Tuesday, April 07, 2009

One bad joke on Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 3

Just when I thought there was a crack creative team behind this year's guilty pleasure Jhalak Dikhhla Jaa 3, the entire show took a massive hit in terms of tacky potential. How so? Allow me to explain.

Last week the producers decided to add Koena Mitra to the list of contestants. This happens all the time on other shows - although with indifferent results. On the other hand, Koena - who looks uncannily like an Indian Barbie Doll (the hairline! the eyebrows!) - instantly ignited the show.

First, there were the credentials. Koena once shook her tushy in a bid to impress Sanjay Dutt while singing deeply philosophical lines like "What good is a drunk who isn't drunk?" Later she tried to seduce Anil Kapoor by washing his car. Yes, the girl has paid all kinds of dues.

On JDJ, she instantly went about cutting contestants down to size ("I'm a bigger star than Karan") and establishing alliances with others ("Ram is so cute!"). She made a bid to steal Monica Bedi's choreographer (Javed Sanadi - arguably the most compelling dancer on this show). She did all of this with a delicious nonchalance that whetted my appetite for TV trash.

And Hells Bells! She turned out to be a pretty good dancer. Dressed in a skimpy skirt and honking white boots, she danced like a slinky and devoured the camera like Lindsay Lohan. And then what happens in the results episode? She announces to everyone that she really isn't on the show but came on as an elaborate April Fool's joke. This is a terrible prank to play on audiences! It's like telling a terminally ill kid that new tests have revealed he will live and then saying "Sorry, kid. April Fool!"

This disrespect for audiences can only be atoned for by bringing Koena back and making her a permanent fixture on this show. Until then, I'm giving the entire JDJ team the Nirupa Roy grade - i.e. C minus.

Then there was this other excellent controversy - that is being handled rather poorly I might add - Gauhar Khan despising her choreographer, the rather hapless Hanif Hilal.

Early on, Gauhar - who has a laser focussed ambition and is a wee bit self-absorbed like any good model should be - let it be known that she wasn't happy being paired with Hanif. Especially after the man went out and announced that he wasn't good at "Bollywood Dance". JDJ revolves around Bollywood dance. And Gauhar is a kick-ass dancer. So this wasn't a good match up.

Gauhar refused to make lemonade with the lemon she'd been handed (and I use the word "lemon" from her perspective here). Hanif didn't help matters by not sensing what was important to Gauhar and working to make her comfortable. This resulted in a minor credit hogging controversy and major bad blood. Gauhar kept bursting into tears and acquired the reputation of a drama queen. Hanif tried to smile through it all with grace. Both resembled a couple on a very bad blind date. Much squirm inducing fun ensued.

This storm even had its own calm before. Then Hanif messed up a song mix. This made Gauhar unhappy because she felt it was too short. And it made countless of Gauhar fans unhappy because Gauhar decided to unleash a belly dance to that song that - as a result - didn't last long. (It evoked the following comment from Saroj Khan: "Kya chali hai tumhari kamar!").

Unfortunately Hanif had injured his leg during that same routine and ended up executing a brave, if farcical one-legged dance. Later using the ghisa pitaa "kayanaath" line from Om Shanti Om, he implied that Gauhar might have ill-willed the injury on him.

Just when I couldn't get enough of all of this, the whole thing came crashing down with the producers granting Gauhar's request for a Hanif replacement.

The jury is out on this one. Not in terms of whether this was right or wrong - I couldn't care less. It's just that while the ending of this arrangement saddened me, I would like to see the new bakra that arrives.


maxdavinci said...

I'm suprised that you're not watching Zee's Dance India Dance, with the same creative team of SRGMP they have all the cheesy b/w sankat moments and sad elimination music...

Unknown said...

max, I have my preferences and little time (these days). So its SRGMP, JDJ and II in that order. Time waste is done on Oye. That reminds me - I need to write something about that.

musical said...

