Monday, June 02, 2008

The art of the undance

Every once in a while one must pause to enjoy the spectacle that is Bollywood. And that means - really bad dance items!

Let's start with one that's been around for a few weeks: Debojit growling his way through Marhaba. Now growls are tough to do - because you have to create enough variation so the song doesn't become annoying past the first two listens. Debojit does this one so mechanically, it's hard to listen to. There's no shame in this of course. Bade Bade supersingers stumble at this particular hurdle. Example: Shaan doing Shagufta Dil (Anu Malik composing for Anamika), a song with nifty arrangements but poorly conceptualized vocals.

In fact, of late, Kunal Ganjawala is the only one who seems to be able to do the Bollywood growl correctly. Imagine Kunal in a court of law but after six rounds of tequila shots and you'll have fun listening to the terrific title track from Shaurya. More grr-Kunal also worth a listen from Pokiri.

But back to Marhaba: fortunately for Debojit, Mimoh saves the song by executing some chuckleworthy moves including one where he tries to convince everyone that a synth is actually a flute. What's great about this vid is that watching Mimoh's feet alone is worth a few views.

And let it be said that on the Drift, we don't only get our entertainment from bad male dancers. Superbad dance routines executed by actresses are loved just the same. And there is much to enjoy here watching Diya Mirza doing a one legged turn while what appears to be mock-talking on the phone on Soni Soni from Zindagi Tere Naam.



Anonymous said...

Am i going crazy or is that Dia Mirza song oddly mesmerising? Of late, she seems to have become about a million times more watchable than she ever was a Hot Young Thing Lost in the Shadows of Rai and Sen. Although, I don't watch her movies so maybe its only limited to songs.

And Mimoh. I have a feeling once I get started, I won't stop so I just won't start. I'm practicing magnanimity in my old age.

Also Kunal Ganjawala - sitting on the fence because I suspect he's the idiot who brought lisping your "R"s into fashion. Thus far its only a suspicion so I content myself by giving him dirty looks on the TV screen but one day I will find proof and then I will send a fleet of totlas to hound him everywhere he goes. You wait and watch.

Anonymous said...

That is funny, Amrita. I was thinking the same about Dia. The girl has some strategy going. Show up in game shows, movie premiers, b'day parties you name it. And eventually people would want to see you in a movie.

I have to say though about that song, that is the worst choregraphed song I have ever seen.

Regarding Mimoh, he provides me with a lot of entertainment so I LOVE him.

Unknown said...

Something is wrong with Diya Mirza I can't quite place. She's good looking, great hair, nice eyes, wonderful teeth, good height, nice shoulders and excellent elbows (I just threw that last thing in there but I bet you they are).

But I can't figure out why she looks a little off. It could be her dress sense, her lack of chin, who knows?! But it bugs me that I can't put my finger on it.

Anonymous said...

My mom calls her 'aadva keLa' which means 'horizontal banana'. This refers to her weepy smile :-p The woman always looks like she is going to burst into tears.

Anonymous said...

whatever that strategy is, Amrita Arora is following as well. There's no event this girl has missed. Someone please remind me, what was the last actual movie we saw her in?

Anonymous said...

oh, I know, I know...

It was the lesbian flick. I know that was'nt the last one but I wanted to talk about it.

I caught that movie on TV one time and god that was soft p**n.

Anonymous said...

what the...
I need to know the name of this movie...also, Amritha, Shamitha, having taller and more glamorous older sisters is not helping your cause, need to change careers.

Anonymous said...

It had a very subtle title- Girlfriend :-D

Also *ed Isha Koppikar.

Anonymous said...

meena, add Tanisha to the chhoti behen list.

Anonymous said...

haha all three of them tried hard to pull off the skimpy clothes look. just not happening is it:-)

Unknown said...

Amrita Arora was in a lesbian movie with Isha Koppikar?!! This might be BTM (Better Than Mimoh).

Anonymous said...

Yep, and apparently Amrita's family was so disgusted by it they walked out of the premiere and it was all over the papers how much Amrita regretted doing it blah blah

Watch at your own peril :-p

Anonymous said...

The Dia song *is* mesmerizing. I'm about to go search for the full song and or video.

Also, what's the lisping R? Would someone kindly point me to the song and what minute mark it appears in please? :)

Anonymous said...


Aspi, I know what you mean about Dia's face. It may be the chin and the jawbone. Sometimes the lack of those two strong features makes her look weird.

Also in that video, for a split second, I thought she reminded me of Anne Hathaway, the actress.

Anonymous said...

Personally think she has nothing striking about her face or her style.

Had read an interview of a vogue editor on how they pick models and she said their are hundreds of pictures of beautiful women they get everyday and the trick is that the face should be striking in that few seconds that they glance at the picture.

ppl said...

