Monday, November 05, 2007

The winners on Nach Baliye 3 is a numbers game

First, I'd like to confess my complete unsuitability to be commenting on these dance shows like JDJ and NB. Not only can I not dance better than any of the worst contestants but I have only marginally more class than Jay Bhanushali (although you could argue who doesn't).

But even with my layman's knowledge of nach, I can say that the Farah Khan-driven episode this week contained some fine dancing. And I'm including that Alexx-Shweta jodi when I say that.

However, dancing aside, I tuned in to the elimination episode and for the first time was completely transfixed at the circus that unfolded.

Prem Jyotish shows up: First, a jyotish showed up and started some number crunching of a very different kind. His job was to look at the stars (planetary) and lay the odds for each jodi in the show. Armed with a sheet of paper - much like a newsreader - jyotish threw out some highly confounding explanations as to how he rated the chances of each jodi. To borrow from Jerry Macguire, he had me at one. Never have I have been so dumbstruck watching this show.

Funnily enough, the numbers for each jodi (expressed as a percentage chance to top the show) seemed to follow the judges scoring so far. In other words, our jyotish seemed to have spent most of his time watching the show rather than consulting with the planets. Hilarity!

"I've been had!" Later yet, when the Alexx-Shweta jodi were given a 65% chance, Alexx grabbed the mike and revealed that the same jyotish had convinced him to add an extra 'x' to his name. "I expected 100%!" he complained loudly. Dude, if you get the feeling you've been had, the quiet train is the best one to take home.

The ambush of Rakhi: No sooner was this over than Rakhi Sawant got ambushed by Hussain. In typical reporter fashion - Hussain raised the self-manufactured issue of everyone (read: people he knows including himself) labeling Rakhi a drama queen.

Now I would have dismissed this as a lame attempt at injecting life in an elimination episode. After all, accusing Rakhi of manufacturing drama is like stating Mika is annoying. But Rakhi Sawant immediately rose to her defence - and had me fascinated! Why? Because she defended herself using the exact behaviors (self-aggrandizing statements, little-girly voice modulation, mood turns on a dime) that she was being accused of. A future in entertainment is assured!

Bye, bye item girl #2: Finally, Kashmera Shah and her rather amiable boyfriend got kicked off. Her poor boyfriend tried to say goodbye to the judges but a furious Kashmera cracked the whip and insisted they walk off dramatically. "Let them be!" she commanded, making her partner scurry to her side. This - I'm not ashamed to say it - was also much fun to watch.

Farah Khan takes a bow: All of this almost reduced Farah Khan's appearance on the flagship episode of the weekend to a mere sideshow. That episode started off with a montage to show what a biarch Farah can be to her crew - a strange way of welcoming a celebrity guest if there ever was one.

Much good natured ribbing followed between Farah and Hussain. Clearly in her presence - which I enjoyed immensely - everyone took a back seat - including Isha Koppikar, sporting a rather scrumptious Wonder Woman hairstyle and Vaibhavi Merchant, whose hair couldn't decide which direction to point in.

"I'll be sending Shahrukh to this show for Diwali" Farah announced. When in the mood, SRK can make a slice of bread sound like the eighth wonder of the world, so I can't wait to see what he will say to Rakhi Sawant. But more importantly, I await to see what face she'll pull on him.



Anonymous said...

Aspi, Your numerology and stars predict that enjoy poking fun at folks on JDJ and NB.
Seriously, thanks for the laughs!

Anonymous said...

Aspi, can I just say phad dala tuney! (which strikes me as being a huge upgrade over mindblowing!!). I always chuckle long and hard at your posts and captions, but this was a tour de force even for you :)

I find the numerology stuff fascinating. What a stroke of genius on the part of Star to invite a numerologist and let him unleash his 'skills' on the show. BTW, I noticed that the L'il champs show spelt the name as Sonu Nigaam. Has Sonu been to a numerologist recently or is he simply taking a leaf out his good friend Anu Malik's book?

I've always found Farah entertaining to watch. She almost always ends up insulting a bunch of people in spontaneous, cavalier fashion which is always fun! I take it there was no jhagda between the 2 choreography divas. With so much else to entertain, I can see how that drama was not missed. But given anu g's nugget on the Vaibhavi-SLB jodi, it seemed that at least a deep freeze is in order. SLB and Farah have been going hammer and tongs at each other over supremacy for the diwali weekend splash at the box office.

ppl said...

Wow aspi, you have really done this justice, not one juicy detail from that drama filled episode was missed!

Hussain seems to have come into his own on NB3 with or without wifey. He doesn't seem to chato any of the 'celebrity' guests too much. Almost anti-idol3.

Deepika tearing up was touching and you saw a brief flash of emotion in her normally calm, guarded face.

All in all this week was definitely NB3 all the way. Even the usually fast forward worthy elimination episode had me glued.

Anonymous said...

hahahaha...nice one Aspi...finally the Govinda nephew's out..mann he was so iirritating...n de numerology crap...mann, how can ppl belive all dis nonsense..hahaha...and the new 'Mindblowing'...well u also forgot the 'superb, fantastic, and amazing'bit....."RAITA FAYLADIYA"....wenever Vaibhavi says that I sudddenly get biryani cravings...weird cuz im trying to turn veggie....hmm..bad influence eh???
and my cat, Kekasi, looks exactly like Rakhi..:-s

Anonymous said...

