling out a girl for a date and then settling to be her relative? And wasn't it a little too weird for guest Leslie Lewis to ask Ankita to romance her newly rakhee brothers? Having said that Ankita may have croaked through "Pyaar kiya" but her serenading the boys was both bold and cute.

Now over to the Drift memsaab (that would be the wife) for her take: Mini seems to be playing matchmaker for Deepali and Chang. And wow, Chang dropped a bombshell when he admitted he was going to meet Deepali! Maybe he's going with a proposal! It would be so cute if they got together. In fact, the best finale for Indian Idol 3 would be if they announced their engagement.

Sure, given that there's hardly good singers around.

Indian Idol 3 Gala - Pretenders and Contenders

2007-08-26T02:04:00.000-05:00

It's never good news for a show struggling for good singers like II3 to end up with three of its vocal luminaries in the bottom three. And the prospect of losing one for sure made everyone jittery this week - most of all host Mini Mathur who looked anxious, became snippy and looked ready to fall apart as she crossed her fingers for the unlucky name to be announced.

And that Chang caught the rough end of the voting is just another result because we are at a point where someone has to go and the judges have been drumming up Amit Paul and Emon as the two most talented contestants for weeks now. But the fact that he left before Ankita and maybe even Prashant might cause some to gnash their teeth. Speaking of which, Prashant continues to surprise me - he's still the only contestant who's never been in any kind of danger. Guess he does have an army of voters punching SMS short codes for him.

And before I go on to make fun of Alisha - her taking care of Chang touched me. If I was picking a team, I'd definitely want her on mine. But hey, at least we won't have to hear her "Chingu Mingu" anymore - which always somehow conjured up visions of a dancing monkey for me.

The evolution of Javed Akhtar as a judge on II3 has been noteworthy to watch. I'll start by saying I'm not a big fan - perhaps even envious of all the attention he gets. Hey, the last time I tried wearing a kurta and slung a bagalthela on my shoulder, the men laughed and the women rolled their eyes. Maybe its the Shabana Azmi halo that does the trick for him.

In any case, early on during the auditions, I would amuse myself by noting that Javed was a little too eager to give yellow passes to the girls. Later, with Anu Malik absent, he was the voice of reason as his co-judges Alisha and Udit went bananas praising anyone who as much as opened their mouth. His honest dressing down of a certain aspiring rock star had me jumping up in my seat and clapping. When Anu returned, Javed bid adieu to common sense and got to work on some solid chamchaagiri of the Mali.

None of this I mind. But when - without provocation - he chose to take what I thought was a rather nasty potshot at resident teddy bear Udit Narayan, it annoyed me no end. Fine Javedbhai - tell us about good singing. What would a premier singer like Udit know anyway? But I'm warning you, one of these days that guy is going to stop laughing and go postal.

So what was the momentum for the rest like on II3? Prashant is finding out that a voice like honey isn't enough to keep him out of trouble. His performance in the disco round, riding on the back of a poor song choice, sounded sweet but was very ordinary. Ankita's vocal nakhras on "Aap Jaisa Koi" (which I've come to hate as a song) sounded good to me. Amit put in his best singing in weeks and sounded close to peak form but Emon took a bit of a blow - choosing a terrific song but letting his voice dip into "Ek Chaturnaar" territory.

A glass half full on Indian Idol 3 Rubaroo

2007-08-24T07:33:00.000-05:00

My wife is way smarter than me. But while I won't concede that Javed Akhtar is awesome, Shabana Azmi is a goddess, Uttarakhand is better than Nargol or that Bongs are the most talented people on the planet - if she tells me she loved II3: Rubaroo yesterday, I'll admit perhaps there is something there. So while I was bored to tears, I'll try my best to see the glass half full here.

First, II3:R gives us the opportunity to listen to the singers without backup music. This gives you an excellent insight into their tonal quality and ability to hold a tune. There was a contrived game host Mini Mathur played with them early on where she would conjure up a situation and ask the contestants to sing a relevant song. This elicited a groan from me initially but listening to the kids sing was educating.