Dia suffers from the 'lack of chin' giving her as Pitu rightly called it a 'horizontal banana smile'. I always liked her though, and she was one of the first to milk the award ceremony hosting job in starletdom, every other celebutante is doing it nowadays.

I had to watch the mimoh dance over and over again. I don't know whether its the 'basuri jackson' step or debojit's growling(like trying to scold ur dog), I was hypnotised by this one.

You dig up the best random stuff, aspi. I would never have watched the awesome dia video or heard the badass shaurya song on my own!
Does the mood good.

Parveen Sibal said...

Pappu Can't Dance:

It had to happen and it has… first Aamir Khan insulted Amitabh Bachchan over his acting in critically praised film Black, then he went ahead and told the world about his pet dog who is named after Shah Rukh, and now the bald-headed perfectionist uses a song to make a joke out of… wait for it… our Salman Khan!

Aamir has put pen to paper and written lyrics for a song that ridicules Salman Khan, and will now use it on the soundtrack of his forthcoming film Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na… which introduces his nephew Imran Khan.

A source says, “Aamir has been meticulously planning and executing every aspect of his nephew’s debut film with director Abbas Tyrewalla. He also roped in A R Rahman, the best name in the music industry to compose the music of this film.”

The song has a lot of attitude and spunk and is filmed on Imran and his gang of friends where they are addressing the song to Pappu, a burly rich guy in their college. While shootong the song, Aamir ended up saying, ‘I hope Salman doesn’t mind this song’.

Here are some of the lyrics that Aamir has used to make a joke out of a fellow actor:

Hai muscular… Very muscular
Hai popular… Very popular
Hai muscular hai popular
He’s a bachelor
Pappu ki gaadi tez hai
Pappu kudiyon mein craze hai
Pappu ki aankhen light-blue
Pappu dikhta angrez hai
Rado ki ghadi haathon mein
Perfume Gucci wala
But Pappu can’t dance, saala
But Pappu can’t dance, saala
Haan Pappu naach nahin sakta

As you can see… each line has been written in such a way that it describes Salman and his habits. What we ask you, was this really needed… could Aamir have gone without making a joke out of Salman Khan… why is Aamir getting up the wrong sides of every other actor… is the career of his nephew this much important to him… who will Aamir target next… we ask you…

Unknown said...

Pitu, tremendous link. I spilled my yogurt. Clearly, I need to go out more.

Best line in the scene (not that it had many lines): "Teen saal ki dosti ek raat ke liye..." That is a line written for Raj Babbar if you ask me.

Unknown said...

Parveen, well we all thought SRK was the joker of Bollywood. Turns out its Aamir.

Unfortunately for him, he's enough of an outsider in the game that the backlash will be brutal. And as a certain Vivek Oberoi will tell you: you mess with Salman at your peril.

Anonymous said...

Salman mere bade bhai jaise hai. Unhone jo bhi uss waqt kiya meri bhalai ke liye kiya.

Mera career toilet mein daal diya lekin mujhe unke liye sirf respect hai.

Ek minute, Sallu bhai, abhi chai laya!

Ha to, Aamir, yeh tumne theek nahi kiya.

Anonymous said...

Someone should make a DVD compilation of the worst dance sequences in Indian cinema history.

As usual, great post, Aspi.

Anonymous said...

Youuu arrrrrr so gorgeous...BFFs forever!

Kanan said...

Here are a couple of them: (too bad I couldn't find a video of "laal gharara" song from Baadal) Enzoy!

These are actually nice I like them. :D

Kanan said...

Btw, I totally enjoyed Mimoh's crazy dance and Dia looks great! I really liked her it's-too-hot-in-here-someone-please-bring-me-a-fan dance move @ 00:15 mins.

Parveen Sibal said...

Learn Pinglish ( Punjabi English )

Here is a Youtube Link to Rural Punjab Kids practicing Nursery Rhymes in Pinglish!

Anonymous said...

i wish all these youtube links were clikable

i am too lazy electronically to copy paste

Kanan said...

m, sorry, I just got lazy too. Will link them up next time. I wish blogger guys implemented this though. I mean if it's a link, why not display it like a link already? But I am guessing that may be it has to do with the spam links being posted all over the place, in posts, in comments, etc.

Anonymous said...

...and its been done before!!!

Several people I spoke to who saw the Mimoh dance right away identified the famous original 'veena' move by Chiranjeevi in the movie Indra.
See how a master does it...39s into the song.

Unknown said...

Arre, why haven't I seen a movie with Chiranjeevi in it before?! These India stores are so scared of confirming anything over the phone that I will now have to haunt them in person to get DVDs.

I liked leera's tag of "basuri jackson" the best.