Monday, April 20, 2009

Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 3's Personalities of the Week: Hipinder and ARA

Last week on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 3, Anand Raaj Anand humped a ladder. But before we get to that, let's talk about my other favorite - Hipinder Hopernath.

Picture Hipinder Hopernath right in front of your eyes. Then imagine putting a cross-hair on him so that he is divided up into four quadrants. Each limb is in one quadrant. If you are feeling particularly generous you can put his head into a fifth quadrant - although four should be good enough to illustrate the point.

Now each of Hipinder's four quadrants have a mini-brain of its own. I'm not sure where they are located or how the physiology works - but they are there I tell you. How do I know? Because whenever Hipinder dances, each mini-brain acts independently, thus achieving the considerable feat of moving each of the four limbs completely indepedently of each other.

To say Hipinder is uncoordinated would be too simplistic. It's like saying soccer is a game of kicking the ball. Actually soccer is a game of opening and closing spaces - and how its players play in those spaces. Similarly watching Hipinder dance is like watching an epic battle drama. Each of Hipinder's four fiefdoms battle for supremacy on the dance floor by doing what they think is best. Occassionally they form loose alliances - one foot might move in taal with say a hand. But these alliances are short lived. Then its back to Warzone Hipinder all over again.

In his wildcard performance, Hipinder's choreographer Lilian Mendes tried her best to hide him by putting him in some black mukhmali outfit and then dancing in front of him as much as possible dressed in a tasselled green number.

Anyway, back to Anand Raj Anand - who dances like the energizer bunny. The best thing about ARA is that he'll be all arms and legs but strangely enough his hips remains super tight - incapable of any coordinating movement. So when ARA dances, it appears he's executing super cool moves born of an alien race - its the physical equivalent of speaking in tongues. He's like a katputli on speed.

Last week ARA decided to pay homage to Rajnikanth. May the Gods strike me down for saying this, but Rajni - beloved though he may be around here - is an Amitabh Bachchan category dancer. So ARA would be the perfect person to execute this tribute. And what was on paper came to fruition as ARA danced like a rabid animal (in all fairness he had warned everyone that he had arrived in a "phaadu, junglee mood" - someone copyright that dialog, quick!)

After making out with his prop - a white ladder (2:32 into this vid), ARA donned Rajni style shades and yanked open the top of the ladder - which was supposed to shower flower petals all over his head. ARA got a bit carried away and lost his mark, thus causing the petals to drop in one unceremonious clump on his right shoulder.

Saroj Khan was so impressed with all this cavorting around that she called ARA "Govinda ka baap" - further fuelling the long standing rumor that Rajni might have sired most Bollywood actors from the 80s.

Sadly, neither Hipinder nor ARA are with us any longer on the show. The world of dancing weeps!


Teddy said...

LOL...Aspi, this was great!..."warzone Hipinder"..."Katputli on speed"

Adbhut! Atisunder! Atyant manoranjak! Aap mahaan ho Aspi!

Anonymous said...

swadisht !

Teddy said...

I can't help putting in something about DID. The show has reached the point where it's all about which Master can outsmart the others, and Remo does it by sabotaging the competition's proteges.

The chalaak one here looks like Remo. He consistently is kanjoos with praise when it comes to the strongest dancers of the other masters, nitpicking and subtly undermining their confidence and goes overboard with his little pet, Prince.

The stunts went totaly overboard a couple of weeks ago, when we had Sunita dancing with a number of pots balanced on her head, arms extended with burning oil lamps on each palm, and then she lit more lamps with her foot and then proceeded to dance on a bed of nails. about stunt overkill.

The Vrushali got eliminated, inspite of her "excellent expressions". I never liked her expressions, they were always a bit too "chaalu" and unnecessarily slutty, but apparently a great hit with Mithun. She did dance well, though.

Among the masters, Remo is the wily one, and Terence is probably the most true to his art, while Geeta is judge HEEHEE of the show.

Remo is going to make sure his ghoda wins. Mayuresh is so out of luck...

maxdavinci said...

sirjee after teddy's comment you ought to do a post on DID!

and yes we are raged when ppl mention thalaivar's(rajni) name aise hi.

I like how you put him in teh BigB dance category, coz despite being acrobatically challenged both exude style in their moves.

Lekin that gaana(apdi podu) was from a movie called 'ghilli' starring ex-miss india finalist Trisha and the king of locusts Vijay!