Second, there was "spontaneous" celebration of Mini Mathur's birthday. And this revealed a rather interesting aspect of her personality because normally a chatterbox, she seemed lost for words without looking like an overwhelmed mess - no sobbing, sniffling or on-demand fainting. Nice! Later her rather amiable husband Kabir Khan showed up - displaying all the energy of a 20W bulb. This is a good thing because he looked laid back enough to complement his partner.

Finally, I have a suggestion: since we are talking reality show here (within the recognized limits of reality these days), why not just take the camera inside the contestants' dorms and make it a half hour reality fest? Perhaps a day in the life of a contestant. Or the evolution of a performance from idea to execution. Or: now that one of you has been kicked out, what happens when you get back to the dorms? Who knows - I might even watch without annoying my wife with fake snores.

SRGMP and II3: Dosti and Dikhawa

2007-08-23T15:41:00.000-05:00

Right from the beginning Indian Idol 3 has focused on its contestants first, then the judges. This is a marked departure from SRGMP - where the gurus hold sway over the contestants.

But just like spontaneous social networks form around any given Web 2.0 scenario, so too have the contestants formed their own camaraderie. And more than the vogue-for-the-camera stuff that goes on in II3, I am beginning to enjoy the cute little things the singers do for each other on SRGMP.

Take vocal help for instance. How cool was it that both Sumedha and Mauli sang backup for Raja Hasan on Chinamma Chikamma recently? Or that both Hasan and Harpreet sang their hearts out for Poonam? And even the fake dholak-dafli thumping in the mehfil during the qawaali episode where everyone sat together and took their turn on the stage?

There are moments on II3 as well: watching Emon, Chang and Amit lounge around and uh, jam was one such instance as Mind Rush recently pointed out. But for the most part, thrusting a camera in the faces of the contestants and asking them about their friendship feels fake to me. Even less genuine, when contestants are ordered to show bhitoogiri to promote some product, like say, a scooter. Urk!

Indian Idol 3: An unbalanced equation

2007-08-18T23:26:00.000-05:00

This week's Indian Idol 3 contained one terrific moment which laid out the judges' power equation for all to see. Before the final performance of the show, Anu Malik was suddenly struck with inspiration (given his reputation this probably meant that he thought of some random previously recorded song). He burst out into tune - choosing curiously to imitate a trumpet to convey the sur. He then asked Javed Akhtar to pen the lyrics, which Javedbhai promptly did. Then Anu asked guest Sonu Nigam and Udit Narayan to sing a line each.

It's to host Mini Mathur's credit that she pointed out that Anu didn't give the remaining judge Alisha Chinai anything to sing. Anu laughed it off. But here is why the judging situation in Indian Idol 3 isn't working - the aces are all held by producers, or music directors like we call them. Film directors sign on producers, not singers. And producers sign on singers. In other words, between the singer and their roji-roti stands a producer. And often it can be this guy called Anu Malik.

Having said that, Sonu showed everyone how to handle Anu: chato him, state your opinion, then ignore Anu. Of course, doing that week in and week out can grate on anyone - even a teddy bear like Udit Narayan. I'm not a huge follower of Sonu in the Indian media so when my fellow bloggers tell me he is a egomanaical pain, I won't argue - I don't know any better. But I have always believed he's the best singer in India and with time we'll look on him as someone who surpassed even Mohammad Rafi (sorry, Mum).

His dismantling of the contestants' performances was absorbing and reminded me of Asha Bhonsle's brief stint on SRGMP which reached similar heights. He even awkwardly challenged Malik once, who gracefully conceded the point.

Now, the performers ebb and flow during the course of a show that lasts several weeks. I felt Emon was both outstanding and enjoyable this week. His stock is rising just as Prashant's is taking a beating. (Prashant still remains the only contestant to never get his feet wet in the danger zone). This is reflected in the Drift Stock Ticker for II3.

Finally, a word to the hosts: can we stop those uh, creative games during the segment you call "Results!" and I like to call the kiss-off? One of these days a contestant is going to refuse to leave because they can't be sure where the joke began and if it will ever end. Come to think of it - that could be a lot of fun. Carry on, then!

Indian Idol 3: Voice or Vivacity

2007-08-17T09:00:00.000-05:00

Just when Indian Idol Rubaroo looked like it might have a future, it went and jumped on a grenade.