Paaji, who wants to watch these shows, it's your reviews that provide all the fun!! Thank you, thank you :).

PS: Did you catch a glimpse of Amul VOI: Mummy ke superstars!! It totally reminded me of the JJWS Mother's day episode ;). Worth watching only because of the judges :).

Unmusical said...

Agree with Musical - VS & Shubha Modgil are a treat to watch. The participants are just average.

Anonymous said...

Aspi, you should do a review on American idol. I know that is not what everyone comes here to read, but again we have aapna guju bhai on there, "Anoop Desai" and boy I tell you last night he did great. That boy can sing and has great vocals... he deserves to be on the Drift..or guess I am not getting the drift after all, hhhhmm which one is it???

Unknown said...

VOI Mummy ka Superstar - that sounds like a hoot. I'm there this week if I can find it on my program guide.

Anon, I follow American Idol closely out of interest in music. I know the contestants. Their strengths. Their odds. Eventually I might even find out who got the boot. Heck, I even follow some of Ryan Seacrest's tweets about the show.

But I don't think I've never watched an episode. Time ki kami.

Anonymous said...

This is really crazy...Rakhi Sawant starting a new reality show to find a suitable groom for herself and the finale will show her grand wedding with the winner of the show!!! http://www.indya.com/gallery/gallery.aspx?aid=51

Himesh R said...

I read this blog a lot (Aspibhai, kem chho) and am very happy to hear this news. Where can I apply to be contestant on Rakhi show? My movies are not shooting much due to economy so I have free time.

Abhishek Awasti said...

what he said. where to sign up?

Pitu said...

rofl at 'kya chali hai tumhari kamar'! Only Saroj talks like that, man!

Rakhi S said...

Mein yeh clarify kar loon ke apply karne se pehle, please sab hopefuls ke paas yeh sab hona chahiye.

- six pack (body pe)
- paisa
- six pack (bottle mein)
- Bollywood ya TV channel mein naukri

Sab logon ko good luck. Abhishek, please apne aap ko sambhalo! Woh din gaye.

Lin said...

Hahahah. Aspi, Koena's full thirty should've tipped everyone off. (Well, it doesn't help that by the time it aired six days later, the april fools thing had gotten out on the net.)

But did you see the other contestants' faces when Koena got that 30? Hahahah. Especially Parul. Can't say I blame them. Her dancing was good. But it didn't go with the theme at all, which was two different styles.

As for Saroj Khan/Vaibhai with Deepak and his guruji. All I can say is How. freaking. RUDE.

What a bunch of morons. Don't they go to the practices. They should've known beforehand type of dance Deepak was going to do. And if they should've researched it, before making dumbass ignorant comments.

Saroj Khan spoke the poor guruji so rudely. How would they be fit to judge if they don't know the type of dance. In the end, I think she got what the guruji was trying to explain about the mudras, though. Since she gave a 10.

Vaibhai, on the other hand, wasn't as rude as Saroj, but it was still pretty asinine for her to demand explanations of what she considered to be mistakes, when she first thought it was kathakali. Was Deepak's face green? No.

What a bunch of idiotic judges, I tell you.

Lin said...

Oh, and I totally agree about Javed. I think it's a shame that he is paired with Monica Bedi, though.

Lin said...

Aspi, I don't know how frequently you plan on doing JDJ3 posts, so I'll just post here.

If you had another one planned for last weekend's, my bad.

Shiv Pandit is out. Rohit Roy will be hosting.

I'm going to miss the silliness. My fav was his telling Hard Kaur that her performance got to his soft core.

Unknown said...

He is? How come?

I was planning on a post - but no problem with where comments end up.

Lin said...

Don't know why. Not that india-forums' articles are like the best thing ever.


BTW: apparently, in India Sony left out like almost 20 minutes in the first airing because of the Sourabhee thing, probably. Then showed the full show at the second airing.

Don't know if it came through like that on the U.S. feed.

Just in case. And your dvr didn't catch the second airing.