Friday, August 07, 2009

The philosophy of Fast and Furious

Summer is a time when film studios try their best to cash in on the holiday spirit that pervades the US by lining up their biggest releases. The release schedule gets crowded. The studios counter by releasing movies that can hit audiences hard and pick up a lot of cash quickly. Say hello to the Popcorn Action Blockbuster.

But every now and then a movie transcends its action genre and proves to be much more than a set of brainless thrills. Fast and Furious (Vin Diesel, Paul Walker) - the fourth installment in the 'car-zen plus some hot chicks on the side' franchise started off the blocks early this season. Reportedly made for $85 m (a bargain by Summer Tent pole standards), it pulled in almost $350 m worldwide.

I watched it on DVD expecting a mindless action flick. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that FF is not all brawn. In fact, its a veritable collection of VDT (Very Deep Thoughts). Littered all over the movie are codes to live life by.

As a public service, I've collected the key Fast and Furious philosophies below.


Dom: The cops are getting hungrier...
Letty: Then I guess we are doing our job


Letty: Ride or Die, remember? ...We'll figure it out. We always do!


Agent Stasiak: I could hit a fortune cookie out of the window and hit 50 David Parks right now
FBI Agent #1: Its (a) Korean (name), not Chinese
Agent Stasiak: Whatever!


O'Conner: I lied to everybody
Mia: Maybe you lied to yourself. Maybe you are not the good guy pretending to be the bad guy. Maybe you are the bad guy pretending to be the good guy. You ever think about that?
O'Conner: Every day


Dom: So what are we hauling?
Campos: For the money Braga's paying you don't need to know
Dom: You just said you wanted real drivers. A real driver knows exactly what's in his car!


Gisele: Are you one of those boys who prefers cars to women?
Dom: I'm one of those boys who appreciates a fine body regardless of the make


Gisele: So now that I know your taste in cars, tell me, what about your women?
Dom: It all starts with the eyes...20% angel 80% devil


Gisele: (Your taste in women) That's not anything like me
Dom: It ain't!


O'Conner: Everyone is looking for you
Dom: I'm right here


Mia: How do you say goodbye to your only brother?
Dom: You don't!

Now watch what happens. Even with the (highly misguided) expanded Oscar nomination roster, Fast and Furious will get passed by for Deepest Action Movie. Wait, what? There is no such category you say?

There ought to be one!

More Fast and Furious on the Drift: Cars and Masculinity 101


Anonymous said...

love it, the write up matches the pace and flavor of the movie. Great job!!

m said...

Vin Diesel has aged so much..i couldn't see past his wrinkles, but his acting is still as bad.. give me my childhood back :(

OT: would it be rude to ask a guy (with a receding hairline) to wear a hat when they're out with you..

Unknown said...

Good question. I'll answer that question with another one: would it be rude to ask a woman to wear black if she is a little north of size 0?

On the other hand - it depends on who the guy is. If its your bodyguard it would be ok. If its your personal shopping assistant, still good. If it's your annoying cousin, no problem. But outside those three specific cases - no.

Anonymous said...

Aspi, to answer your question, just make sure you have the little black dress, that killed your bank account with you when you ask her, I am sure she will oblige thrillingly.

And, m the same for you, if you bought a hat at GANT,NYC..I am sure the guy other than bodyguard, PSA, or ur cousin would love to model it.

Mind (fast and furious) Rush said...


"Yes" if you have a Y chromosome
"No" if you don't.

m said...

oh damn..there's this guy with a possibility of a new future romance (yeah yeah another one) but he has a receding hairline :( he is in his mid 20's and has a receding a few years he'd be a total ganja..but with one of those emo hats on i could look past the lack of hair.. he's an artist type (mixed media)

i would rather watch fast and furious than those so called "chick flicks", well in fact i would choose none but if i had to choose then some mindless dick flick over chick flick

Unknown said...

m, don't date bald guys. They are too intelligent and sexy to handle.

heh heh.

Anonymous said...

m Direct from the 'horse mouth'.. I have to say the less time he is fussing in the front of the mirror, means more attention for you.

Mind Rush said...

M--On the topic of bald and sexy men...please see my long ago analysis of Vishal Dadlani on the Drift.

Dr. Woot said...

Dr. Woot said...
Heyy Mind Rush jii you are very well known in the Bollywood circles, given your affinity to solve the problems of our frequent lovelorn. I would like to pass on a case from a frequent visitor who comes for his beauty check ups. Hope you can solve his woes.