Unknown said...

Teddy, thanks for the DID update. Given what I've seen lately from Mithunda, slutty expressions would be a big hit with him.

max, king of locusts Vijay? What have I been missing?!

meena said...

Aspi, always enjoy your takes on things...
but whats happening in bollywood man? no dil da maamlas anymore? been waiting for some love chakker advice :) mind rush ko bulao please...rakhi sawant and her swayamvar should be good for something.

Leera said...

Jhalak is officially the most entertaining thing on desi tv.
The best part, the 'chugalkhor' format (something other shows have half-heartedly tried but never this unabashedly).
Shweta Tiwari in her best, 'angry teacher chiding a child' voice informs us week after week with much glee the contestants various badmaashis and bitching fests.
The all powerful VT is equally malignant to everyone picking no favorites in its editing and ability to enhance foot in mouth moments.
As far as the contestants are concerned, its on the money with a fair balance of Negi-ites (ARA - a personal fave since he appeared in a yellow shirt doing a spastic akhiyon se goli maare and Smarmy amarnath).Talented aggressive alpha females (shilpa shukla, gauhar) and the soapy types. Hard Kaur was the surprise package for me.
I must admit that one of the only soaps I have ever watched was Ghar ek Mandir,as retarded as the rest of them but with Ram Kapoor who I have adored since then. The man has charisma.

Btw loved Mona Singh's giggly punjabi kudi standup especially her skewering of Nach Baliye. Judge hee hee any day over Cold as Ice Kapoor!

Unknown said...

meena, I miss Mind Rush - I will shoot the good phsyco an email. We should get Rush's take on the Great Bollywood Cold War (i.e. Salman-SRK).

leera, I thought Mona Singh did a great job - she was practically the Drift itself on the show. Only a nicer version.

Anonymous said...

& For Meena - do write on the new couple Shahid ( Chhotu) and Vidya Balan !

Lin said...

I've hated Remo's crap since the like the second week of competition.

I liked him in the pre-rounds. But once they figured out the groups and contestants, uh, his crap annoys me to no. freaking. end.

It's come to a point that I can't even watch anymore.

Lin said...

Saroj Khan is really rude.

She wouldn't let Toby explain, even after she asked for an explanation.

I know it's all reality and edited, but man is she freaking rude.

Lin said...

Also, I think I'm starting to hate DID and am beginning to suspect Mithun and Remo are in achoots.

Just read a spoiler.

Khushboo should be eliminated, but Mithun used his veto power cuz it was all girls being eliminated.

So, umm. Why not use it last week when Vraishali was unfairly affected by Zee's stupid propping up Terrence's choreo and their dance as a "Kamasutra" dance.

Add to that, last week Mangesh was disqualified due to injury.

But nope, he had to use it to save Remo's member.

It's obvious they used it to even out the contestants with the weeks remaining.

But I find it really annoying that it was used to save someone from Remo's team.

Unknown said...

Come to think of it - why did Toby (and is it just me who is amused that it is pronounced Tob-bee) go pick a no-win fight with the judges?

Leerabasu said...

I think Tob-bee was pissed his chaliya-bhawra pun wasn't understood by the judges and that he had easily the most forgettable celebrity partner.
Saroj Kahan however is one of those old school 'masterji' types who is always on the verge of being offended. She pretty much just heard 'nautanki' and dug in to poor hapless To-bee.

Lin said...

But if SK were old school, she would have never spoken to the guruji (Deepak's Yakshaghanna) in the rude way she did.

People were so right to dislike her back from her Nach Baliye days.

leera said...

I think Hipinder was keeping her sort of mellow so far with his utterly butterly shayari,now that he's gone she's in full form.
Btw notice how she just agrees with Vaibhavi nowadays, that lady is my favorite she's bindaas yet knows when to inform.

Unknown said...

Tob-bee will soon Not Tob-bee. This bad joke dedicated to Judge Heehee.

Although that "sniff my underarm" move that he devised with Bhagyashree was pretty darn cool you have to admit.

Lin said...

Shweta's HarT Kaur pronunciation always sticks out like a sore thumb for me.

But my main reason. Aspi It doesn't have to be on this post, you can reply in your next JDJ3 post after you've watched the episode.

But I was wondering if you could translate what Sonia said about Baichung's wife watching the rehearsal.