Here's SRK with Rakhi on NB3.

So which movie (OSO oe Sawaariya) are the drifters going to watch first?

I am leaning towards OSO but then I love the energy of SRK movies.

Unknown said...

SkD, there are times when Rakhi reminds me a bit of Chucky - which freaks me out.

Joules, I have plans to watch OSO - it just sounds like it would be more in line with the Diwali atmosphere.

Unknown said...

Sidekick, no jhagdas or any such thing between Farah and Vaibhavi. They were hugely cordial to each other and even tried to be friendly. But you could see in the way Vaibhavi would squirm slightly when Farah held center stage that she was dying to say something.

In any case, they were both gracious.

Tania said...

Aspi and other drifters,
Have you dealt with this Numerology scenario?Will Drift attract more drifters if it was spelt Drriifftt instead? Is Himmy auspicious for the drift? I am so tired of this weird K soap spellings. Instead of the desi ladies taking out morchas about K soaps corrupting them, they should worry more about how the weird Hinglish spellings.

Unknown said...

Tania, I don't know if it will help traffic (I'm actually happy with what I have), but I think it'll be a tremendous experiment to try.

Any amateur jyotish's who want to come up with a title in which the numbers add up?

Sania said...

Yes, but Vaibhavi and Farah didn't agree on their choreographer of the day. I was ready for a throw down then, but no such luck.

Rakhi actually reminds me of Chucky too. While I do have a soft spot for her now, I think she should lay off the botox.

I'm still struggling to understand 'raita phailadiya" because to me, it's a little like - spilling the milk. And nobody should cry over spilt milk.

I liked Kashmira and Krushna - another numerologist there, Krush? - but she was kind of beeyotchi about her elmination. And she clearly wears the pants in that relationship.

Also - I read somewhere that Krushna gave Kashmeera a ring after their performance on the OSO episode. Too bad they cut that out. Or did I just miss it? I know they cut out the Tina Hussain performance, which I would have liked to see. Poo.

Can anyone shed some light on the filming of NB3? They're all wearing the same outfits on the elimination ep. Do they not wait for the votes to come in? Or do they just fake it the next day? I mean I know the Indian Idol timing was sort of faked, because the gala was filmed a week prior to being aired, but what's the deal here??

Anonymous said...

Sania, good to know the dance divas had at least a moment of disagreement. After swearing off staged antagonism and conflict post HR's antics, I was perversely hoping for a cat fight between the divas :) . i love that i can enjoy all the highlights without once watching these dance shows, so thanks to all of you for the juicy details :D

Anonymous said...

Aspi, me watchin OSO too...cuz Vishal's gonna play a stripper in it:s.....shud have got Shekhar insted....

Anonymous said...

umm skd, he's not playing a stripper in it, it was just a joke.. he plays a director of some mvoie in it

Anonymous said...

thanks no OSO for me:D

Unknown said...

How does one play a stripper, anyway?

Anonymous said...

they pose by the pole wearing a leather thong and gyrate while having people throw stripper money at them

"paisa fek tamasha dek"

Unknown said...

Ok, technically that is stripping, not playing a stripper. To play a stripper I imagine you have to dig deep down and project a stripper personality on screen.

I think Vishal could have done it.

Anonymous said...

"project a stripper personality", that is hilarious.

btw, early review of OSO. Spoiler alert, view it at your own risk

Unknown said...

The question for me is: can my kids see it? I don't want Arjun Rampal trying to molest Deepika for example and have to explain that to my innocent sons.

(Now that I don't have to explain Vishal doing a pole dance to them)

Anonymous said...

Aspi - Why take a chance with Desi Movie for the kids - They can do well watching Paediatric SRGMP !

Unknown said...

parveen, you have a point. But they have both - inexplicably - become fans of Shahrukh and Ritwik and want to go!

And honestly, I enjoy watching Bollywood flicks at the local theater here as long as I pick them carefully and set my expectations according to the plotline.

Anonymous said...

I am sure they will be adding Ranbir to their list of Hritik & Shaharukh after watching Sanwaria.

The kid is adorable and has all the sparks to be the next superstar one day !
Happy Diwali

Unknown said...

I suspect Ranbir will end up with skewed demographics in his fan base in terms of gender - and its not hard to guess which way they will skew. It has to do with the film, his projected image and the fan base of his parents.

Anonymous said...

Wow, its great to be back here.Aspi,I think u have been kind to Kashmira by saying she only asked Krishna to let them be. She actually commanded 'Krishna, come here!!!", (just like my neighbour tells her pet dog when i am standing transfixed as it tries to lick/bite me.Its 'Tommy,come here!")and poor Krishna, looked longingly at the judges hoping to get his share of sympathy, but had to obediently follow his mistress away from the sets!!

Anonymous said...

Spoiler of NB
Shweta & her Firangi Fionce is out - Kash Krush back through a wild card and Rakhi dowing a Gabbar Singh

Anonymous said...

thanks parveen

They are so biased towards that kashmeera and her pet dog..

sweta and alexx are so cool, how come they didn't get a chance of wildcard

and didn't kashmeera stage a walk out? lol this woman has no self respect.. will she be a great big drama queen again when she comes back?

heheh how long before she makes an appearance in here with a big bhasan?