Early on in this week's show, some fan voicemails were played and emails read out. These were terrific to listen to - full of tacky jazbaat. Crudmonkey! I thought, is this the crowd I belong to now? And I must say that message for Chang sounded suspiciously like Bhumi to me. But I thought the entire show had some good fun with it including the contestants.

Yet more interesting was the minor catfight between Ankita and Puja about performance versus singing, prompted by the jhagda from the previous episode between the Teekhi Talwar and the Meethi Chhuri. Is this show about a singer who can perform or a performer who can sing?

Look at it this way: what is more likely to turn you off? A contestant who dances with uttam energy but sings like a cat on a hot tin roof or a contestant who can barely shake a leg but sings in perfect sur with a sweet voice? Right, I thought so.

It isn't a good sign whenever a guest who gets introduced provokes a "Who?" reaction. So when Sonia Mehra - daughter of Vinod Mehra (sounds like a matrimonal spot already) - showed up, it was apparent we were headed for a snoozefest.

Looking awkward and fidgety, Sonia Mehra tried to smile her way out of trouble. But man, that G is a tough act to follow and the show immediately sagged. Now turns out Sonia Mehra is pseudo-famous for a towel dance in her upcoming flick. Would it have killed Mini Mathur to have squeezed some fun out of that by bringing it up? But no! straight faced questioning ensued. Toothpicks couldn't have kept my eyelids up.

Aftershock and Hussainshock

2007-08-15T07:00:00.000-05:00

A couple of readers have emailed me and at least one reader left a comment asking about the outfitters who dress up Mini Mathur on Indian Idol 3. Mini - who seems to be a lover of blues and magentas - gets her closet filled on II3 from After Shock. The closest I can find anyone bearing that name on the web is a UK based designer and retailer called Aftershock (slightly different spelling, probably same shingle)

Now Aftershock lists a bunch of celebrity customers (including "several Miss UK's") but no Mini Mathur. So I might be wrong here. If I am, drop me a line and I'll be happy to correct this post. (UPDATE: Aftershock's Mumbai outlet at CrossRoads 2, Nariman Point, dug up by our web detective, Manish).

Co-host Hussain, on the other hand, recently popped up on the show having forgotten to put on his banyan. The resulting man-cleavage on a flowing kurta made him look like the love child of Keannu Reeves from Matrix and Himesh Reshammiya from Aap Ka Surroor. And this hurt my eyes.

Preemptively, let me say: anon, really, its not that I hate him for being sexy.

More Updates:

Sania tells us Hussain's wife Tina dresses him up for II3. The referenced article here.

Speaking of which, Ritha wants us to know that Bappi's wife packs his dabba and guess what she puts in it?

Indian Idol 3: The Gala turns blah

2007-08-11T09:20:00.001-05:00

Anyone who has played competitive sports will tell you that in any tournament its not just important to play well but to peak at the right time (right, England?). And up against its musically more accomplished competition - SRGMP and VoI, who seem to be picking up steam - Indian Idol 3 seems to have hit a rut.

The singing this week descended to bathroom level for the most part and the judges' naataks are becoming repetitive and tiresome (compare this to SRGMP who has fresh takes on jhagdas weekly).

Let's take the singers: Amit Paul is II3's luminary. Yet lately - aided by some misguided song selection - we've seen holes in his singing at a rate that could rival any Bollywood plot. Puja and Deepali have been reduced to nervous wrecks by Anu Malik and seem to have lost all josh and masti in their voices. Emon's inability to maintain his tonal quality when hitting the lows is now obvious. Ankita tries desperately to overcompensate for lack of sur (note to girl: never sing behind the judges - it's bad feng shui) And Prashant Tamang's singing now reminds me of a tightrope act - he could stumble and fall any second. The only exception to me seems to be Meiyang Chang - who has started singing well and choosing his songs carefully. He's smart enough that you think he knows when to peak.

And the judges: Udit Narayan's explosion - all 0.0005 tons of it - was interesting for a nanosecond. But both - Javed Akhtar's unprovoked and somewhat mean-spirited attack on Alisha and Udit and later Akhtar's chamchaagiri of Anu Malik running into rough weather over Prashant's singing - were promising but didn't go anywhere juicy.