Disclaimer note. I am not implying any snarkiness or anything. It's just she seemed to have given an honest answer about her emotions (and completely understandable emotions as well). And her last sentence especially.."Sometimes I think....(in hindi). It just seemed so raw. So I just want to know what she said.

Youtube clip as well. 3:41-4:02

Thank you so much in Advance. :) :) :)

Jason Statham - The Translator said...

She said:

"When Baichung's wife comes to watch us I have mixed feelings. This is a dance - its very private. I feel a bit psychologically weird that I'm jumping on Baichung and we are in all these positions. Sometimes I feel 'what will she think about me'. Because now we've become friends."

Lin said...

Thank you so much!!!

I so appreciate it.

Thanks again.

Mind Rush said...

Great write up!
Hope you will write about the soul shaking dancing on this week's JDJ. Esp note-worthy were Hard K and also the "empowerment of women" sequence.

Mind Rush said...

Mind Rush is also feeling compelled to offer advice to Priety Zinta's "Mess."

Lin said...

man oh man.

I thought maybe the dance episode was too serious for here (Despite Boman and Kunal.)

But I'm just beginning to watch the elimination episode, and hahahahahaahahhahahHAHAHAHAahahahahaha

Rohit Roy "Apke k?? snide remarks" hahahahaahahahahahahahaahahah.

Damn. I can't wait to watch the rest and read your write up.

JDJ is being so dumb. Really? Show Bhaghyashree's comments and articles?

How the hell are they going to get good enough celebrities next season with this crap?

As for Sonia, mad mad respect for that girl. I already knew about it before the act. It was in the papers when around the time it happened. I had googled her a few weeks back.

Though I'm of two minds whether shweta should've asked how she got the concept. On one hand, she had already talked about it before to the media. And she probably wanted it out there as a message.

But I don't know....

Lin said...


that was really embarrassing

really really embarrassing

I don't know how any of them could've just stood there without wanting to fall down a hole

anyway, i will wait for your write up.

Don't worry. I'll still have more to say on the subject.

Unknown said...

This week was hugely entertaining! Report - as soon as I get some time!

Teddy said...

OK..DID rant!!!

Alisha messed up with her car tire stunt, and then Khushboo was left literally dangling clumsily in the air - she couldn't do the ambitious stunt that was planned. And Sunita cried and sobbed about how everyone is picking on her.

And get this..Mayuresh was kicked out. He went graciously, which was good. And Jay, inspite of dancing so well, was again in the danger zone.

At this stage, who cares if you are a girl or a boy, if you cannot perform, you are not good enough. Clearly Khushboo and Alisha were uncomfortable with their stunts, and Sunita pulled the poor little me act.

Salman was a delight, as usual, but then he is way ahead of the competition. Prince is getting to be very likeable. Jay, inspite of being very talented, has had no luck so far. Siddhesh is good, but not very likely to win.

I think it's between Salman and Prince at this point. Apart from Alisha, none of the girls are better than those who got eliminated, like Bhavna and Vrushali, who were way, way better.

Unknown said...

Good reminder - I need to try and catch DID while in India.

Speaking of which, if anyone has any questions for Bhaichung's choreo Sonia on JDJ, let me know. Hopefully we'll do a Q&A soon.

Lin said...

I can't bring myself to watch anymore.

Terrence is like the best judge of the three, criticizing mostly fairly for all of them. Pointing out his own kids' mistakes, etc etc.

Not to mention, he has good choreographed pieces too.

Yet, his kids are getting out, one by one.

And it pisses me off even more that Mithun used the veto to save Khushboo. Freaking Khushboo.

Not Vrushali. Not Bhavna, but Khushboo. Ugh.

And Remo. He used to be my fav in the beginning. He has such a great smile and teeth, and is a good looking guy. Plus he could understand Malayalam.

But I slowly started really disliking him as a judge. His tactics and propping up are just way too much.

Lin said...

OMG. You're going to interview Sonia Jaffer? That's really cool.

But I don't have any ?s, at least not right now.

Wait, maybe something like why/how or what the process was for choosing the Bas Ek Pal song.

Unknown said...

would love to read the Q&A with Sonia and if possible Hard Haur too.

I noticed she's friends with Kareena Kapoor and a few other celebs so whats in the pot for her in the future?

Does she think Gauhar is that great a dancer to score a YRC film?