Sunday, October 21, 2007

Kareena - Saif take heed of Mind Rush's Love Commandments

Mind Rush reads out the Love Commandments to the latest high profile Bollywood couple

Sigh!! So many link-ups, so little time…..Seems Chote Nawaab and “Poo” are an item (see here and Kareena's awesome quote at the end here)

And me, the Shobhaa De wannabe, can’t resist doling out some observations and phaltu Drift advice.

First let’s examine the couple’s collective baggage. Saif has kids, an ex-wife an ex girlfriend and…well, let’s just say multiple other past link ups. Also, apparently, the Bade Nawaab and his Begum have much to say about Saif’s love connections. On the other hand Kareena has her ex, Shahid, who was her very public LTR. (To those that claim to not surf Singles ads, that stands for Long Term Relationship.) Of course there is also Kareena's formidable Mother (with a capital M)

But what’s the problem? Saif and Kareena are both single, consenting adults.

Sure, sure. But many a love relationship has met with an unhappy end because the lovers ignored the following Love Commandments. (Don’t say we didn’t warn you…)

1.Thou shalt not date until you have properly mourned a previous relationship. Simple, yaar. You can’t jump in a nanosecond from an LTR to a new guy without old baggage re-surfacing. The longer the LTR, the longer the self-imposed moratorium on re-dating should be. But, alas! This advice comes too late for Kareena.

2.Thou shalt be very hesitant to date a guy who went from wife to girlfriend to other relationships to you. In between he was hospitalized and quit smoking. Listen, K! He’s on the rebound (from nicotine). He’s vulnerable, cigarette-deprived. Best to wait until his blood-nicotine level is zero and cravings have passed.

3.Thou shalt be very wary of dating a Diva. Statutory Warning for Saif - divas can cause drama and tension in men.

4.Thou shalt examine your lover’s exes under a microscope. Because here’s a huge nugget of truth---most people make the same relationship mistakes over and over. Sooner or later you will see your lover’s faults just as his exes did. Same advise for the gentleman.

5.Thou shalt think again and again about how one’s dating impacts one’s kids. Rethink. Repeat. No further explanations needed.

6.Thou shalt tread very carefully when dealing with new love interest’s kids. Every kid automatically hates dad’s new GF. Being a step parent is even harder. Call Ms. Azmi for survival tips NOW.

7.Thou shalt take things slow especially if your last relationship went south recently. Both love birds, please take note. (Ladakh, motorcycles and nightclubs are great distractions. Sometimes they blind you to the reality of the relationship.)

8.Thou shalt not let your parents drive your lover away. In other words, respect your parents but know that too much parental love is bad for your libido.

9.Thou shalt not fake a relationship. OK, so you moved on. But you denied it for the sake of movie publicity? No, nope, never do that.

10.Thou shalt take free love advice seriously. Esp. from Mind Rush. And did I mention that it is free?

These youngsters… Sigh! But even the cynic in me can see they make a cute couple. So my favorite blessing goes out to them too, yani ki, “jodi salaamat rahe.”



Unknown said...

Mind Rush, Shobha De just called. She's fedexed you her torch.

Shekhar Ki Deewani said...

They make a weird couple...totally on a rebound...seriously wont be surprised if they dump each other...i went thru 2 rebounds..lasted only for 2 months sure mom Babita will step in and point out that her baby's new beau isnt a Kapoor...and Saif is the kind who doesnt like his women to work and, none of these commandments wud work...

Anonymous said...

Dear Shekhar ki, You HAVE been busy...Two rebounds and now Shekhar?..Well, the Love Commandments should certainly be helpful to you :-)

Shekhar Ki Deewani said...

Anonymous said...

Thou shalt continue writing and supporting Aspi in making this a great funplace to be in!!!
Well, I am wondering whether this whole issue is just a fake plan to garner publicity for their Jab We Met.Shahid-Kareena have been a pair since so many years, so a movie with both of them would create no great interest. Now with their break-up,maybe everyone is supposed to say 'hey, lets just watch how they acted as a couple when they had actually broken up in real life!".And once its a hit(?), maybe Kareena will patch up with Shahid, and then everyone will watch Tashan(I think thats the name) to see how the broken pair of Saif-Kareena acted together!!!
Well, seems like the staged dramas of SRGMP,II3 and VOI are making my cynical of all these news headlines.