This has got to be a headache for the producers. It's certainly giving me one.

Indian Idol 3 Rubaroo with G

2007-08-10T10:25:00.000-05:00

The Rubaroo episode of Indian Idol which airs every Thursday has always come across to me as a forced show - an attempt to jostle for ratings and lure audiences to watch an additional night of programming. The initial goal - I'm sure - was nobler: expand the backdrop against which Indian Idol 3 operates by exploring the lives of the contestants. It's meant to be an opening act for the two shows - performance and results - that follow over the weekend. But its never quite hooked me in.

Ganesh Hegde - his dancing highness - on the other hand I have had much fun with. His album G was terrific - the most fun Michael Jackson never had. And so when he showed on Rubaroo, I kept watching instead of hitting the stop and delete button.

Why was G cool? He had a laid back sense of style that seemed unforced. He refused to chato anyone, focussing instead on casual conversation. He had an energy that diffused itself across all the contestants - they started the show looking like they were in a maatam and ended up in a free for all dance.

His advice to the contestants was pretty entertaining to watch. He taught Chang a move based on fitting a light bulb, opening a tap and snuffing out a beedi. Later he told Ankita to do her riyaaz along with her performance so she can figure out how to modulate her moves around her vocals.

His only blemish - he said mindblowing once. Tsk, tsk, any more and you'll be on the M-list, Ganesh.

Emon versus Sa Re Ga Ma Pa

2007-08-07T11:02:00.000-05:00

Twice in a row after coming back from the dead with fine performances, Emon Chatterjee has chosen songs on Indian Idol 3 that have been sung by his counterparts on Sa Re Ga Ma Pa Challenge 2007 in the same week.

His first pick - Sonu Nigam's "Iss Pyaar ko mein kya naam doon" was promptly repeated by Aneek Dhar on SRGMP the same week. And this is just my opinion, but Emon was found comparatively wanting.

The following week, Emon took on Kailash Kher's "Teri Deewani" and this time he sounded wonderful, but struggled very slightly with the lows. Wisely he skipped the low version of the chorus and used his ability to hit the highs and stay on safer terrain. It was good singing, but again unfortunately for him, Raja Hasan on SRGMP, who has a voice that can power a small city, picked the same song. And his deeply immersed sufi rendition was positively terrific.

When comparing singers across both shows along with most of the drifters here I feel that pound for pound the SRGMP singers can wipe the floor with those on Indian Idol 3 - with the possible exception of Mauli Dave. Only Emon and Amit can go toe to toe with the SRGMP contestants.

Perhaps Amit will provide us with a few data points in the coming weeks by overlapping songs with someone on SRGMP - I'm thinking Mussarat.

An Idol in the breaking?

2007-08-05T17:59:00.000-05:00

A lot of people - from the judges to the darshaks to the voting junta - seem to agree that Amit Paul comes closest to being an Indian Idol. In fact, the judges already seem to have anointed him. In the poll to find the winner on this blog, he leads with over 27% of the more than 1600 votes that have been cast so far. The poll stats tell me his appeal is global - he gets props from the US, UK, India, Middle East and Australia. Heck, he's even gotten poll votes from Norway and South Korea.

But last week in the Indian Idol 3 Gala Round, our man bombed. His singing sucked - but by his own standards, it positively blew. Trying to wrestle with Sukhwinder Singh's typically rustic and powerful rendition of the title track from Omkara, he forgot the lyrics, struggled to hit the lows and generally in the face of some mounting panic seemed to barely hold it all together.

Although Javed Akhtar waved off the performance by saying he was lost in Amit's voice (you liar, you), Ila Arun did pull him up and suggested that he might not be best suited for these types of (folksy) songs. Later, this resulted in a hilarious jhagda among the judges.

In light of the fact that Emon and Deepali, after recent dips, have been hitting the right notes, this becomes significant. Amit is a wonderful singer, but any singer can lose his confidence quickly on this pressure cooker of a show. I'm sure all his fans will be crossing their fingers when he comes out to sing this coming Saturday.

