Black and Blue on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa

I'm convinced John Abraham is a comedic genius! Let me explain.

On this week's JDJ, the star of the show - that would be Mir Ranjan Negi to everyone who's been living under a rock so far - got ready for another side-splitting routine.

This time, he dressed up in a shimmery black outfit with gold lame all over. He then donned a moth-eaten afro and applied what looked like black boot polish all over his face. Then he came out bouncing a basketball. It took me a few seconds or so to realize he was trying to channel a black basketball player.

Now if he had tried this around here in Chicago, he would have become the next CIO (Career Is Over) of the industry. Be that as it may, with this look in place, he bombed. Not funny bombed. He just bombed. This saddened me - because more than anyone else I like seeing Negi in full flow.

Bipasha Basu, who was all geared up to praise Negi to the skies, admonished him for disappointing her. But then John Abraham grabbed the mike and said more or less this: "Negi, the skin on your face was all dark. And so when you smiled, your white teeth really stood out. And this made your smile very noticeable. And this smile really saved your ass today" On the pantheon of nonsensically kind things to say, this one must rank pretty high.

Meanwhile, JDJ as a show took a rather nasty turn.

First, Mika got kicked off the show - and the bad vibes between him, the judges and his peers on the show resulted in a surreal results episode. Last week, frustrated with the judges thanda reaction to his rather sloppy dances, Mika asked his fans to refrain from voting for him.

Now on his exit, he grabbed the mike and proceeded to tell everyone how only Mika could have caused the exit of Mika, no one else. "My job was to increase the grandeur of this show" he smiled "which I've done. Now I'm leaving so others can get a chance to come forward". Heh, heh. A heart of gold, our Mika has.

The saga of Jay Bhanushali also plumbed some tacky depths. Tired with Jay's constant whining and recognizing the pettiness behind his claims that the judges were biased, Urmila finally had a go at him. In a voice that could freeze hot lava from a volcano in three nanoseconds, she ripped him up for focusing on the wrong things. Jay, who had earlier tried chatoing Urmila, for once looked lost for words.

This was followed by a dance plagued with wardrobe malfunction for his luckless choreographer. That same dance ended in both barely keeping their balance in the end.

Thus chastised, Jay tried to salvage some pride with an undoubtedly rehearsed jig where he chatoed Bipasha and asked her to dance with him. Phaltu Drift advice for Jay: it's pointless to create more opportunities to do stuff you're not good at - like dancing!

Ronit Roy has now become a highly interesting character in the show. He's dancing better than anyone else (he gamely took on Hritik Roshan's jig in Dhoom 2 and did it rather well).

But you get to see these montages of a driven, sad sack type of guy who keeps pushing himself, mainly by getting constantly pissed at his choreographer. Despite his extra humble personae, this makes him difficult to like whole heartedly.

Finally, the prospect of a wild card entry to either Prachi or Sudha Chandran caused much bitching among the contestants. I'm not sure how I would handle JDJ but if I were a producer (and I recognize I'm nowhere near being one), I would consider it the responsibility of the hosts to control the vibes on the show and generally keep them positive. In that, Rohit Roy and Mona Singh seem to be failing spectacularly.

Also:

• anu g gives us the inside scoop on the Sudha/Prachi wild card battle and links to Prachi's difficult return to the show



• Megan reminds us she predicted Prachi's return, will miss Mika in a messed up way is annoyed with Sonali



• do not want slams John and Bipasha and Aspi's obsession with them



• Bella finds John a hottie of note



• Saritha likes both and thinks Bips is sexy because of her attitude



• headmistress liked John in No Smoking and loves Bips for bucking the phair and lovelee trend



• Mind Rush thinks John and Bips' body language has improved since II3 and asks: where in the world is Shiamak Davar?



• SkD is PO'd at Ronit Roy



• Megan rants about desi soaps and has a mystery crush on a celeb participant on a celeb reality show (hope its not Ricardo Montalban)
  



• Leera thinks John and Bips are the cure for a show's slump and loved Bips chiding John for marginalizing her role



• Bipasha's hotness inspires Sania



• Joules says Ekta has become the George Bush of India and rates John's torso



• The top five reasons Shiamak is missing from JDJ by Mind Rush, nutmeg and SkD



• Sania links to India's Michael Jackson and thinks SkD is probably on the money



• Sidekick provides a link for the Bips Fan Club