Mr. S(ave) (my) A(ss) K(hhaan)

Mindrushjii I was recommended to as you were known as the baap of all counsellors. MY problems are as follows. I have a 20 yr old girlfriend while I am reaching my 40. While she may say pharak ki painda, I take extreme measures to bridge this age gap. I went to Dr Woot for my Buttox treatment. And Boyy it just works fiinnee. Of course I had to mooch around wearing sunglasses covering half my face for a couple of days. But the results are heartening, but KK doesnt appreciate my efforts at all (she doesnt show or mention it at all boohoo). I desparately want to get settled down as Im(itate)'s LAK is running successfully before I grow even older. Even though I am the producer, for publicity's sakes I capitalized on poor Im(itate)'s name so as to draw viewers. I feel guilty if it causes LAK to be constantly compared to Jab They Met !!I worked really hard to maintian a cool Khan image. I checked on numerology hence the extra K's and A's, I went through Buttox ( age scares me !! look at my mates Salesman and Starlook very haggard in appearance. I am tired of being the overlooked Kkhaan. I want to be the No. 1 Kkhaan. Wat do i do??? I got the girl, I got the productions company now what do I do?

-- Save (my) ASs KKhaan

Hi this is woot again. You may hear from me again. AFter the disastrous luck of Luck. Someone in another Kkhaan household cried WTF!!?? I will soon pass his queries to you. will wait for the response. I bid adieu.

Unknown said...

Mind Rush, where are you? Twinkletoes Khan needs your help!

Mind Rush said...

Dear Mr. K--to be Number 1 you can't play it Safe! You got the Botox, you got the Babe(or Bebo?) and now you need to Break Out!

You have taken chances in love before. Married young to an older woman, lived with an Italian lass, and now this tatoo on your arm....

Take risks in work too! Don't try to play the clueless 20-something anymore. Get over your inherent insecurity. Try playing the role of a sophisticated 40 year old! Older men are hot too! (Case in point: A certain Mr. Big B.) Explore your range like the real Numero Uno Khan (Aamir). Focus on the production. Buy a cricket team by using Bade Nawaab's expertise.

Bottom line in Bollywood--Bucks in your Bank matter more than Botox.

Unknown said...

Wah, the philosophy of Mind Rush is also a code to live life by just like Fast and Furious.

BTW, what happened to Saif's tattoo in Love Aaj Kal - I forgot to watch out for it in the movie.

m said...

apparently manboy needs to go back to the tattoo parlor every month or so to like have the tat be reapplied.. eff knows that mus be the desi tattoos .. temporary ones..

Unknown said...

Really?! How come I haven't seen any breaking news specials or 3 hour mini-series about this on Zee TV already?

Anonymous said...

During shooting make up technicians apply full coverage foundation on the arm of actors with tatoos. So Saif is Safe!

Unknown said...

Actually, I looked for a pic or two and found this one of Saif from Love Aaj Kal. You can clearly see the tat.

Anonymous said...

never seen so much huu haaa over a simple tattoo, what is so special about this tattoo, million other people have tattos.

Unknown said...

That tattoo is super special. Whenever I sketch some mythical character from Ramayana (for fun), I find ways to pay homage to that tattoo. All the Rams I've done recently have "Seetay" tattoed in the exact same spot.

Teddy said...

Wondering if Ravana had "MWAAHAHAHAA" tattooed on his arm?

Unknown said...

Hilarious! From now on, in my sketches, he will!

Anonymous said...

Aspi, you should post some of your doddles...would like to see that side of story writer versus blog writer.

Unknown said...

My doodles are not worth seeing, but I do want to come up with some unique post-modern depictions of Indian mythology. At that point the doodles would be a reference and depending on how much money I had - I'd get someone to do commissions for me (maybe Doug Mahnke - he'd rock!)

If I ever did a post on that - I'd put my doodles up :)

girlie girl - back after a haitus said...

I've so missed this place! Don't worry, I've been reading, just not commenting. Damn corporate world has blocked you blog.

M - you should have Mr. receding hairline just shave his head! Bald is totally in point, Mr Diesel! hehe!

Mr. S(ave) (my) A(ss) K(hhaan) should sue whomever did his Botox! He still looks the same age, if not older! He should use the same guy his precious uses to plump up those lips!

Unknown said...

Hey gg. Blocking Aspi's Drift at work should be a federal offense.

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