Indian Idol 3 Gala Round: The Mali and his flowers

2007-08-05T14:48:00.001-05:00

Rupal, who stops by here, calls him a Malli. Saritha calls him 'Ek aisa mali jisse gulab pasand nahi'. And like a proud gardener, Anu Malik has been claiming every good performance as a result of his khakdaoing the contestants. It hasn't helped that Javed Akhtar has been a ready chamchaa encouraging him and not helping Alisha Chinai or Udit Narayan stand up to him.

Last week Malik lost his temper and the plot. First he defied common sense and attacked guest judge Ila Arun's criticism of Amit Paul's seriously flawed performance of "Omkara". Ila looked puzzled, Javed motioned to her to let sleeping dogs lie. But anyone who can sing about flaring her ghagra around has more spirit than that. So Ila persisted, Alisha joined in and poor Malik lost control: he started ranting like my 5 year old son, Youngling. Alisha looked ready to have a heart attack. Ila Arun looked like she could have thrown the mike to dislodge Malik's hairpiece.

Later in a rather deliciously devised segment, the judges were asked to rate each other. I'm sorry to say I still haven't been able to elevate my intelligence to the point where I can understand what Anu is trying to say. "Alisha is a good judge when she wants to be" he said. Perhaps he meant: Alisha is a good judge when she agrees with me. Who knows?

Everyone called Udit a waffler and afraid of commitment - which he accepted unsurely. Alisha then fired a serious salvo at Javed Akhtar by calling him a wordsmith without a heart. This must have hurt - especially for someone who calls himself a poet. So Javed responded by asking Alisha to stop giggling.

Hooray! Thanks for reading this blog, Javedbhai!

Indian Idol 3 Gala Round: The gulab and the hathoda

2007-07-29T17:57:00.000-05:00

Sure Anu Malik gives balanced comments - sometimes. Most of the time he appears to either hand out a gulab or bring out his hathoda. But like every scooter that works only in first or fifth gear needs a closer look, Anu Malik's comments came in for scrutiny from Alisha Chinai this week.

For a while now in an effort to make that forced episode of Indian Idol 3 (Rubaroo) seem interesting, the producers and Mini have been drumming up a romance between contestants Deepali and Chang.

This resulted in a public dressing down handed out by Anu Malik to Deepali after a particularly insipid performance. "This crush is crushing your singing" he declared. Next episode Deepali was in the danger zone. Now she's been there before but this time Alisha Chinai flew into a rage - lambasting Malik for bringing her personal life into play and holding him responsible for her lack of votes.

The host, Mini Mathur, having first killed all chance of any budding romance by publicly outing it at the alter of ratings gain, now proceeded to act indignant, having forgotten that she had helped put wood to the fire that was being fanned. I'm not complaining - a much entertaining jhagda ensued.

So should Anu have dug into Deepali's personal life this way? It depends on what role people expect Anu to play. If he is a judge, I believe he should stay away from it. If he is a mentor, he should point it out - perhaps not so harshly but its well within his rights to question any possible distraction.

There is some precedence for this: his public reaming of the stagnating Emon Chatterjee has resulted in Emon cutting out the cheeky harkats in his singing. In fact, in the same show he delivered a rousing rendition of Malik's own Sonu Nigam special "Iss Pyaar ko mein kya naam doon" re-staking his claim to the top spot.

With Deepali though, this hathoda approach puts the contestant down a slippery slope. First, she is struggling with her votes - she always gets much fewer than she deserves. Secondly, not everyone - and I believe gender plays an important role here - responds to the barking, abusive coach archetype and raises their game.

Muddled as it was to me there were some positives. Alisha Chinai picked up the mike and made herself heard and she did it well. Chang quietly and gallantly supported his friend without fear of reprisal from Malik.

And a darshak made a terrific point during an audience reaction clip. Why is everyone talking about Deepali, she suggested, aren't there two people in the romance? Indeed!

Indian Idol 3: Kiss offs and Kiss Curls

2007-07-22T12:23:00.000-05:00

The smart folks who voted here for who will be eliminated on II3 this week got it dead right. A whopping 38.9% of the votes went to Charu Semwal - who promptly got the kiss of death on the show. Goodbye Charu, we'll miss that fine bone structure.