Anonymous said...

My ma-in-law who grew up on Hindi movies of the 50-60s says its all becos of Babita.Her take is that "Babita wasnt keen on the Karishma-Abhishek jodi to continue cos Aby was termed as a flop actor. Now since Shahid hasnt even one hit to his name , she has ensured that Kareena dumps him.'.
Well,just the way Aby started churning out hits post-his-breakup, maybe Shahid will also rise to the top od the charts soon.

Anonymous said...

mind rush, yet again: poore dus marks. all the besht!

love the commandments :). seems like shahid will abide by c#1. the aggrieved seems to go thru the prescribed mourning period, not so much the 'aggriever'. check out this link:

maybe this one is not intended to be a LTR. perhaps it's fluff and a good time, so except for #6 do the commandments matter?

anu g, manipulated as we are by showbiz puppeteers, i totally agree that cynicism is the first refuge except that i have the equally cynical view that most showbiz relationships can't last! the more the public proclamations of love and compatibility (and Shahid-Kareena made several), the less likely the relationship is to survive :P

Anonymous said...

Great Post Mind Rush...Superb, Outstanding, Mindblowing, Fantasticc!! It's been a while since I've heard those words, so I thought I'd throw them out there! :D

Anu g, I agree, I've become a cynic too, and it wouldn't surprise me if this was a publicity stunt. I do like your ma-in-law's sort of makes sense, but look at what happened to Abhi after the Kapoors said no, maybe this break up is good for Shahid, in the long run!

Anonymous said...

I see the future - Shahid is going to end up marrying Priyanka Chopra.

Anonymous said...

...or mebbe yukta mukhi

ppl said...

Awkward jab we met promotion on Nach Baliye last week. Kareena squirmed, shahid was at his boyish best.

Anonymous said...

Shahid comes across as Mr. Nice Guy. Given Kareena's turbulent childhood I can see why she would dump Nice Guy and pick Bad Boy.

Hope Kareena does not go through the same drama that her big sis went through with divorce threats, hubby's affair, etc. etc.

Anonymous said...

Leera, thanks for the link. Indeed it was awkward --- the opening dialogue seemed very stilted and uncomfortable. I got the sense that Shahid is relishing the moral upper hand and Kareena just comes off as guilty! But defi subtle undercurrents, nothing direct or overt. Shahid for all his endearing schoolboy demeanor always seemed out of his league with Kareena. Maybe it will be good for him to step out of her shadow. As for Kareena, I don't see the new 'saif' haven as more than a dalliance!

BTW, maybe coz this was an elimination epi and I was watching for the first time and had no stake .... this was extremely boring and painful. There was no dramatic cut and thrust. I struggled mightily only for Shahid and Kareena observation.

Anonymous said...

shahid was so boring. he seems as interesting as a log of wood. I heard he goes to bed at 8 and gets up early. If i were Kareena I would have dumped him long ago. I am surprised she put up with him for so long.

Shahid should hook up with amrita Rao or something and then they can go attend Art of Living classes and have puja sessions together.

Anonymous said...

also shahid is a horrible kisser, does anyone remember that leaked kissing video?

Also there is no bulge when he's wearing tight pants and i won't say anything further but you know what I'm hinting at

Anonymous said...

have you people read the latest news which blames shahid for the breakup?looks like kareena's PR is in major damage control mode to make her come out roses despite dumping her bf in his absence.why wasnt this news published earlier?...its just shows who weilds the mightier pen this case the kapoor gal..

Anonymous said...

Poor Shahid. I'm with the underdog on this one guys.

Shekhar Ki Deewani said...

Gees Meg, kahin pe nigahen, kahin 'penis hana'

Unknown said...

Based on what I saw on NB3, I'd say Kareena was a dork of the highest order.

Chhotu on the other hand came across as a gallant trier.

Since I don't have to kiss Chhotu anytime soon - this would work for me.

Anonymous said...

Somehow, I never liked Kareena.She's self-conscious and trying hard to sound cool. Sorry,bebo you are not!

On the other hand,Saif'd been eyeing Kareena for some time now.If Iam not mistaken,he said on KWK last season "Kareena has great a**"...yup he said that on national TV.