Meanwhile the whole girls versus boys fire was fanned by the hosts of the show early on, knowing no doubt that three of the bottom four would end up being girls.

Javed Akhtar - visibly pissed at the emerging gender bias - picked up the mike and called the voting junta bhala bura. He's right of course about voting patterns and gender affinity. But his argument of women not being able to help themselves when given the opportunity was both simplistic and disappointing.

Finally, Alisha Chinai needs to attend an urban dictionary course. In an attempt to be chakaas-cool, she kept misusing phrases to amusing effect. "You really blew it" she said when praising Meiyang Chang. She tried to rouse Charu by exclaiming "You really gave it to us!". Later she informed Ankita Mishra "Aag laga di tumne! You smoked it!" On top of all the trip ups, she also said mindblowing once - minus 10,000 points!

Also Alisha, congratulations on singing increasingly complex songs with panache - loved your work in Raqeeb. But can you go easy on the curling irons? Your bouncing curls are distracting and make you look like that most unstylish Parsi aunty from Vadodara who ran away with the guy from Goa. Any more curls and they might have to be given their own Republic.

Govinda aala re on Indian Idol 3

2007-07-21T17:11:00.000-05:00

My image of Govinda has been that of an unrefined star. And as soon as he showed up on Indian Idol 3 this week that image seemed to be instantly validated.

His hair looked strange - dry on top and gelled on the sides - like someone was trying to hold his toupee in place with glue. His shirt was visibly struggling to keep things from popping. His sleeveless coat was several inches too short from behind and kept making involuntary trips up his back. And his pants would have shamed Rod Stewart - a doctor would undoubtedly have labeled them a circulatory hazard.

But then Govinda opened his mouth. And shame on me for stereotyping people by the kind of movies they act in. Our man turned out to be an abstract expressionist. He used abstract phrases to express his diplomacy, gently letting the contestants know that they had something special but were no great shakes. Which I think is a fair assessment of the contestants on Indian Idol 3 as far as pure vocal talent goes.

When he was asked by host Mini Mathur to plug his movie Partner, he waved it off and chose to focus on the good hearted-ness of Salman Khan instead. He jhadoed philosophy, showed a keen ear for singing, handed out rousing nuggets of advice and generally touched me with his generosity and willingness to play along.

But while I have a new-found appreciation of Chi Chi, does any of this make me want to go see his new flick any more than before? No. Now, can we stop with the relentless shilling?

The video for the episode can be viewed here.

Indian Idol 3: Shabana Azmi and the public shredding of Anu Malek

2007-07-15T22:50:00.000-05:00

I'll confess I am not a big fan of Shabana Azmi. How much not a fan? I thought her best movie was Parvarish (some pictures and a review if you're interested over at Beth's). This is the cause of some alarm in my house because my wife (who I admit is smarter than me) thinks Shabana is a goddess. So I was more than a little cagey when she showed up recently on Indian Idol 3 as a replacement for husband Javed Akhtar.

But her work on the show was delightful. She could easily have smiled and played good cop - no one would have held it against her. Instead she dissected performances with grace, didn't overcompensate or adjust any judgement and made sure she kept everyone's chin up.

And then when Anu Malek went after Emon Chatterjee, she let him have it. "You shouldn't discourage competitors this way!" she thundered. This was much fun to watch - someone finally shutting Malek up, albeit momentarily. (Hopefully Alisha Chinai took some notes on how to project and wield power. Hint: no peals of giggling). Right after the performances, some of the contestants' comments that filtered through showed growing discontent in the ranks.

More was to follow for Malek. In the second show, the hosts singled out Emon and showed clips of the junta shaking their heads at Malek and showing their support for Emon. Malek swallowed hard and said something to save face that I still can't understand.

Now whether this slows down the man or not remains to be seen. A better critique of Emon came from Alisha who pointed out that Emon sounded worse than before and he was stuck in a rut. And speaking of singing, its interesting how the equation has changed. The two most consistent voices now belong to Deepali and Amit Paul.

Both excelled last week, particularly Amit, who as ~mad munky~ astutely pointed out, seemed to be the sole contestant who put voice before performance. It's not every day that Udit Narayan jumps out and risks tripping on his achkan to come and congratulate someone on stage.